#i think i like the idea that this haunts dean well into s10

sometimes i think about the contrast between andrea and cas

both are “too far gone”

and in the same episode we get such a stark contrast! benny preserves deans happiness; dean does not preserve benny’s

comparing benny saving cas to dean killing andrea is stark and even bleak

(no time maybe for discussion w/benny but it was a fatal blow to andrea; there was no disablement or consideration for knock out blows, certainly no rational convo with her, or emotional appeal for second chances/how to beat addiction etc etc; so very telling)

i mean, benny was doing plenty of flagrant dismissal-and-dehumanization-and-escalation all on his own, but!

just a flash of teeth and bam

dean chose the coldest, most permanent solution; the hunter’s choice

is it any wonder benny wanted to stay in purgatory? his unfinished business now resides there

#and it destroyed benny #i think i like the idea that this haunts dean well into s10 #but his motivations were complicated!#he killed andrea in the time honored spn honor killing #so their loved one wouldn’t have to #now dean starts to battle his demons #and even though he asked cad to take him out he now thinks #maybe he should do it himself #but here is the cool part!#the so called really benny woukd recommend suicide for his cherished ones (andrea) and himself #john isn’t john #mary isn’t mary #benny isn’t benny either as it turns out!#just a fond memory a door left open perfectly preserved and able to be idealized!#i just think about andrea and s10 dean a lot ok #dean rejects suicidal benny as an act self-preservation… NoT truth #*we’re all damned*#the truth is what creates the lovely tension!#andrea kormos is like bela for me #her actress is wonderful give her to me all day!#dean saw benny look on andrea as a monster corrupted… and now deans subconscious is telling him he’s too far gone too as death echoes 10x23 #you’re a stain on your family’s memory says death #benny too calls andrea just a memory even as she cries out: i’m RiGHt here!#and she was right there #he just couldn’t *see* her #and how the abandonment theme fits for her so soooo well #not to mention being blamed for her own corruption/abuse #even though if all ppl benny should know better! shoukd understand! shoukd offer hope!#wouldn’t you rather be a fond memory than a constant festering disappointment?#benny would rather he and andrea both be fond memories