shadowydoes reblogged
“She thought she was independent and strong, but she got one small taste of love and she was hungrier than anyone.”
— Ann Brashares
Desde que tengo memoria, su casa era un lugar seguro en cada viaje que hice a Durango. Pasábamos horas en su comedor, en su sala poniéndonos al corriente. Usted contaba historias de gente que no hasta la fecha no ubico muy bien y yo cosillas de la escuela y mis hobbies. A veces jugábamos cartas o domino, otras solo comíamos postrecitos ricos. Eso sí, usted siempre con su cigarro y su café.
Por veintiún años así fue, hasta este último. Ha pasado un año con tantas cosas en medio y su casa sigue abierta a nosotras, pero usted ya no está. El olor a cigarro sigue ahí que es casi como si en cualquier momento saldría del pasillo a recibirnos. Me parte en cachitos que por más que espere, eso no va a pasar.
Sé que si estuviera aquí me diría que no fuera tan sentimental, que fuera fuerte pero duele y sé que no va a dejar de hacerlo porque de alguna manera todavía la siento cerca. Cada vez que veo unos aretes bonitos o el restaurante que tanto le gustaba o cuando gano una partida de tercias y corridas, la siento pero quisiera que estuviera.
Tal vez por eso la veo en las estrellas, lejanas pero presentes. Ahí está usted con mis abuelos y mis tíos y sus abuelos y sus tíos y sus sobrinos en una bonita constelación que no veo pero sé que está por ahí, en algún lado. Me gustaría encontrar su estrella y esperar una señal de que está feliz, de que voy bien, de que me está cuidando, y lo más importante, de que sepa lo mucho que la quiero.
La extraño, Tía.
«day 26: nothing more beautiful» one time my dad and I saw a puppy being sold at a parking lot. we got close just to see him closer, but these little guy held my arm and cuddled with me the moment he felt me. he has been by my side since then. it’s an honour to be your human.
«day 24: crossroads» I don’t know why ‘clocks’ gave such a hard time that yesterday I couldn’t put anything up. today I decided that I just need to keep going, and waste my time with clock (ha!). So I made crossroads instead. so I still I am one day behind, but it is okay. I had been drawing a lot, so that is cool.
«day 22: in the distance, a small shape» I hope one day I am strong enough to stop running away.
«day 21: glitch» not having a good mental day tbh, feeling like a glitch in this reality but, at least enjoying the glitch effect in procreate.
«day 20: stranger than fiction» I am going to stop apologising and just going with the flaw. I thought of this idea yesterday but I had a strike of inspirations regarding my thesis, so I prioritise that (!!). but anyways, this is a love poem for two of my favourite and comfort (male) characters of all time: hook from ouat and kylo from Star Wars. I have their funko pop in my desk to keep me company. I love them with my whole self. <3
«day 19: mirror» haha, body dysmorphia, haha. I hate mirror more this days. when I have make up or I did my hair I feel better looking at myself. but with the current situation, that is really rare. I exist in my comfy self but is not really appealing. I just avoid mirrors, like the rest of my problems. ANYWAY. one more poem I will be back on track, yay. help, I really need the semester to be over now.
«day 16: planes/trains/automobiles» yesterday was #bangbangcon2021 and I didn’t prepared the poem well. so, I am sorry for not sticking to my rhythm. and today’s poem is going to be poster tomorrow instead because I only have three hours of sleep and me and I don’t think nothing decent is coming out of my mind right now. extraño moverme sin miedo.
«day 15: wishbone» we are half way there. wuuu! I don’t know what else to say. It is simple and easy poem but i liked it (?). I am still not sure. by anyways, I hope all of you are having as much fun with #escapril as I am.
«day 14: after the afterlife» I had a brain fart yesterday and completely forgot about posting the poem. I had free time but it never crossed my mind. But here it is, better late than never. a mis muertitos, se les extraña.
«day 12: comfortable»
apparently my mind decided to skip day 12 here. I am sorry:c the more spring settle, the more the heat and the warm comes back to be a daily thing, the more clouded minded I feel. The quarantine, the change, the loss and the online school (!!!) are not helping at all. I just feel numb, and sad and alone. I feel I cannot do anything but wish something else. wish for a happy comfort instead of a troubled minded reality. I actually planned for draw something for this one, but ironically I wasn’t feeling it. I stared at the black page for half an hour and nothing came out of me. sigh. let’s hope tomorrow threats all of us better. let me have a nicer future.
«day 13: even now, after everything?» what is #escapril or my poetry, if I don’t talk about the wolf hehe. he is like my little ghost, always there for inspiration, always there. I hope one day he decides to believe my side for good so I can talk about other animals. there is this one poem I wrote about abyss and this wolf and, to this day, is one of my favourite poem that I had ever written. someday I will dare to publish it. someday. you, me, we made the right choice.
«day 11: eureka»
back on track! wuuu! (not yet) I am going on writer’s block regarding one of my biggest wips and my thesis (!!) but I working slowly on it. not going to lie, it sucks. oh, muse.
«day 10: l’m worried about her» I am sorry this is posted a day later (3 days because I forgot to post it hereeee, lol). Yesterday (saturday) I came back from spring break and was in the car all day. I should had prepared the poem earlier but I couldn’t. I am going to publish today’s poem later today, so i can be on track again. ✨ dear future me, I hope you are happy.
«day 9: paradox (?)»
to be honest, I am not sure this is a paradox. I think I did more of a never-ending loop. I tried my best, and that's okay. University, life and family have been keeping quite busy, so this poem is more rushed than I would like.
–I need a break–
«day 7: naked»
personally I think one of the most painful thing is to slowly fade away from someone who once was your closest person.
te extraño.