no one:
casteel:
when ur dad is a tree
Casteel fucked.
A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire by Jennifer L. Armentrout
andrew when he met neil
i came out here to attack people and i’m honestly having such a good time right now?
okay but mare killed a man in like chapter 4 of the first book???
“My head smacks the stone bottom and I see stars, sparks, before my vision clears. Every inch of my skin feels electrified. The water shifts around me, normal again, and I break the surface of the fountain...
...The few Reds left behind cower on the ground, begging for mercy. And in the fountain I just escaped from, a man with orange hair floats facedown.”
the man with orange hair is the nymph that was playing with the kids???? like the chapter before???
“A pair of nymphs sits by the fountain, lazily entertaining children with floating orbs of water. One of them has orange hair and hateful eyes, even while kids mill around him.”
how high does neil reach???? like with the numbers???? are they gonna be like 80 and neil is like “good morning uwu” and andrew just goes “986284%” or is there a limit???? i have so many questions
i am literally never letting go of these cardan novellas you will literally have to pry them from my cold dead hands
the car ride after andrew hits neil with a racquet
wymack: are you fucking SERIOUS??? andrew REALLY did you have to HIT HIM????
andrew: did you SEE him??? i couldnt just let him LEAVE you just know hes gotta have a nice dick coach
ari: *jumps in front of a car to save dante’s life*
dante (gay): lemme give you a sponge bath
katniss: *wins the hunger games*
katniss: oh thank god i never have to worry about doing that again
the capital: :)
katniss:
the capital:
katniss: fuck
kevin day is the oliver wood of exy
ronan: i hate everyone and everything i feel no emotions except for hate >:(
also ronan: *dreams cream for adams dry hands* *almost dies trying to dream armor for gansey against bees* *almost dies trying to dream cream to help blues eye*
aftg headcanon
-andrew minyard is an amazing baker
-but he tells NO ONE
-and when him and neil have been married for a few years (becase fuck the extra content) they adopt a daughter and she wants a princess cake for her like 6th birthday and andrew makes it
-its like a 4 tier cake
-very elaborate
-lots of piping and fondant
-neil absolutely flips his shit
-andrew is so unimpressed with neils reaction
-then neils birthday comes and andrew makes him an exy cake as a surprise
-he puts in 0 effort
-like uneven top very messy icing crumbs coming through
-he just buys a plastic goal and sticks it on there and calls it a day
-neil loves it so fucking much
-but their daughter has andrews attitude and can not handle how bad the cake looks and ROASTS andrew to hell and back
-she insists on andrew spending the next year teaching her how to bake so she can make neils cake and make it GOOD because apparently ANDREW is so INCOMPETENT and cant do anything right
adam: *becomes the hands and eyes of a sentient forest*
everyone: bro you just let welk (the guy that murdered our friend) get trampled by weird forest creatures??? not cool man...not cool...oh well lets go home
when maven went: even mare doesn’t tear me apart like he still does...even she doesn’t make me bleed like this...
blue: stay away from aglionby boys because they’re bastards
also blue: yes i’ll take 4