Shade Jay Here

*talking to my queer self through gritted teeth* self-destruction isn’t revolutionary or progressive. self-destruction is letting them win. self-destruction isn’t revolutionary or progressive. self-destruction is letting them win. self-destruction isn’t-

donated to Advocates for Trans Equality this morning to try to feel a bit better. Encourage people to support organizations/groups in any way that they can. There are always people wanting to continue the fight

I’ve been much too busy with real life stuff to really comment about RT closing down. But I do just want to take a moment to seriously thank the fandom over the years, especially the AH fandom that was so kind to me and my writing in the past. To everyone who ever left a nice comment on a fic or a nice note in the reblogs, thank you. To everyone who ever shared their work, thank you. I will forever miss the joy and creativity of the fandom coming up with aus and whole worlds, working together on creative projects, cheering each other on when creative works got noticed. I met so many amazing people and made so many friends through RT and for that I am very grateful. I wish the best for every RT employee in finding a way forward and up from here. And to finding friends in the fandom again along the way

how my life is going lately: finally break down and start medication for depression/anxiety. medication makes anxiety worse. welp 🙃

tfw the job stress hits on top of the school stress on top of the gender dysphoria (partially bc of school and work) on top of always having anxiety on top of seasonal depression and u just wondering how the fuck youre still standing

idk i just really don’t think the RT rebrand is as bad as everyone is making it out to be

starting to consider using they/he pronouns tbh

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love when a therapy session basically ends with my therapist telling me i need to get a new job

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finding that a song i used to associate with an old character, and haven’t listened to the song in a while because of it, now fits a different character in a new au i have, feels so good. nice to listen to that song again in peace. nature is healing

if anyone has cute pet photos or just cute animals in general to share, i would love to see them rn. been a rough emotional last few days for me

was looking to get another cute pronoun pin for work, preferably in brighter colors only to then find they/them lanyards, badge holders, and those extra things you can put behind your badge that hangs below it that also can read your pronouns. ive never been more tempted in my life to buy it all and show up to work making sure everyone in the whole hospital knows my pronouns

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idk if ive made a post on this yet, but ive edited my old fic A Little Rain on ao3 in case anyone wanted to reread it. i still haven’t decided what to do with a lot of old fics. i still want to rewrite Helpless but the next fic is Shark Teeth to edit because its a little easier. my goal is to edit it soon since i do enjoy that one and its a good one in time for spooky season.

also i would edit my original post of A Little Rain on here, but i cant find it since it was originally a prompt fill. would u guys want me to repost the fic entirely here as well? or just leave it on ao3?

between all these adorable mavin photos and a new series of Leverage to watch, tonight is a good night

also sorry to the like two prompts left. ill get to them, just been busy the last week. and started therapy which has not left me in much of a mood to do much. who would’ve guessed bringing all that buried shit up would make u depressed? anyway, trying to get back into writing soon. thanks for being patient <3