Shade Jay Here

If you're down for it, "things you said at 1 am" with jeremwood?

1.) things you said at 1am

Ryan doesn’t sleep.

That’s not to say that he never sleeps, because he does, but they’re rare and fleeting instances. Hardwired to be productive and efficient, his brain forces him up for days at a time with no mercy for his body, and there’s never exactly been a cure for it. Ryan’s just figured out to roll with the punches, to take what it gave to him.

So, he ends up being tired frequently, donning these lines below his eyes that look sometimes darker than it actually is, but really, it’s alright, don’t worry because the others do worry over him. They bitch and moan about him all the time, but Ryan can see the look in their eyes, the worry that bubbles beneath them when they think he’s not paying attention.

It’s just easier to rib Ryan about it and say nothing though. That’s how the group works, their system of working with Ryan’s insomnia, and Ryan can’t fault them on that.

But while everyone else lets life continue on as normal (or as normal as it gets with them), Jeremy instead meets up with him on this tiny platform away from the main hub at the latest hours of the night.

(Latest for Jeremy, to clarify. Because one am, for Ryan, is not late at all if that hadn’t been obvious yet.)

It’s not to say that Jeremy doesn’t join in the teasing and pranking, because he absolutely does – but Jeremy is easily anxious, even if his appearance points to it being the furthest thing he could be. He worries and worries and worries, until someone has to remind him that it’s never as bad as Jeremy’s mind makes it seem. For as much power he has, Jeremy’s always felt powerless against his fear of his only companions hurting.

So, it’s not everyday that it happens, their meetups, but it’s frequent enough for more Jeremy’s sake rather than Ryan’s.

Ryan can’t help it. In the same way he does for everyone, these idiots he’s a part of and can’t find himself without, he indulges Jeremy in his own way. If it takes letting Jeremy ruin his own sleep schedule just to make sure Ryan’s doing okay, then Ryan can easily do that for him.

“You’re a menace, Haywood,” Jeremy says, this mixture of blase fondness in his words tonight. He interrupts Ryan’s thoughts. “An absolute maniac!”

How astute. Ryan snorts, shrugging his shoulders as if Jeremy’s statement is a simple fact of life – water is wet, the sky is blue, and Ryan Haywood is a less than lawfully abiding citizen in the little city they made. And it’s not like there’s laws exactly here, but everyone knows that if there were, Ryan wouldn’t care about them. True neutral people are like that.

“You say that like I’m the crazy one, which is fair. But I’m still not the one doing blood magic,” Ryan blithely points out, head tilting towards the whole blood altar that’s sitting on the platform across them. This intimidating, hulking structure donned in the screams of the eternally suffering mobs and pretty, red-black fairy lights strung up. “We can literally hear the mobs getting their blood drained and replenished, over and over again.”

Jeremy, for his part, doesn’t deny it. He just turns red, and Ryan distantly muses about how it matches the blood mage’s outfit. Jeremy’s dedication to the aesthetic of his role is commendable, and Ryan chuckles at the sheer epiphany that shows through on Jeremy’s face when he makes a joke about it.

(Ryan fears that Jeremy will take it as incentive to go further and make everything black-red colored. The man is dedicated to all the weirdest things, and Ryan accidentally enables him frequently.)

“Please don’t turn the entire platform red and black, not all of us are into reminders of your blood sacrifices.”

And Jeremy huffs, hands twitching as if he definitely hadn’t been planning on that. “I wouldn’t turn the entire platform red and black! Just a little bit of it, like my area and Gavin’s,” he explains before perking up again, “And this platform too! We always meet up on this tiny, empty looking thing.”

Ryan raises a brow. “Why is that a bad thing? We didn’t exactly plan this idea out with decorations in mind.”

“Well, that’s ‘cus it was like late when it happened! We can do that right now, c’mon, that’d be so much fun!”

Ryan stifles a sigh and the twitching of the corner of his lips. He averts his gaze from the man sitting besides him, but he can still feel the excited gaze that cuts into the side of his face with a giddy intensity. A loud series of pleading follows after the unrelenting gaze, and it’s only a matter of time until Ryan sighs again.

“Not tonight, at least,” Ryan relents tiredly that has nothing to do with his insomnia and everything to do with Jeremy’s pleading. Even so, a small smile graces his face at the loud whoop! that Jeremy lets out. “Too sudden for decorating, since we have to make all the stuff first. And plan it too, I guess.”

“That’s still a yes!”

Jeremy lets out an excited yell as he slings an arm around Ryan’s shoulder. He chatters on about possible ideas for the platform, suggesting things that Ryan doesn’t know they’ll be allowed to do if the others have anything to say about it. And as the older between them, he should probably be a little more willing to put a stop to those things, but…why not, really?

(Not like either of them will be stopped by the others’ disgruntledness anyway, but at least they can say that they gave the others a moment of consideration.)

Ryan shrugs, and Jeremy takes it as a sign to continue on. Instead of saying anything, Ryan just shuts his eyes and lets Jeremy ramble on and on – there’s no end in sight, it seems like, but there’s no rush. They have all the time in the world for this conversation, the next one, and their future ones.

Ryan can’t sleep – never been able to do that well in his life – but that’s fine.

He knows sleep will come eventually, and it’s not too bad anyway, knowing he has this little platform to retreat to – this home away from home. He’ll have these one am conversations fill up the static snow in his head, and the knowledge that even the loneliest nights will have company pressing against his side as the sun eventually rises from its nest once again.

So, it’s more than fine, really.