“Wanna hangout?” Actually, I have to do something in a few weeks so I need to stay home and rest until then, thanks though!

Same

Anhedonia - not finding pleasure in things you normally take pleasure in - is a symptom of depression.

When depressed, you will also be reluctant to start things, and won’t find things appealing.

This sets up a nasty vicious cycle where ‘life feels bleak’ -> ‘nothing sounds fun’ -> do nothing -> don’t have fun -> ‘Hey I’m not having fun, life really is pretty bleak right now’ -> More depressed.

The way to break that cycle is to do things that you enjoy. Doing things solely for the sake of having fun is an important part of handling depression. Not only does it keep you from getting more depressed, but it can make you go ‘Hey I’m having a really nice day’ and give you bouncy energy to do productive things with. 

I get so focused on all the things that need doing that I forget that when depressed, doing things solely because they’re fun is the practical thing to do if I want to get thing done.

There is a difference between procrastination and having trouble activating. If there’s a thing you need to do and you know you aren’t going to be able to do it now, do something fun, and afterwards you will have better odds of actually doing the thing.

If you find yourself in the situation in the picture, pick something that you are intellectually aware you would find fun if you were feeling better and start doing it.’ This means that you are focusing on something other than *sigh* and playing a game can make you feel productive, put ‘life is good!’ and ‘I can succeed at things!’ chemicals into a brain that is sorely in need of them. 

A couple weeks ago when I couldn’t even find any interest in reading fanfic, I eventually managed to start playing a random RPG and felt much better a few hours later.

i certainly wasn’t expecting anything close to actual, halfway decent advice that might help some folks out when i threw this little Funne Picture out into the wild, but that’s nice. thank you. i’m not sure if i’ll ever break this little cycle for more than a few hours, but .. yeah man. it’s just a little nice to see folks trying to help other folks out on posts of mine instead of the usual terrible nonsense

Exactly what I needed right now.

I love seeing those posts where people are like “if you have headmates or whatever you should be on meds because that’s not okay” posts. Like neurotypicals just think that there’s some magical pill out there that will ‘cure’ anything they don’t consider ‘normal.’ Meanwhile, in the land of reality, my shrink thinks it’s pretty healthy that I’m finally getting to know my headmates, and has no intention of putting me on magic pills, because as long as I’m not hurting myself or anyone else, who cares what neurotypicals think is ‘normal?’ Actually, let’s be real: who cares what neurotypicals think at all?

It is not a magic pill, it is called “Therapy” and you can even do it in groups!

i… literally mention my therapist… right there… in the original post…

did you not actually read this… do you honestly believe telling someone who has already admitted to being in therapy… to go to therapy… is a “gotcha” moment???

Okay, so there’s a relevant quote from Slatestar Codex here. (The link is to the source; attribution is a Thing.)

It is not a therapist’s job to make you normal. It is a therapist’s job to give you your life back, on whatever terms are acceptable to you. And if your therapist can’t do that, you need to find a new therapist.

For some people, having headmates and/or alters is a debilitating condition. They’re losing large amounts of time, having trouble going to work and/or school, or hurting themselves or other people. In that case, they probably do need help, but I think most people who are getting fucked up by their headmates that badly are willing to seek out help on their own anyway.

Other people who have headmates and/or alters find it to be a neutral thing, or even a positive thing. 

Have you ever been in a roommate situation where different people do different chores, because, (say) Kate loves to do the dishes, but can’t stand to vaccuum, and Toby’s the exact opposite? If Kate and Toby are headmates, they can wind up doing the same kind of thing. Headmates can also comfort you when you’re sad, remind you that your depressive or intrusive thoughts are not true, or help you deal with difficult people. 

So, if you’re in that kind of situation, where your headmates are helping you to be more functional than you’d otherwise be? A good therapist is going to treat it like the hair dryer on the front seat of your car. 

Sure, it is a Weird Thing. It makes you look a bit eccentric, and it’s not normal. But if having headmates keeps you from having repeated nervous breakdowns, helps you hold down your job, or makes it so that you can deal with your abusers? Then it’s a win, and a good therapist won’t try to ‘fix’ that. 

It is not a therapist’s job to make you normal. It is a therapist’s job to give you your life back, on whatever terms are acceptable to you.

this applies to so many mental things, too. i love my therapist because she helps me invent my own normal. my normal used to be… really unhealthy and dangerous. now it’s not.

Battery Theory: For when the Spoon Theory is too confusing

another person on facebook was having trouble getting their family to understand the spoon theory because they couldn’t wrap their head around the metaphor so I wrote up a detailed version of my battery post I made ages ago inspired by my macbook, might as well post it here too.

I’ve never been a big fan of the spoon theory because it’s kind of abstract and confusing to explain unless you print out and carry the thing with you and make people read it because it makes NO SENSE out of context so I made one that most people will be able to understand easier. (might not help with elderly people but generally they will get it because their battery might not be defective, but all batteries stop holding charge when they get old so they are more likely to Get It without a metaphor)

When you get an electronic device, like a laptop or cell phone it comes with an rechargeable battery. Some people are unlucky and get a dud. Or maybe there is a recall and the entire line of the product due to a defect.

My battery isn’t any good.

When I’m all charged up I and it says it’s ok to unplug the charger, I’m not at 100%. I haven’t been able to charge that far up for years. I am already basically in the yellow when I start my day. If you only have a half hour of battery life just browsing the internet, how are you expected to load a flash video to watch that takes up way more juice?

You can maybe do it with the right help, such as a portable charger (here representing accessibility devices like wheelchairs, or treatment/medication). Sometimes the percentage amount is also inaccurate to. It says you have 20% battery and 20 minutes left and then your computer just -shuts off- out of nowhere. Surprise! you crashed! I hope you were anticipating that risk and saved your work!

In addition my charger doesn’t always work.

I can plug it in and it just says “not charging”. So sometimes you leave the computer overnight to charge and wake up, wait, 30% battery when my 100% is a normal person’s 60%????!!!?? not fair! This is what happens when you combine in the restfulness or inadequate sleep.

The combination means you are really working at rationing what you can do with your device. Should I turn it off most of the day in case I need it later? How many people can I talk to on my phone for how long before it runs out of juice. How much work can I get done on my laptop before the battery dies, possibly taking the work with it?

That’s how are bodies are. We have to carefully monitor how much energy we (think) we have, what amount of stuff we should be able to do with it, what must be sacrificed, as well as try and keep track of charging stations, battery packs etc. to rescue us if we miscalculate. And if we do we could lose something important in the power outage.

But batteries aren’t user replaceable and we don’t have a warranty, we can’t get it fixed, just have to deal with it as well as we can. The battery does not define us but it effects every part of our lives effecting everything we do and every decision because while most people haven’t experienced a energy crash, they have probably experienced the hell that is the computer shutting down and destroying hours of effort you’ve put into something as punishment for taking that risk.

Yup. Absolutely this.

does anyone else ever feel guilty for not being mentally ill enough? like your anxiety or depression fucks you up but then you have good days and you’re productive and it’s like, wow clearly I was faking it bc look at me! I’m fine! and then you feel guilty for wasting everyone’s time 

Positives of BPD

(Borderline personality disorder/emotional regulation disorder). I made a post like this a while ago when I first started to use tumblr. It was pretty brief and choppily written (in my opinion) so as I’ve said, I decided to remake this with more explanation/research included for more understanding and since lots found it and really liked it. Might as well start 2015 off focusing on these positives. This is important for awareness/understanding and for those of you who have it as it really helped me overcome feelings of guilt towards having BPD/ERD and the horrible stigma. It helped me gain self-acceptance. That is why I decided to share it here. Emotional Regulation Disorder (BPD) is a chronic mental disorder of emotional hypersensitivity and dysregulation- meaning reactions are hypersensitive/fire off erratically (seizure-like) and do not regulate or process well and the same as others. This causes people with the condition to easily react to other stimuli that other people don’t, become easily triggered and lack the ability to regulate the extremities. It affects thought processes/patterns, emotions, behavior, beliefs, and other forms of functioning. The limbic system plays a crucial role in these reactions, as it affects memory, emotional reactions, learning and developmental ability, thought pattern, behavior, and the way the body perceives external stimuli. Clearly, it then causes a wide range of symptoms (depressive, dissociative, hallucinations, delusions, anger, suicidal ideations, etc) as there are hundreds of ways to recognize ERD/BPD reactions, symptoms, and traits/characteristics. ERD/BPD reactions are “full systematic responses.” As the condition influences ‘all’ emotional reactions and other functioning, and there is such a wide range of symptoms, it is often described as a version of multiple mental disorders combined. (borderline of multiple conditions) However, these reactions mean the hypersensitivity and dysregulation can affect positive reactions as well. Specifically, with research, analysis, and observations, some hallmark traits/characteristics may be: -Passionate:  As the level of psychological reactions highly differ in those with BPD compared to those without, individuals with the condition experience the ‘extremity’ of emotions/responses. The research on the psychological reactions on those without the condition compared to those with it, for instance, includes: Sadness-depression/grief, embarrassment-humiliation, nervousness-panic, anger-rage, and happiness-euphoria/passion, to name a few. Individuals with BPD have been observed to be especially very passionate and reactive as they often react and express this passion and euphoria.

-Insightful: Studies on BPD indicated that because of their own hypersensitivity and pain, people with BPD may easily connect to what is around them. For instance, they were able to easily read facial expressions, behavior, and emotions of those around them in an expression test. People with BPD may take experiences like these and emotions and turn it into insight and understanding, for one example, and have been shown to have an unusually high level of insight.

-Curious: Observations and studies show unusually high curiosity is common in some people with BPD from this high connection with their senses and surroundings, “sort of like a child. People with BPD are often described as having ‘childlike’ traits and characteristics referring to the interests, energy, innocence, and confusion from the unregulated emotions and reactions.”

-Compassionate/sympathetic: Again, as a result of their own hypersensitivity and pain, many with BPD may portray a high level of sympathy and understanding to others and the things around them.

-Loving/appreciative: Idealization is a main characteristic of BPD. People with BPD may idealize and glorify another individual in their life because of such strong emotions and needs, and they may be very appreciative because of hypersensitivity and painful experiences.

-Dependent: Dependency is often a hallmark symptom of BPD. One main reason for this is the extremity of the hypersensitive emotions often generating a huge fear of being alone and abandonment far more than most can imagine. Identity symptoms, such as a lack of sense of self, may also result in dependency. Dependency can be a good thing with the proper balance, like support, closeness, affection, and interconnectivity.

-Protective: Research indicates this trait is more pronounced in ‘male’ individuals with bpd, or people with (higher testosterone levels), although not restricted. This reaction may be common as a result of the intensity someone with BPD feels towards a situation or person and have been shown it may relate to the high aggression noted in BPD symptoms.

-Loyal/caring: Related to the last few, the strong reactions may often relate and connect to loyalty and care.

-Creative: An unusually high amount of writers have BPD. High levels of creativity were linked to some individuals with BPD in research cases- new ideas, artistic or musical ability, writing, or multiple other areas of creativity. Fantasizing is a common characteristic in BPD as well as daydreaming- a low, normal level of dissociation.

-High nociception (pain tolerance): Studies indicate alterations between pain processing in over half of those with BPD as opposed to individuals without. Individuals with BPD were far more likely to tolerate heat and other types of pain, despite being hypersensitive psychologically. The result of this comes from different systematic responses and antinociception and may be a result of long-term self harm behavior in some cases.

-IQ: Certain individuals with BPD were linked to a high IQ in studies where the condition seemed to play a significant role and connection to it.

-High awareness/connection: Again, as a result of being easily connected to surroundings and outside stimuli, people with BPD have been observed have high awareness. Marsha Linehan also states they may have more levels of spiritual experiences more often. Furthermore, people with BPD have been observed to have a high level of comfort, security, and connection to nature and animals, such as pets, as stated by the DSM.

-Discipline: Obsessive compulsive features are quite common in BPD- intrusive thoughts in the thought pattern/processes, repetitive behavior as a result of self harm, paranoia, distress, etc, and repetitive speech, to name a few. Research observes people with BPD to also display high levels of self-discipline, work orientation, and drive connected to the repetitive processing.

-Alluring/Interesting: Because of the intensity, many people note in observation the interesting and/or alluring behavior or energy of someone with BPD. Furthermore, people with BPD are sometimes referred to as a “siren” in psychology as a result. Other studies have stated foundings of “physical attractiveness” patterns-however, realistically, it’s not “possible” for a neurological disorder to be related to any sort of physical attractiveness unless they were simply just attractive people or if portrayal plays a part.

-Individualistic/engaging: Many in observations and studies claimed to notice the extreme individualism and/or depth and mysterious/engaging behavior/feelings given off from BPD individuals as a result of the connection, hypersensitivity, and reactions.

-Sarcastic/funny: The DSM and multiple other sources /observations state people with BPD may often express sarcasm and humor.

-Bold: One of the main symptoms of BPD is impulsiveness; however, research states this may be tied to a positive trait in some individuals with BPD- boldness, bravery, and ability to speak their mind.

-Strong: On a psychological level, people with BPD are often described as feeling the most intense, agonizing reactions, and one needs to be quite strong to handle them.

-Lively: Intense reactions may result in high euphoria and engaging/active behavior and energy.

-Intense- Many state in observations and research the intensity of the reactions and energy from someone with BPD from all these ^ reactions. Marsha Linehan states, “Although it is likely that emotion dysregulation is most pronounced in negative emotions, borderline individuals also seem to have difficulty regulating positive emotions and their sequelae.”

I have never seen a post like this before. Always always always it’s the negatives and never the positives. Honestly, I’d never considered that there were positives. Looking through each and every one of these I was like “shit okay wow yes” because I’d never stopped to consider that these traits were related to my BPD. We’re never taught that there are positives to go along with negatives. Fucking never.

So I’m sharing this because it’s important and all of you BPD folks who follow me deserve to know that it’s not all bad all the time <3

words you should recite while having an anxiety attack.  (via

jappan

)

ABUSE

Information

Coping

Chat Rooms 

ADD/ADHD

Information

Coping

Medication

ADDICTION

Information

Coping and Recovery

ANGER

Coping

ANXIETY

Information

Coping

Panic Attacks

Interactives

Medication

Chat Rooms

BIPOLAR DISORDER

Information

Coping

Medication

Chat Rooms

DEPRESSION

Information

Coping

Medication

Chat Room

EATING DISORDERS

Recovery

FRIENDS WITH ILLNESS

GENERAL RESOURCES

GRIEF AND LOSS

HOTLINES

MEDITATION

OCD

Information

Coping and Treatment

Chat Rooms

PERFECTIONISM

Information

Coping

PTSD

Information

Coping

SCHIZOPHRENIA

Information

Coping

Treatment

SELF-HARM

SELF-LOVE

SUICIDE

THERAPY

This masterpost needs so many more notes. You might save someone’s life, or make their day, or you can turn their life around by showing them this. When I’m not so sick, I’m going over the links I need because this is hella helpful right now.

Reblogging for everyone, myself included. Gonna look through those anger management and anxiety and PTSD links tomorrow.

I think one of my biggest issues with Joker (or more specifically, his popularity) and a large portion of his fans is like

Obviously I don’t like how abusive he is with Harley

But every time I explain that to a Joker fan I always get “well yeah but he’s fucking insane so” as a response

But like

a) that’s not an excuse??? Mental illness doesn’t give you a free pass to treat your girlfriend like shit

b) It implies that he’s abusive BECAUSE of his insanity. The mentally ill aren’t automatically abusive, and more importantly, a lot of irl abusive people are not insane at all and are perfectly aware and in-control of themselves despite what they may say

I asked an exbf to explain his obsession with the Joker to me once, and he told me it had to do with his intelligence and how he wasn't as insane as he'd have everyone believe. Which, okay, yeah, Joker is fucking terrifying. He's killed thousands of people, and instead of getting sent somewhere with Death Row, he's thrown into Arkham where the revolving doors release him into society sooner rather than later. 

It has been shown numerous times in the comics and shows and movies that he's not as insane as he wants people to believe. He is a psychopath, but he's not insane. I remember Jason calling him out on it once, and Joker was extremely put out about it. But that's where his intelligence is downright scary. He's willing to go above and beyond what is necessary to play the role of this psychopath with no limits, no boundaries, and no rules to follow.

His relationship with Harley is an extremely abusive one. And it's got almost nothing to do with his supposed insanity, and everything to do with power play. He tries so hard to be in control of everything and everyone around him, and poor Harley plays right into that. She's an incredibly intelligent woman (she was a goddamn psychiatrist for fuck's sakes), and that everyone thinks she's some dumb bimbo for staying with the Joker is the real tragedy.

She's emotionally and physically abused by the man she's in love with, and people blame her for it. She fell in love with him while analyzing him, because he is such an intelligent man. They're both highly intelligent people, but she is driven by her devotion and love to this madman, and the Joker is driven to act as an agent of chaos.

What's the scariest about Joker is he knows perfectly goddamned well what he's doing. 

And he chooses to do it anyways.

That's not insanity. That's being a psychopath. There's a difference.

protip on how to not be emotionally abusive: when messing up, don’t go “i’m sorrry i’m. trash i soo„,rry i’m sorry i’m garbage” don’t. do that. doing that makes the whole thing about you and i’m sorry but it’s not about you right now. it’s about what’s happened and you apologizing...

I have been guilty of this is in the past. One of my biggest issues that I'm hoping to fix through therapy is that I can sometimes see when I'm being emotionally abusive or manipulative. I see it and I acknowledge it, because I've been in emotionally abusive relationships my entire life and I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be the victim that becomes the abuser.

But as much as I see it and acknowledge it, there are times I'm angry or depressed enough to sit there and go "I don't care. I don't care right now and I'm going to say these hurtful things anyways."

And I'm not okay with that. I'm not okay being that person, so I'm doing my damnedest to change that particular aspect of myself. The people who have decided that I am worth being friends with deserve at least that much. God knows I can be a difficult person to be around sometimes.