Just realized my issue with letting go of my anger at my past probably stems from my need to have "real problems". If my "real problems" go away, then I feel as though I can't ask for comfort. I feel like I can't vent about normal things irl because I think they'll be dismissed rather than have my feelings validated.
If my problems are "important" enough...if my conditions and symptoms and emotions are still "bad enough"...Then I can reliably ask for emotional connection and support and RECEIVE IT. It's okay to be vulnerable because the outcome of rejection is low enough it's worth risking getting hurt.
Normally if I would vent about a problem while growing up, and my parents would cut me off with the solution. Yes, a solution is important! That is part of what needs to happen. But what's also important is allowing me to express my emotions about it and receive some emotional validation rather than minimization/dismissal ("if you know how to solve it...then why are you still trying to talk to me about it?").
I feel if I get better the emotional support I am able to get is going to go away again