Ronon: I don’t know, this plan seems complicated. John: You once said that about an orange. Ronon: They don’t make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don’t.
Bra'tac: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence. Jack: ...Don’t you mean benevolence? Bra'tac: No.
Daniel: Jack... Jack: Oh no, 'Jack' in B flat. Jack: You're disappointed.
John: While I'm gone, you're in charge Rodney. Rodney: Obviously! John, whispering to Teyla: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad. Teyla: Obviously.
Rodney: Our relationship is strictly professional. John, sitting on Rodney’s lap: Absolutely. Only on business.
Jack: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face? Teal'c: What do you mean O'Neill? Jack: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?
After Jack retires:
Jack: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives. Sam: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train. Jack: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.
Jennifer: Well, remember when Rodney made a romantic dinner for me? Sheppard: Jennifer... he microwaved you a pizza.
Rodney: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? John: It was autocorrect. Rodney: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? John: Yes.
Jack: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.
Sam: Did it hurt when you fell- Jack: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Sam: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Jack: ... Sam: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
Vala: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Daniel: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Vala: That one. I want that one.
Sheppard: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as… people I met.
Ronon: You're smiling. What happened? John: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Teyla: Rodney tripped and fell down the stairs today.
Sam: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up? Daniel: *remembers dancing to the ringtone* Daniel: I didn’t hear it.
John & Rodney:*Playing video games* Teyla: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? John: *silence* Rodney: *silence* Teyla, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?
Jack: Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first. Daniel: *sobbing* Jack: Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.