Ronon: I don’t know, this plan seems complicated. John: You once said that about an orange. Ronon: They don’t make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don’t.
John: While I'm gone, you're in charge Rodney. Rodney: Obviously! John, whispering to Teyla: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad. Teyla: Obviously.
Rodney: Our relationship is strictly professional. John, sitting on Rodney’s lap: Absolutely. Only on business.
Jennifer: Well, remember when Rodney made a romantic dinner for me? Sheppard: Jennifer... he microwaved you a pizza.
Rodney: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? John: It was autocorrect. Rodney: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? John: Yes.
Sheppard: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as… people I met.
Ronon: You're smiling. What happened? John: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Teyla: Rodney tripped and fell down the stairs today.
John & Rodney:*Playing video games* Teyla: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? John: *silence* Rodney: *silence* Teyla, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?
Rodney: Do you know the best way to respond to disagreement? Carson: With tears? Rodney: No. Carson: *tears up*
John: Ow! Rodney: What’s wrong? John: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow. Rodney: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.
Sheppard: Are you a painting? McKay: What-? Sheppard: Because I want to pin you to a wall. Zelenka: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-
McKay: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.
John: Are we fighting or flirting? Teyla: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- John: Your point?
McKay: Ladies, gentlemen and Zelenka, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld! Teyla: A llama? McKay: No. Sheppard: A baby llama? McKay: No! Zelenka: A baby llama with a little hat on? McKay: NO!
Sheppard: Teyla, you need to react when people cry! Teyla: I did. I rolled my eyes.
During the city's weekly crisis
Rodney: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT. Rodney: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.
Ronon: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths. Atlantis Expedtion Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.