Daniel: Jack... Jack: Oh no, 'Jack' in B flat. Jack: You're disappointed.
Vala: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Daniel: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Vala: That one. I want that one.
Sam: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up? Daniel: *remembers dancing to the ringtone* Daniel: I didn’t hear it.
Jack: Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first. Daniel: *sobbing* Jack: Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.
Daniel: Oh, fiddlesticks. Jack: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.
Daniel, bursting into the room: You two are having sex! Sam, not looking up from her book: Really? Jack, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.
Daniel: Just be yourself. Say something nice. Jack: Which one? I can't do both.
Sam & Daniel: *accidentally set the lab on fire*
Sam: We need an adult!
Daniel: Sam, you are an adult!
Sam: We need an adultier adult! Get Jack!
During a group project:
Sam: *does 99% of the work* Jack: *has no idea what’s going on* Daniel: *says he's gonna help but does not* Teal'c: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*
Sam: Would you slap Jack- Daniel: Yes. Sam: I didn't even finish! Daniel: Sorry, continue. Sam: Would you slap Jack for 10 dollars? Daniel: I would do it for free. Jack: Rude...
Daniel: Are you laughing at that video of Jack and Teal'c sparring? Sam: No. Sam: I'm laughing at the comments.
Jack: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. Daniel: Oh. We're going out? Jack: Wh...
Jack: I’m going to get so much done today. Daniel: I’ll hold you to that. *8 hours later* Daniel: So how much did you get done? Jack: One thing. Daniel: Well, that’s one more than usual.
Daniel, to the team: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Sam: But how- Daniel, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.
Daniel: Hey, Jack, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? Jack: Yeah. Daniel: And you, Sam? Sam: Umm... yes? Daniel: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date! Sam: Did he just-
Daniel: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one. Vala:
Daniel: You know what your problem is? Jack: Jack: I only have one?