I just thought the audio fit Karl XII

Hi my name is Carolus Rex Sveciae Gothorum Vandalorumque and I have short light brown hair that I usually wear slicked back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Alexander the Great (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gustav II Adolf but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a king but my clothes are plain and undecorated. I have pale pox-scarred white skin. I lived in a castle called Three Crowns but it burnt down in 1697 (I was fifteen). I'm an absolute monarch by divine will (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly blue. I love the Carolean army and I get all my clothes sown to match theirs. For example today I was wearing a blue coat with leather gloves and a black tricorn hat, yellow trousers, a yellow vest, and black riding boots. I was not wearing any powder to conceal my scars, and no wig (wigs r dumb!!!). I was walking outside Narva. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of Muscovites aimed their muskets at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

sexy-salmon

Really important

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myfavoritedemons

heavensghost

Far away from your trouble and worries, you belong somewhere you feel free

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homura507

Greedfall

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a-royal-obsession

5 useless facts about Karl XII

#1. He used his thumb when putting butter on bread, (dunno why but I find this sort of charming)

#2. When he was a teenager Karl was… kinda crazy. His cousin (and brother-in-law) Fredrik was even more insane. Together they rode through Stockholm, yanking wigs and hats from unsuspecting people.

#3. They also threw furniture from the palace windows and further amused themselves by flinging cherry pits at Karl’s ministers.

#4. In the spring of 1707 Karl was plagued by an infection that refused to go away. It was believed that it was caused by the King’s habit of always removing his hat when speaking with someone. Therefore a wig was ordered on his behalf. When his officers first saw Karl wearing a wig, he was met with snide comments. The men joked around, claiming that he looked like a suitor.

#5. And that folks is why Karl never wore a wig again.

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imagineyourhistoricalfigure

Imagine your favorite historical figure having a magical girl transformation

sildesalaten

well you asked for it

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sildesalaten

My 24 hour comic from the Oslo 24h challenge 2018, “The return of Karl XII”.

Unfortunately it is sloppily handwritten in a mix of norwegian and swedish, but I’ve made an attempt to translate it here:

1. Nazi dude: Sweden has gone downhill lately! Our pure nordic blood har been sullied by immigrants, who also wants to eliminate our culture. But now there will be an end to it all! It’s Time for a new Swedish Empire!

2. Nazi dude: Oh, my lord! You must save Sweden! Throw out all the immigrants, throw the social democrats and enivronmentalists and gays in jail!

3 Karl XII: Shut up! (thinking: what on earth is he going on about?). Oh, I feel so stiff and dizzy… And I’ve such a terrible headache! But some fresh air will surely get me back to myself!

4. But this is Stockholm! I haven’t been here since my youth! It seems to have changed a lot! A statue of me? Not bad! Oh look, my new palace is finished. Good job, Tessin!

5. Person in car: You ran into someone!

Karl XII: But now I remember!

6. I was just about to invade Norway! I must hurry back to the front! Look, my old uniform! Good as new! Now, I must get back to Norway.

Next part: https://sildesalaten.tumblr.com/post/639053030500810752

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sildesalaten

The 2nd part of “The return of Karl XII”. Part 1: https://sildesalaten.tumblr.com/post/638962500913741824/ Part 3: https://sildesalaten.tumblr.com/post/639109631890931712/

English translation:

7. Train station voice over: SJ Regional train towards Hallsberg-Kristinahamn-Karlstad-Oslo will soon depart from track 12.

Karl XII: A practical way to travel! Why haven’t I heard of this before?

Dude in the background: Seat 48?

Other person: Everyone has gotten the wrong seats!

8. Kids: Hi. Where are you going to?

Karl XII: Fredrikshald.

Kids: Isn’t that an old name for Halden? I’m from Moss, and my cousin Lasse here is from Uppsala.

Karl XII: Swedes and Norwegians as brothers and sisters… it warms my heart. And of course, I should rule all of them!

9. I became king at age 15. My enemies immediately attacked from all sides. They thought I was a spoiled and naive child, unable to defend my land. But they were wrong.

10. Through smoke and hail of bullets, I rode in the frontlines, invulnerable. Ah, I remember it as if it was yesterday! the king of Denmark defeated and out of the game, the king of poland kicked off the throne. There was only the tsar left.

11 Kids: What happened next?

Tell us more, old man!

Karl Xii: Not “old man”. Your Majesty!

Kids: But what happened next? Go on with the story, your majesty!

karl XII: What happened next? hm, well… now, you see…

12 Karl: …Russia is terribly cold in the winter. So it didn’t go that well for a while…

13 But now I’m back! I’ll invade Norway, and take back my honour and my domains!

Train controller: Please sit down.

14 Controller: May I see your tickets, please?

Kids: Here.

Karl Xii: I did have some coins in this pocket… I’m going to Halden.

Controller: you can’t buy a ticket on board on this train, You should have bought beforehand.

15 I tried to! But the machine refused to give me a ticket, no matter how many times i ordered it to do so!

Train controller: Then you better come with me!

Dude in the background: eh, sorry, but our seats are…

Karl XII: Oh, I think we can settle this right here and now…

Kid: Wait!

16: Kid: This is Karl XII. And he is dead!

Karl XII: Well that’s exaggerating quite a bit!…

Kid: There are children’s tickets, adult tickets, and senior tickets. But where does it say anything about what it costs for someone who’s dead?

Controller: Hmm, you might be right. I guess we’ll let it pass this one time. But this train doesn’t pass by Halden, so you’ll have to change at the next station.

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sildesalaten

Happy new year! Here is the 3rd and last part of “The return of Karl XII”, my 24 hour comic from Oslo 24h challenge 2018.

Part 1: https://sildesalaten.tumblr.com/post/638962500913741824/

Part 2: https://sildesalaten.tumblr.com/post/639053030500810752/

Translation:

17. Kids: Goodbye Karl XII!

Dude in car: Hey, cool costume!

18. Driver: Are you going to some sort of reenactor thing? My sister is into that stuff.

Karl XII: So this is a “car”?

Driver: Already in character, I see!

Karl XII: What happened to horses?

Driver: Awesome zombie makeup too, by the way!

19. Driver: Here we are!

Karl XII: thanks for the lift. Now that I’m here in the city, I could sneak unnoticed into the fortress… the gates are open and unguarded! How sloppy!

20: Even the inner gates are open! But where are all the people? It’s completely quiet here… No, wait… I can hear something.

21 Karl XII: w-what? Where are my troops? What happened here? Have they all retreated without my orders! In that case, they’ll…

22 (Monument: Carl XII fell here 1718. Fredriksten salvaged the fatherland).

Karl XII: What am I doing here? I, once among the most feared warriors of the world… now, i’m reduced to a forgotten joke!

23 The world is not the same anymore. There is no war to win. It’s too late. Speech bubble at the end: But…

24 Person: Carl XII! Come on, everybody’s waiting for you!

Everyone: Happy birthday to you,…