severussnapemylove reblogged
(Severus and readers child going to Hogwarts)
Severus; “Daddy’s going to drop kick anyone who touches you.”
Y/N; “And Mummy’s going to bail Daddy out of jail.”
severussnapemylove reblogged
severitus incorrect quotes in chronological order of how a severitus story would go part 2
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harry: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it snape's problem.
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severus: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But then they met me.
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severus: I am in charge of this disaster! harry: I have a name, you know.
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Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. harry: And I choose to waive that right! harry: *screaming*
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harry: You saved me! Why? severus: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.
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harry: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons. severus, deadpan: Well well, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.
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harry: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside severus: severus: I swear, if I step outside and all of my mugs are on the front lawn- harry: *Sips tea from bowl*
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severus: ...Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? harry: Your note told me to satanize the house before you returned. severus: severus: Sanitize. I wrote sanitize, Potter.
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harry: Professor, professor! severus, sighing: What's wrong now? harry: Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. severus: Well then, why are you calling? harry: Well… There’s a crisis
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harry, holding a scooter: sev- sir, can I go outside and play with this? severus, making dinner: Whatever. I'm not your parent or anything. harry, running outside: Thanks professor! severus, running out after him in a pink apron screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!
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harry: To make up for sending you into a fit of anguish and exasperation earlier, here, have a nice hot cup of tea! severus: It's cold. harry: A nice cup of tea. severus: It's horrible. harry: Cup of tea. severus: I'm not sure if this even is tea. harry: CUP.
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severus : I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. harry: Mine just says "harry no." severus : I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
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harry: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Professor Snape and not do the thing, harry: Well there’s a clear right answer here. harry: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*
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severus, looking at a photo of harry: I hate this photo. harry: I look so sweet in that photo! I’m smiling kindly. severus : You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something. harry: Up to kindness.
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harry: *running towards snape with open arms* severus: *moves out of the way* harry: Hey, why'd you move?! severus: I thought you were going to attack me? harry: I was going to hug you! severus: ...Why would you hug me? harry: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
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severus: What's this? harry, hugging severus: Affection! severus: Disgusting. severus: ...Do it again.
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harry: *Stubs toe* FUCK! severus: Mind your language! harry: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? harry: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
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severus : What happened?! harry: Do you want the long version or the short version? severus : Short? harry: Shit's fucked. severus : Okay, long. harry: Shit's very fucked.
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severus: Just be careful, Harry! harry: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Severus! harry: It's everything around me that's careless.
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harry: What’s up? I’m back. severus: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead harry: Death is a social construct.
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harry: ...And if I run at Severus, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. *spins around and sprints at Severus* Comin' in! severus: NOWAITI'MHOLDINGCOFFEEDON'TYOUFUCKINGDARE- *mug shatters, catches Harry*