Minerva; (sees Severus wearing new clothes) “I like your top, Severus.”
Y/N; “I have a name, Minerva .”
Severus; *facepalms*
Albus; *Chokes on a lemon drop.”
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dumbledore: you’re supposed to bump your fist against mine.
snape: why?
mcgonagall: i love it when you two impersonate humans.
Headcanon; Every August 31st, the entire staff of Hogwarts gathers at the Three Broomsticks for a night out before the school year starts the next day. Without fail, they always get entirely sloshed. Severus always makes sure to brew an extra large batch of hangover cure potion to sort everyone out the next day.
Y/N; "Where’s Severus?"
Albus; "Don’t worry about Severus."
Y/N; "Oh, I’m sorry. Have you met me?"
Severus; "Albus, you are asking a thirteen year old boy to fix the Wizarding world's problems!"
Harry; "I’m fifteen."
Severus; (sarcastically) "Oh, then carry on."
Severus; “I give up. I am so tired.”
Minerva; “Get the emergency supply!”
Albus; *carries in Y/N and places you in front of Severus *
Y/N; *smiles*
Severus; “AND I AM BACK! LET’S GO!”
Y/N; "Severus and I are dating."
Minerva; *gasp*
Albus; *gasp"
Severus; *gasp*
Y/N; "Seriously, Sev?"
Severus; "Sorry, I'm still surprised."
severussnapemylove reblogged
dumbledore: sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
snape: no, it was my fault. i shouldn't have used my one phone call to play a prank on minerva.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Albus; "What did you three do?"
Harry;
Ron;
Hermione;
Albus; "You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the Ministery or not."
Albus; "And what do we say when life disappoints us?"
Severus; "Called it."
Trelawney; "As the prophecy foretold..."
Sprout; “It really do be like that.”
Hooch; “Oof...”
Remus; “Tonight’s a great night to never wake up.”
Minerva; "Time to fist fight God."
Albus; “NO!”
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Dumbledore on his way to introduce his dark wizard boyfriend to the rest of the Hogwarts staff.
severussnapemylove reblogged
This is such an underrated moment: Albus simply beat Grindelwald's men with a fancy walk.
I'm sure Gellert is fucking proud of his husband.
I can’t say exactly why, but that side-step is such a Dumbledore thing to do.
Flitwick; “Reasons why Halloween is the best holiday?”
Minerva: "You're not obliged to visit your relatives."
Severus: "You're not obliged to get gifts for anyone."
Albus: "People will give you sweets for absolutely no reason other than Halloween."
Pomona: "It's the only day where it's socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin."
Severus; "Everyone lies from time to time."
Albus; "Not me, I never lie."
Minerva; "Oh, really? Tell me, did you sleep with Grindelwald?
Albus; "None of your business, and that's the truth."
Imagine Albus or Severus annoying Minerva and she just silently makes direct eye contact and pushes something off their desks.
Albus; "Let's go over what we know about all these incidents."
Severus; "Are we calling them "incidents" now? I was thinking more along the lines of "That batshit time yesterday when we almost died.""
Hagrid; “If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous; if it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.”
Albus; “What if it bites me and it dies?”
Minerva; “That means you’re poisonous.”
Pomona; “What if it bites itself and I die?”
Filius; “That’s voodoo.”
Minerva; “What if it bites me and someone else dies?”
Albus; “That’s a coincidence.”
Severus; “What if we bite each other and neither of us die?”
Y/N; “That’s kinky.”