I hate how none of them will say "Guillermo, I miss you" instead we get "I'm confiscating your piss bucket so you have an excuse to constantly come into the house again"

yeah? yeah.

From working with vampires to working with stake(holder)s

What We Do in the Shadows – 6.02: Headhunting

no one appreciated this on twitter

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2019-2024) SEASON 6, EPISODE 5: NANDOR'S ARMY

Interview with the vampire

also, its sister tweet:

How could you forget:

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

ID: Two father’s day cards. The first reads, “Dad, there’s no one I’d rather slooowly turn into.” The second has hearts on it and reads, “You’re like a dad to me.” End ID.

You have been visited by the Badger of Executive Function!

May this tenacious beastie grant you the strength to break through whatever is holding you back from completing that important task you've been meaning to get to, and the energy and motivation to

Do The Fucking Thing.

The funniest homophobia I ever experienced was a Mormon lady at my work telling me she would accept me being gay because we have to get along as coworkers but I really should consider not being gay because gay people have sex like animals (especially gay men) and she just couldn't stop thinking about it and how gross we are. She started really getting distressed, near tears, and saying 'I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop." over and over and miming some kind of sex acts with her hands and I was like ?????? What is happening???? One of the other Mormon ladies had to come over and pat her on the back and help her sit down to help her calm down and our boss gave her the afternoon off due to being too upset to work.

I also cant stop thinking about gay sex at work but i never get the afternoon off because of it :c

polite paws