Wilford: Why are you looking at me through a fork…?
Silver Shepherd: I’m pretending you’re in jail.
Wilford: Why?
Silver Shepherd: It’s spiritually healing.
Marvin: I’m so proud of you!
Chase: Why?
Marvin: Because you hang around me and I’m a good influence!
Wilford: Here’s your stabby grabby.
Bim: Wilford, it’s called a fork. Please hand me a spoon.
Wilford:
Bim: [sighs] ...The soupy scoopy.
Wilford, grinning: Well, why didn’t you just say that the first time?!
Jackieboy: Hmm, Chase has been pretty quiet today.
Schneep: Yes, it's quite nice, actually.
Jackieboy: ...
Schneep: ...
Jackieboy: We should check on him.
Schneep: Immediately.
Celine, newly dabbling in dark magic: I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am --
The Colonel: A doll.
Damien: A cinnamon roll.
Mark: A sweetheart.
Celine:
Celine: ...Stop it.
Wilford, looming up with a knife to stab Bim:
Bim: That better not be what I think it is.
Wilford: It’s a knife --
Bim: It’s my good silverware! Everybody knows not to touch my good silverware!
Chase: Wow, it sure smells like wrongdog in here.
Jackieboy: ...Oh, buddy.
Chase, tearing up: Ask.
Chase: How's your day been? So far so good?
Jacques Septique: Oui, oui, I had a little croissant, way too much coffee and a -- how you say -- panique attaque.
Chase: ...Okay. Yeah, so far so good.
Chase: Okay, two-person huddle.
Marvin: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.
Silver Shepherd: Bim, is that my mug you’re using?
Bim: No, it’s mine.
Silver Shepherd: It...looks just like the one I have...
Bim: You don’t have one like this anymore.
Chase: So what’s the plan for tonight?
Bing: Are you sure you want to talk about the S-C-H-E-M-E in front of M-A-R-V-I-N?
Marvin, sarcastically: Gee, it’s times like this I sure wish I could spell.
Dr. Iplier: All I want is a hug, just a hug from anyone.
Bing: [opens arms]
Dr. Iplier: Not from you.
Eric: [opens arms]
Dr. Iplier: Maybe later.
Silver Shepherd: [opens arms]
Dr. Iplier: I’ll take a rain check.
Google: [opens arms]
Dr. Iplier: FINALLY.
The half of me that's still here is still better than the whole of me that didn't know half the things I know now.
-- Markiplier
Ben: Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for Deb.
Wes, staring lovingly at Deb across the room: I don’t have feelings for Deb.
Ben: That is nowhere near my eyes.
Marvin: Chase and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's --
Chase: Sentences.
Marvin: Don't interrupt me.
Henrik: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Jackie periodically send me texts saying “We need to talk.” It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.
Ben: Deb isn’t answering her phone.
Wes: I’ll call her.
Ben: Scott and I have both tried six times each. What makes you think you’ll -- ?
Deb: Hello?