ppl in fandoms here on tumblr dot com are ready in a heartbeat to denounce twilight for romanticizing and promoting abusive relationships to a predominantly young and impressionable audience but the second you do the same about their fucking ships suddenly media exists in a vacuum and they’re not hurting anyone bc it’s not real

I don’t know about most people but my problem with Twilight wasn’t that it was an abusive relationship. (My first problem was that it was horribly written but let’s ignore that for now.)

The problem was that is wasn’t acknowledged as a abusive relationship to begin with and people tried to excuse it from being labeled as such when it clearly was. It was shown to young girls and romanticized to the point it became a huge phenomenon and young girls actually wanted to date men like Edward. That’s the part that is not okay. The fact that it was shown as something that was okay to idealize. If it was shown to be an abusive relationship in the first place there wouldn’t be a problem, and it would read as more of a cautionary tale rather than a romantic one.

I think people get caught up in this idea that we need to eradicate all negative things from media in general, like abusive relationships, rape, sexism, or racism. The problem with that type of thought process is that if we do that we will no longer be bringing awareness to those issues. It’s also a huge detriment to story telling as they unfortunately ARE a part of our lives in in one way or another and so should show up the stories we write and are told. Stories are really just ways to get a message across to an audience and taking away all the bad things in the world isn’t going to actually fix reality. I love ‘bury your head in the sand’ literature just as much as anyone else and when I need to read something that is lighthearted and escapist then I do. But that shouldn’t be all there is.

As far as shipping goes: it depends on the context. If you acknowledge that the ship is unhealthy and are aware of what it’s media impression is, then I don’t see why that’s a problem. I ship several unhappy/unhealthy ships and hate when fans try and take those and simplify them into something sweet and innocent. A part of enjoying that ship is knowing how messed up it is and being able to see the difference between wanting to copy that behavior and seeing the appeal in a fiction world where it’s not actually hurting anyone. Honestly, unhealthy ships are more real and interesting in concept then happy-go-lucky ones ever will be.

Now as for excusing a ship of being abusive because it is media and “won’t affect anyone”, no. No, media does reflect on the population and writers should take responsibility in what they put out there and how they put it out there. That said, Twilight in particular was marketed to young girls. Something like say Jaime and Cersei from Game of Thrones wasn’t targeted at a young audience with the intention of them buying into only the romance and emulating it. It was for older teens/adults and expected for those older people to know better. Because of the maturity of the story, a unhealthy relationship isn’t shown as an ideal but rather an asset to the story telling and a motive behind the character’s actions. That doesn’t excuse the abusive relationship but it does give it context.

In short, stories like Twilight should be told but only if they are taken in a serious context and acknowledged for what they are AND targeted at the proper audience that can get the lesson.

I agree with this, but the longer I'm in fandom or watching things with casual viewers, the more I realize that "mature themes" in things are missed just as much by older people (and normalized/romanticized just as much so their ship can sail!!!!), and you really can't, in true ageist/ableist fashion, act like older people won't buy into abuse culture's bullshit, or that anybody, really, won't use whatever they possibly can (including other ships that are abusive themselves but not as well-noted as such) to make a "healthy" (canon! mutual! x person would have said yes!) ship out of only abuse and rape and call people who argue with it using canon, including but not limited to survivors of those same things, unreasonable, if not slurs.

Abuse and rape cultures are too pervasive and normalized for it to be really anywhere without people acknowledging it's there (and, most helpfully, vilifying it) and of course not being apologist for it and NOT romanticizing/sexualizing it (esp. in the "ambiguous" victims' case) without caveats, without noting comparatively less harmful ships being better (in canon) for characters/people. That includes in fandom and everywhere else, freely, without being vilified for it and silenced with slurs, "be nice", "ship-/kink-shaming", etc. to try to get us all to assimilate into these cultures so they don't have to feel bad about what the reality of the relationship makes victims feel watching it and take responsibility for what they like out of consideration for other people.

(P.S. Because of that last thing, note to large parts of SPN fandom, 

"No, this fandom is not a family, because a majority of you are abuse/rape apologist heterosexist allonomative queerphobes supporting those parts of the show and fandom without a thought for helping this institution oppress the rest of us [or yourself included sometimes], and queer abuse/rape survivors resist that shit. 

If it is an abusive family, y’all are like the trope of the mom who sees the father, his friends, and the brother abusing the daughter and silences the daughter with apologia, agreement, and teaching her it’s normal cos they do it to you too and you don’t have a problem with it. 

So frankly, I don’t want to be part of your "family" while you all try to fucking silence me/us, I want to pull a Castiel in S9 and make it really damn clear that if you’d stop dragging me in with dangerous infighting and/or trying to better some of you and gain allies in a shitty world, and there was no central loyalty I have to the show we all like or people I do respect here and treat like family, I’d choose a far different ~family.")

ppl in fandoms here on tumblr dot com are ready in a heartbeat to denounce twilight for romanticizing and promoting abusive relationships to a predominantly young and impressionable audience but the second you do the same about their fucking ships suddenly media exists in a vacuum and they’re not hurting anyone bc it’s not real

My window opened soundlessly. I stopped, stepped back, and let it fall closed. It made the usual sound a window makes when it’s closing: loud, obtrusive, and startling enough to get my dad yelling from downstairs.

“Bells, you all right?”

“Yeah,” I called back. I opened my window again. No creaking, still. This was new. This was not good. I frowned at the window. Something would have to be done about this.

That weird Cullen kid was back in school today. He watched me all day like I was some sort of freak. I didn’t have anything caught between my teeth. I had checked during a break between classes in case there was some unsightly lettuce poking its way between my front teeth.

The staring thing was not cool. Everything about him was not cool. I never thought I would actually see a real life embodiment of the lessons in The Gift of Fear that dad had got me for my fifteenth birthday, but here he was, sitting next to me in biology class. Ugh.

Supper was the usual affair: frozen leftover lasagna with textured vegetable protein. Dad like to complain that lasagna was supposed to have meat in it. I told him, again, that if he wanted meat in his lasagna, he was more than welcome to make his own and freeze it. We ended in a stalemate, both eating in silence.

That night, I got down the shotgun from the shelf in the closet, loaded it up, and slipped under my covers, eyes wide open.

I heard the window open. Not because of the now absent squeaking, but because I had set up an old Christmas ornament on the sill. It broke on the ground. I didn’t move and whoever it was what had come in through my window froze, waiting.

I waited, too.

I could hear his footsteps moving across the room as he came closer.

All right, Bella, I told myself, let’s do this.

I swung the shotgun up from beside me, fitted the stock against my shoulder, aimed, and fired.

Edward Cullen fell to the floor of my room. I stood up, shotgun still trained on him.

“What the hell kind of idiot decides to sneak into the house of the police chief?” I demanded. He sort of gurgled.

“Bells?” Dad’s voice again, this time much more agitated. 

“Yeah?” I crossed to the window and slammed it closed so that the only way Cullen could escape was through the door that my dad now stood in, looking wide awake and carrying his own service pistol.

“What the hell is going on.”

“I’d like to file a breaking and entering report, Dad,” I said.

EVERYTHING IS BELLA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER AND NOTHING HURTS. 

IF ONLY THIS WERE REAL

IF ONLY THIS IS HOW THE BOOKS HAD WENT!

Have you ever read any Twilight Fanfiction ?

i wrote a paper as a senior in high school about this and when tracking the unhealthy relationship symptoms i found this out too. fucking a.

THIS is a legitimate reason to think Twilight is problematic. Not “oooh, but it’s girly literature cause the vampires sparkle and all the teen girls are into Edward”. As funny as some of the sparkly vampires jokes are - and they really sometimes are - Twilight’s very unique take on vampires is the least of the series’ problems, yet this criticism gets heard a lot more than the criticism of people who have noticed that something isn’t quite right in the relationship between Edward and Bella.

I brought this up every chance I had when I was working with the youth theatre girls this summer. There was one in particular who was way gaga over Edward and how she wanted a boyfriend just like him, so I told her “Oh, you’d be ok with a guy who followed you everywhere, invaded your privacy, ignored your feelings, sabotaged your friendships, and isolated you from everyone you’ve ever loved? And nearly killed you on several occasions?”

And I literally watched the switch flip in her head.

restores my faith in humanity

Why Fifty Shades of Grey *IS* dangerous:

Fifty Shades & The “Philadelphia Incident”

I’m not really sure if this is the best place to voice these opinions and concerns. And I’m not really sure if it’s my place to be voicing them at all. This whole topic isn’t easy for me to discuss (it’s very personal) but I’ve never been very good at keeping my mouth shut when I think I have a point to make. 

So - I’ve found over recent weeks two different hot topics that I’ve been paying attention to have apparently dovetailed.

I’m talking about the Fifty Shades of Grey series, an adapted Twilight- fan fiction which has been published and hit the New York Times Bestsellers list, and what people in the BDSM community have been calling the “Philadelphia Incident”.

To briefly bring those not familiar with either topic up to date; Fifty Shades of Grey is a story that deals with a young, naive virgin who enters into a domination and submission relationship with an older, powerful, controlling man. Eventually she manages to bring out his softer side and the two fall in love.

The “Philadelphia Incident” concerns a younger, inexperienced female submissive who entered into a domination and submission relationship with an older dominant man. Her limits were violated and she was forced to enter into oral sex with the man against her will. Some people in the BDSM community are calling this rape. Some people have suggested that the submissive woman consented. Others have criticised the submissive woman for not fully understanding what she was getting herself into. The young woman has now been run out of her home due to the criticism, publicity and notoriety she has faced.

Hopefully my point is already becoming clear.

In her novels E L James romanticizes the BDSM community, takes elements of ‘play’ out of context and dramatises what many would consider to be extremely unsafe D/s practice. The female in the story enters into ‘scenes’ which she is unsure about, where limits have not been pre-discussed or agreed, and where she is abandoned post-scene on more than one occasion with no after care or conversation about what had happened during the session.

The novel completely ignores elements of safe play that those familiar with the BDSM community would immediately recognise. RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. SSC stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual. (Note the repeated word in both anagrams). This topic is completely ignored or glossed over in James’ novels and, considering the reaction they have amassed, this is a concern.

Safe BDSM play can be amazing. I can say this as someone who has both dominated others and submitted to others in a range of situations. It is something that I rarely discuss other than with those in the community for fear of repercussions - BDSM is fairly misunderstood by the wider public. In the right circumstances, with the right forethought, planning, and discussion then there are still hundreds of ways a session can go wrong. I have been mid-session with someone who I love very much, in a safe place, when we were both fully aware of each other’s limits. And I panicked. And ended up vomiting into the toilet and crying into his chest. This was an isolated incident, and we weren’t doing anything particularly risky at the time. But I still panicked. Fortunately my partner was fantastic at releasing me quickly and soothing me afterwards. Even with the best of intentions things can still go very wrong.

Although I have not followed reaction to James’ novel closely, one article I recently read criticising the BDSM elements in the story was met with comments from a reader expressing that the story is fantasy, not unlike the Harry Potter stories or Twilight, and not as a how-to guide of BDSM.

Firstly, thank God this isn’t a how-to guide of BDSM because James clearly has little, if any experience of D/s relationships. Secondly, this point in particular scared me more than any other I read.

If one was to dress in a cloak and wand and pretend to be a wizard, short of poking an eye out there is a limited amount of danger that could occur.

If a young woman with no experience of BDSM was to make her way into the community and play with an older man when she herself was unaware of her own limits, very terrible things can happen, as demonstrated recently in Philadelphia. Comparing Fifty Shades to Harry Potter is simply ludicrous, on many levels. There are many different layers and elements to BDSM, starting at fluffy handcuffs and ending in blood, tears and rape. Someone pretending to be a wizard will not experience these things.

The second point made by the same commenter was that James never intended for the novel to be so popular, it was released for a very small audience only and she was surprised at the reaction it has received. I don’t think this argument holds much weight either. I’m writing this article for the consumption of a very small audience too. I do not expect many people to read or react to it. Does that excuse me from factual accuracy? Not at all. If my article goes viral and thousands of people read it then I am still responsible for the words that I have put out there.

Finally, I want to reiterate that a huge majority of people in the BDSM community recognise our vulnerability (BDSM is actually illegal in the United States - yes, illegal - I’m fortunate to live in the UK) and as such, instances such as the “Philadelphia Incident” are rare. Most people play by the rules of RACK. Most people are responsible for themselves, for their partners, and there is a strong sense of ‘mentoring’ to ensure that newbies to the community are watched and are able to learn from those with more experience. Despite all this, it’s too easy for things to be taken just that one step too far with disastrous results.

I feel like it is my responsibility as one of the people who bridges the gap between the BDSM community and the Fifty Shades readership to speak out against the practices shown in the series. Please, please - if you are a single woman who has read these stories and wants to explore the topics contained therein, do everything you can to not follow in the footsteps of both E L James’ characters and the young girl in Philadelphia. Take your time. Find someone you can trust. Be safe. 

(Please feel free to re-blog, re-post, re-tweet, link, copy, plagiarize, do whatever the hell you want with the above. It would be nice if you credited it back to me but in truth, if you want to stick this somewhere else where it might be seen by more people, please, do it. I’m not precious. Spread the word.) 

This is a Robert Pattinson appreciation post. I enjoy his existence. (I'm laughing SO hard right now.)

NPR’s Linda Holmes reviews Twilight Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1 (via diandrabird)

It’s one thing to have a bruise or two afterwards when you’re experienced in sex—maybe because you indicated to your partner that you like it rough—and another thing to look really beaten up after losing your virginity on your wedding night.

By eliding over the actual sex, ostensibly to be more “appropriate,” Meyer effectively normalizes abuse in a way that’s really inappropriate.

—-

If my laptop had a “THIS” key, it would have fallen off the keyboard from this post alone.

(via hermionejg)

Shit, same here. I feel like I already reblogged this but I don’t care. That commentary needs to be reblogged and read by everyone.

(via saynathespiffy)

This is already on my blog five times.

ALWAYS REBAGEL.

(via waitressingwonder)

Yes, it’s about sparkly vampires and werewolves fighting over a girl. Yes, normal vampires don’t sparkle..I get it. As a Twilight fan, I’ve heard it all.

Why do Harry Potter fans and Hunger Games fans, etc, bash on it so much? It’s a different genre, so it’s not like it’s competing with HP. That would be a bit different.

It’s the haters of the saga that make Twilight fans embarassed to be Twilight fans. And the books are so much better than the movies. And give it a chance before you hate and call it gay. It’s not gay.

We all have different intrests, deal with it and accept me for who I am instead of judging me for what I like.

Oh, and for the record, I am a Hunger Games fan too.

nose-stuck-in-a-bookk.tumblr.com

You’re right… it’s not gay… it’s paedophilia. 

People wouldn’t hate it so much if it wasn’t so problematic against women’s rights and the whole pedophilia issue.

Don’t forget the abusive relationship part.

Yes, OP has rather missed the point. Sparkly vampires are inherently silly, sure, but that’s not the problem. I like a lot of silly things myself! You want to read about a sparkly vampire love story, I won’t stop you.

My problem with Twilight, and why I (and a whole lot of other people) ‘hate on it’ is the sexism, racism, glorification of abusive relationships, thinly veiled religious propaganda, highly questionable morality on the part of the protagonists, constant undermining of women’s rights, worrying subtext on vital and complex issues such as rape and abortion, and the fact that all this shit is aimed at pre-teen girls.

The fact that there might be young people growing up today who think that removing your girlfriend’s car engine so that she can’t visit her friend is a romantic gesture, scares me.

The fact that a guy falls in love with a baby and then grooms her throughout infancy to love him, even giving her a ‘promise ring’ when she is still a child and this is seen as a healthy relationship, scares me.

The fact that at one point two of the male ‘heroes’ have a conversation about forcibly knocking a girl out with drugs and aborting her baby without her consent, scares me.

The fact that this series of books is so popular really fucking scares me. As someone who has read all of them, I have nothing but anger and contempt for the series. So no, I won’t ‘judge you for what you like’. I will however, continue judging the shit out of these books, and I will not stop openly speaking out about how terrible and damaging they are.

^

Thank You

Thank You

Thank You

no, we won’t stop hating on this. thanks for trying.

^^^^^^^

I will never not reblog this. Thank you so fucking much for saying this!!

twilight in a reel of memorable cinema moments

twilight in a reel of memorable cinema moments

twilight in a reel of memorable cinema moments

From John Reviews Twilight and New Moon 

In love with their marriage.

#You can’t hate Rob Pattinson #You think you can hate him for Twilight #But he hates Twilight as much as you do

He’s creeped out by the book, and its author, Stephenie Meyer:

“When I read it … I was convinced that Stephenie was convinced that she was Bella, and … It was like it was a book that wasn’t supposed to be published, like reading her - her sort of sexual fantasy...

brodinsons: