@selfihateyouithink / selfihateyouithink.tumblr.com
please don’t ever try to get my attention by neglecting me because i will alienate myself from you at terminal velocity
also neglecting someone in order to get their attention is incredibly abusive and manipulative so you should definitely stay away from people who do this
There are so many men out there who never stop saying that women are the duplicitous manipulative tricksters, that they can’t be trusted, ‘sorry it’s just true!!’ That they’re always playing mind games, that they’re downright frightening because they’ll use sex to LEAD GUYS ON and then maybe not deliver, which is the worst of all sins!!
But nearly every guy I’ve met has admitted that they’ve at some point full-on deliberately used emotional or mental manipulation to get sex from a girl who was resistant. They’ll play on deep insecurities, batter down defenses, and outright lie about their feelings and intentions. They’ll act like this is just an unavoidable facet of their maleness. Just being a guy, can’t help it, what did you EXPECT.
They’ll betray the trust of girl after girl and never look back.
And in their next breath, they’ll remind you that women as a group just can’t be trusted. Because they wear makeup and push-up bras and sometimes are NICE to you and accept the drink and dinner you freely offered, EVEN THOUGH they don’t want to touch your penis wow!
Like, can you even imagine how hard it must be for straight guys to navigate these risks just to interact with us? Yet those brave souls somehow manage to continuously face the danger by cornering vulnerable isolated scary UNTRUSTWORTHY drunk girls just to continue on their quest to put their dicks in something.
Somebody give these valiant heroes MEDALS.
The absence of an enthusiastic yes, is a no.
The absence of an informed yes, is a no.
The absence of a sober yes, is a no.
The absence of a response, is a no.
The existence of coercion, is a not a yes.
The existence of manipulation, is a not a yes.
The existence of guilt, is a not a yes.
A no is always a no. A yes is only a yes if it stands up by itself, without force or persuasion of any kind.
if you want cas to work with you you bribe him with cookies and world peace not torture ur game is hella weak bartholomew im embarrassed for you
If there's anything this Andy thing has taught me, it's that yes, your identity and your experiences and your attitudes clearly can inform the way you interpret your media, for better or worse.
And shockingly, the straight white dude with a history of impersonation, emotional abuse, and manipulation of all kinds has no problem sympathizing with those types of characters (as long as it's subtle enough for them to get away with it) and justifying their usage of these things in a sexual situation with explicit intended harm, downplaying the fact that that's rape, defending the narrative's excusing it, and using it as another bit of fodder with another rape as textual proof of heterosexuality while gaslighting people who are justifiably furious at this version of events.
Y'all, that's fucking terrifying. We need a bunker away from that kind of person and his supporters (and other people who seriously do not understand consent at all).
LINKS FIXED. (That’s what you get for trusting Tumblr’s html editor.)
Introduction This is a follow up to a previous post. This time I share my own thoughts on Andy based on his own writing and the reports of people who have dealt with him first hand. I am convinced that Andy is building up a little niche for himself in the Destiel part of the Supernatural fandom and that, as before, people will end up hurt. As a fandom, we should take a little responsibility for taking care of each other. In this case, unfortunately, our ability to care for each other is limited to sharing information to ensure that people know who they’re dealing with when it comes to Andrew Blake, aka andythanfiction.
My motivation in doing this is a sense of protectiveness about our corner of fandom. My last post in this blog got just under 400 notes so far and there are thousands of Destiel fans. 400 notes means it’s reached only a tiny fraction of the fandom. This has to reach more people. With every new post there’s a chance of more people seeing it. Please reblog and tag #destiel for maximum visibility.
Andy’s Stories The line I took for the title of my post, “And I’m prouder of that than if I’d simply been ‘good’ from the beginning”, comes from a post of Andy’s here.
Let’s start by unpacking that. Andy doesn’t say he’s ashamed of what he did, he doesn’t say he’s sorry. For every admission in this post, there’s an accusation to cancel it out. He says he has “gotten past it”, “sought help” and therefore he is now “proud”. You know why? Because this overcoming-of-obstacles storyline is just another tale Andy is telling. Stories like that usually end in pride that a person has overcome their problems, and that’s the story Andy wants us to believe. What he has not addressed here is that he was the problem that other people had to overcome. Abbey Stone has a right to be proud; Andy does not.
If you’ve never read this post by Abbey, Andy’s ex-girlfriend and one of the people hurt most by his lies and manipulations, read it now. It details the stories Andy told and wove together in his cult days. Bookshop has written an article on cults as broken RPGs and Andy’s cult was an example of one such broken RPG, where real life and fantasy life blend and people become victims. Andy cons with stories. He’s very good at it. It’s a skill he’s been honing for ten years. And here is the current story in a nutshell: Brave Andy has overcome his own mental illness and the tragic death of the woman he loved and is now just trying to take part in fandom, write his meta and write his fanfiction in peace.
What a touching tale.
What a load of crap.
wow. I don’t pay attention to his personal posts, but there is no way someone can be non-abusive and get so many different people to bear witness to so many diverse kinds of exploitation, manipulation, reality-bending until all they could trust was him and so on. If I understand correctly, there is even a fucking book… Also there are links to his own writing which are shady. Dear people who go to his season-opening party, BE CAREFUL & it’s not too late to change your plans.
destiel fandom, let’s activate our immune system! :)
Do not trust this person.
Do not trust this person.
Do not trust this person.
Do not trust this person.
Guys I just spent an hour of my time (that I should have been using to finish studying for Physio which means THIS IS IMPORTANT). You need to read this entire article, read the links, see how far Andy Blake’s manipulation has gone back (it spans over 10 years). Be careful, Destiel fandom! :(
I actually got an anon ask in my askbox asking my opinion on this person (they must have seen this floating around). I’m not sure why they want my take, but in response to your question, nonnie, this about sums it up.
Do not trust this person. Enjoy them in whatever way you like, but DO NOT TRUST THEM.
The Naomi and/or Crowley of this fandom, friends.
And I'd just like to point out my latest issue with him: a person with a history of impersonation and emotional manipulation downplaying the significance of those things in making a sexual situation rape. (Among the other times in the past he has ignored accusations of and legitimized fictional representations of rape in the series.)
Terrifying? Yeah, I'd fucking say so. Watch yourselves, friends, don't let yourself be taken in by our resident Head Angel and his drill.
