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#i refuse to call them holy hell because they don't want to be that. – @selfihateyouithink on Tumblr
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round and round the winchesters go

@selfihateyouithink / selfihateyouithink.tumblr.com

I am an Angel of the Lord who probably would do well in finance, and I don't like to do what people expect. Thirty-four. White USian. Autistic, anxious depressive (with PTSD). Nonbinary/genderqueer (demigirl). She/they pronouns. Sex-indifferent pan gay greyromantic demisexual. INFP/ISFP. Survivor. Socialist. Feminist. Relativist. Agnostic atheist. Struggling college student (yes, still). Honest misanthrope (because humans are works of art but humanity is tainted by its hatreds, conceits, and deceits), almost never neutral (because the status quo isn't), and unapologetic slasher 'til death do I stop. I am things, I question things, I like things, I hate things, I watch things, I read things, I write things, I say things, I do things. Things happen on this blog.
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Anonymous asked:

So was thinking about Cain being brought up again but /without/ Colette and his ablitity to control the mark was textually states as self-control/power not "power of love", and now if Colette isnt going to be brought up again(and not left out in a it's obvious and important that shes left out way) in 10x14, just hypthetically, what would you think that would mean? that Sam will save Dean hence them reframing Cain/Colette by excluding the romantic love part? Or would that not change anything?

I’m starting to get an itchy feeling that this Colette thing might be the most wasted ink we’ve ever spilled. :P *spills some more since we’ve got a tight deadline for whimsical discussion of one of the heavier weights ever dropped on the story* Because, you know, after so much stress, 90% of my expectation is that no expectations either way will be met at all in 10x14, given we’ve elevated this particular dynamic to such a ridiculous level of importance. :P

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Anonymous asked:

what d o you speculate hannahs storyline on the show's going to be? and what is the journey cas is going to on through hannah that carver teases about?

I think it’s already begun. Hannah is learning from humanity while basically having to be around them and think about them, because Castiel loves them, and about an angel’s understanding of being human (mentored by Cas in how they’re wonderful I promise) and treating humans well, and I think by the end of this season or possibly halfway through the next, she’ll end up as a more humanized angelic leader, a Godstiel 3.0 (Metatron was 2.0) that finally turns out well for Heaven and Earth, when she calls for Castiel to and he refuses (because fuck wearing the coat of loneliness she draped over him any longer).

Either that, or (in the usual sexist vein of the show) she’ll end up, as Crowley might for Dean’s demonhood, dead as a representation of Castiel’s last vestiges of conflict between being an angel or being a human (think, Tessa in 9x22, as a representation of Dean’s desperation to commit #suicide to escape the internal torment but inability to really go through with it himself; women [and secondary characters in general] often die to express the death of a part of the protagonists’ lives, and though I don’t want that to happen to Hannah, I’m not invested enough to care much yet and I am always prepared for the possibility).

The “journey” Cas is going to go on, to me, seems fairly plainly that, after an establishment that, despite the past of how angels treated Cas, there is a part of Heaven that would benefit him to stick with, that feel “unangelic feelings” and wouldn’t abuse him like the rest have/do, a loving sister there who actually cares about him instead of just about his leadership or his loyalty or his obedience—and will eventually care about the things he does in humanity and himself, as well, so will seemingly provide a place for him in Heaven if he can get his Grace back and stick there, he will choose humanity in the sense of being human, and being with Dean (and his friend Sam), no matter how cushy his spot upstairs seems to be. (That, too, has already begun to be foreshadowed.)

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Well, people, I have this friend of mine that was in the private M&G with Jensen Ackles in VanCon this last weekend. She told me some stuff about it and authorized me to tell you something that made her smile.

Since I know things in fandom are difficult these days, I suppose it can make you smile you too, so I decided to actually do it and post it.

Just in case if someone asks:

Has my friend a tumblr account? Yes. Do I trust her? Completely. Will I post her username in my blog? No. Will I tell someone her username privately? No.

Anyway, the thing is she was in this M&G and she was with a very infamous hater of this fandom. I don’t want to name her, because the sole mention of her nickname would bring viruses to my computer haha, but we practically all know her. She likes to say how much Jensen enjoys her inputs of brodependency and how much Jensen agrees with her statements of useless!cas or dean-hates-cas.

Probably she is doing it right now.

And if she does, she is lying.

Let’s say, to summarize, that Jensen Ackles put this person in her place TWICE during his M&G, according to my friend, who was basically and exactly besides them.

First, she started with the whole brodependency speech, and how Sam is the only person for Dean, etc, etc, etc. Jensen Ackles answered her that is really important for Dean to have Castiel and, how much Dean loves having Castiel (literal) and how he wished they’d done more stuff together.

Second, she played the “I’ve heard Castiel thinks Dean is a monster and he wants to kill him cos he doesn’t like him. Is this true?” card and Jensen Ackles answered her with a NO. My friend points out it was a very emphatic “No” as if he was done with that statement.

And that’s it.

I know it’s not much, but it’s a little, and I’m sure this will make you feel better. As usual, I would suggest you not to believe what a hater say, because as is proved in this case, probably it’s not true.

And well… remember Jensen could have been complacent with this person, and he decided against it in a private M&G.

I think it’s cool to share.

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neven-ebrez
Anonymous asked:

[This might sound mysterious," says Carver, "but to me, Season 9 was about choosing the kind of person you wanted to be, like Cas deciding whether to stay human or become an angel again.] It doesn't really make sense to me? Like Cas said "I did what I had to" after snatching Theo's grace, and he said he missed PB&J. And no matter what I don't believe Dean's happy to be a tool to kill. Or that's why Carver says it "sounds mysterious?" I'm really confused here.

Carver likes to think his PR is more clever than it actually is.  Look closer. Carver only points to the question the narrative poses. He doesn’t elaborate on the structure involved. One only need remember the arc phrase, “I did what I had to,” to pull the rest into focus. Our characters have their desires and their “I had to”s, things that are coded as “not the same”.  

Dean: I had to continue to protect Sam because I can’t have anything else (not the life I desired when I was young, nor the best friend who just chose something else over me and is actually, likely, dead) I want. I must cling to this life instead. It has to be all I am because everything else is too painful to be reminded of.

Sam: I had to ask Death to not bring me back because watching my brother destroy himself over me is too much to handle. I want us to be equals, but I don’t know how to make/get him do this. He deserves to be happy because he’s sacrificed so much for me.

Cas: I had to become an angel again because I couldn’t bear to do nothing while my brothers and sisters drive themselves into extinction. I want to do my own thing, to teach my siblings what I didn’t know then, but know I can not teach them this (as I saw myself in season 6).

Season 9 was about choosing “I had to”, not “I want to” (and it looks like Dean will shift to the latter somewhat next season as Sam explores the former in a different light).  Choosing the person you are going to be isn’t the same as choosing the person you really want to be.  It is a choice all the same though, even though our characters do not view it as such.  It is a non-choice to them.  ”Fate” as it were.  Supernatural has always been about choice and tearing through the illusion of “fate”.  It is how the Winchesters stopped the apocalypse and it is how these characters will find themselves once again.  

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Misha's Zap2it Interview

Zap2it: Where do we find Castiel at the start of Season 10? Misha Collins: We find Castiel beginning to try to help with the Dean-as-a-demon problem. But he will also be trying to grapple with his own issues because of his fading grace. Castiel is running on stolen angel grace and it’s fading, which means he’s getting weaker and weaker. His life force is draining out. Those are the two big issues that Castiel is confronted with when we find him in the beginning of Season 10.  Last week you tweeted a photo of you looking pretty beat up and bloody. Is Castiel’s fading grace going to be taking a physical toll on him? Absolutely, yes.  Yikes. Even though you’re a series regular, should we be worried that this could be the end of Castiel? Yes, you should be worried … Isn’t that a good tease? No, Castiel is not going to be dying in the beginning of the season or any of the scripts or stories that I have seen outlined in the first half of the season. To my knowledge, this won’t mean his expiration. But he is getting closer and closer to expiration and weaker and weaker, and less and less of his angel powers are at his disposal.  How will Castiel react to finding out that Dean is a demon, and how will that affect their friendship? It’s definitely driving a very, very large wedge between the two of them. I think that Castiel really doesn’t see Demon Dean as Dean. He sees him as a monster that, one way or another, needs to go.  Jeremy Carver recently told me that Dean and Crowley are going to get closer as a result of Dean being a demon, so how is Castiel going to feel about that new relationship? That’s a good question. I can tell you that Cas isn’t really a fan of Dean becoming a demon. [laughs] And by extension, his fraternizing with Crowley. I think that Castiel’s relationship with Crowley is certainly pretty strained. That said, everybody on the show has made deals with the devil, so to speak, over the years. Castiel is definitely conflicted about the character of Crowley. Can I just leave it at, “It’s complicated”?  Sure, that sounds like a good summation. Near the end of last season, Castiel’s storyline was separate from Sam and Dean’s. Will that continue in the beginning of Season 10 or will we see them join up again? The storylines are going to be interwoven, but there’s also going to be a strong, independent storyline for Castiel in Season 10. I think that that’s actually true of all of the characters in the show. They all have their own, distinct arcs that are not necessarily interdependent [with] the other arcs. It’s a very much more, I would say, personal season than seasons of the past. It feels like we’re dealing less with the massive, epic stories of heaven and hell and more with the personal stories of the characters that we’ve all come to know and love on the show. Those personal stories, each character will have his own storyline.  Do you enjoy it more when you get to play that more personal side of Castiel, or do you enjoy it more when it’s the big, epic storylines where everyone is together? I think that they both have their merits. My favorite is when those two are happening concurrently on the show. I think that’s something that the show does a pretty good job of keeping us grounded in personal storylines. I think that’s why the show has been so successful and has lasted for 10 seasons. At its core, it’s this story of two brothers that are dealing with family issues that we can all relate to, and at the same time, they’re dealing with epic mythology. The fusion of those two scales of storytelling is really compelling and keeps us engaged. I think if we were just watching a show that was about angels and demons and ghouls and goblins and didn’t have that personal, relatable, character story to ground it in, the audience would have left a long time ago.  Speaking of how long the show has lasted, I’m so excited for the 200th episode this season now that Jeremy announced it’s going to be “musical-ish.” Any chance we’ll get to see you sing in the episode? I have yet to see the script for the 200th episode, but I do know that Jeremy has said that it’s “musical-ish.” And I do know the fans have long been clamoring for a “musical-ish” episode. So I can’t wait to read the script and find out exactly what I’ll be doing.  How does it feel knowing that “Supernatural” has reached a milestone like 200 episodes? Not many shows can say they’ve made it that far. It’s kind of surreal. You’re right, not many shows at all can brag that they’ve made it that far. We were calculating recently and I think it’s something like 20 television dramas of all time have made it that far. It’s really amazing. I started working on the show in the first episode of Season 4, and I, as a rational human being, thought, “Well, this is probably pretty close to the end of the series. It maybe has another year left in it.” That’s typical of reasonably successful shows. They’ll go to five seasons and maybe make it to 100 episodes, then they get syndicated and peter out. I don’t think any of us imagined in Season 4 or Season 5 that we were going to make it to Season 10 and 200 episodes. I think that we’re all really happy to have had this long run. It’s really gratifying.  What are you most excited for fans to see from Season 10? I think that Season 10 has the potential of being a very emotionally impactful season and I think that the show is really getting to its roots of being very character-driven and about personal character struggles. I’m excited about that. 

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