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round and round the winchesters go

@selfihateyouithink / selfihateyouithink.tumblr.com

I am an Angel of the Lord who probably would do well in finance, and I don't like to do what people expect. Thirty-four. White USian. Autistic, anxious depressive (with PTSD). Nonbinary/genderqueer (demigirl). She/they pronouns. Sex-indifferent pan gay greyromantic demisexual. INFP/ISFP. Survivor. Socialist. Feminist. Relativist. Agnostic atheist. Struggling college student (yes, still). Honest misanthrope (because humans are works of art but humanity is tainted by its hatreds, conceits, and deceits), almost never neutral (because the status quo isn't), and unapologetic slasher 'til death do I stop. I am things, I question things, I like things, I hate things, I watch things, I read things, I write things, I say things, I do things. Things happen on this blog.
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STOP MAKING DESTIEL FANWORKS BASED ON THE ALLEYWAY SCENE AND PAINTING IT AS A ROMANTIC THING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CASTIEL IS LITERALLY BEATING DEAN ALMOST TO DEATH FOR BEING SUICIDAL AND NOT DOING WHAT CAS WANTS WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU FIND ROMANTIC ABOUT THIS

#Meta#SAME#Castiel#Dean Winchester#Dean.Cas#5x18 Point of No Return#Abuse cw#Suicidal ideation cw#This is like the one fucking thing I will NEVER forgive Cas for#A lot of the ways he hurts Dean and Sam come when he's basically /used/ to hurt them by malicious parties#But this one was purely his choice and he had more than a few different ways to try to help Dean and convince Dean not to#than what he fucking decided he had to do what he didn't stop himself from doing cos he was taught that giving up = punishment#I just#I'll never forgive Castiel for this; it's just infuckingdefensible#and the fact that people romanticize it makes me really angry#(Just as angry as I get when people romanticize/sexualize Megstiel in general)#Still: I do think there needs to be a conversation had about the difference between romanticizing this: Castiel's choice#and romanticizing the crypt scene: Castiel's choice NOT to hurt Dean#Because I think there's a huge difference personally: romanticizing the fact that no matter how hard Naomi pushed Castiel#to kill Dean he stalled and begged and absolutely outright declared that [if it were his choice] HE WOULDN'T HURT DEAN#and the fact that Dean's love broke the control (though I will forever glare at this trope in general) IS a romantic trope#(particularly when it's not between 'family')#Honestly romanticizing the alley scene is romanticizing abuse: that's not fucking negotiable#But romanticizing the crypt scene is romanticizing Castiel's growth: that angels fought to make him 5x18 Cas as hard as they could#and he absolutely REFUSED TO HURT DEAN and fought hard not to until Dean's love pulled him out of it#8x17 Goodbye Stranger#QUIT IT FANDOM#Supernatural#Fandom is#Fandom
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flutiebear

In defense of season 6

I feel like this needs saying: Season 6 wasn’t stupid. Dean going to live with Lisa and Ben, trying to have a family – that wasn’t stupid either, or meaningless, or unnecessary. It was about adulthood, and what that means, what it really means.

I mean, I have to wonder if the negative reaction stems from the fandom’s fairly young demographic. Like – and let me be clear, I hate it when people say this – but maybe those fans were just too young to get it?

But they will.

Because, one day, your parents will die. Or worse: they won’t, and you’ll wish that they had. But they live, and you live, and you all must live with the knowledge that you’re not a kid anymore, that something has broken between you, something precious that was never meant to be saved, and nothing will ever be whole between you again.

They call it growing up, but maybe they should call it growing apart, for it’s the ties that bind that always unravel at the seams. And so we fall away from one another, no longer bound by the roles we play, the ones we were handed at the moment of birth, but as individuals, discrete and free.

Sam and Dean start Season 1 as boys and end Season 5 as men. But Sam at least has the luxury of martyrdom: He may become an adult, but he doesn’t have to live as one. Not like Dean.

And he struggles with what that means –as do we all. But one thing is true for everyone: One day, in between your parents dying or not dying, you realize it doesn’t really matter, because you’re an orphan anyway; and suddenly you realize you ache for a family of your own, something to fill the gaping mother and father-sized holes shredded into your heart.

And when that day happens, then and only then you will understand why Dean Winchester shows up on Lisa’s doorstep.

Maybe you’ll also understand why it was never going to work.

Partly because the families we make can’t fill the holes left by the families that left us behind: All they can do is to smooth over the edges and by the comfort of numbers make the loss more bearable.

But partly also because Lisa and Ben weren’t the family that Dean made. They were the one he forced himself into. And the reality is you don’t so much choose your new family as fall into it, the weight of inevitability bringing friends and lovers together, like planets tugged into line by the gravity of stars. Dean already had a new family, and the Braedens weren’t it.

But that doesn’t make his actions stupid, or meaningless, or unnecessary. And it doesn’t mean the story shouldn’t be told. Because even though some loves were never meant to last forever, you tell their stories anyway, because it’s their very impermanence that matters so much to the ones left behind. You tell these stories anyway, even though you know the ending, even though you see it coming from a mile away, because you know how it feels; because in the end, we are all orphans, straining toward the holes in our own hearts, filling them however we can.

After all, that’s what adulthood is all about.

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river-song-stole-the-impala:
eastcollins:
ask-leviathancas:
balthazars-wings:
underdogwritesporn:
ialwayscomewhenyoucall:
CAN WE FOCUS ON DEAN RIGHT NOW. EPIC EYE FUCKING.

Jensen and Misha are horriblely fcking awesome humans!

Sam is like ‘Fine. I dont want to look at you anyways, jerk.’

you can practically hear dean’s thought process in that top panel. xD

“i always forget how good-looking this guy is when he’s not around. man. look at him. should probably be paying attention to what sam is saying but damn. his eyes are ridiculous. would i tap that?”

bottom gif:

“…yeah, i’d tap that.”

STURGEON FACE

Sam knows. 

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Wow, this is accurate for today. I even read Newspeak as Net-speak. So I called attention to the problem based upon that. This is why when someone IMs me with "what's up" as their greeting of choice I answer very literally to mock their choice of words (usually with 'the ceiling' or 'the sky'). This is why I find it very difficult to accept things like 'dum' or 'wat' or 'hmu' or 'u mad' and why I am having constant conversations over those types of things with people who think I'm crazy and anal and might be right. I JUST WANT ENGLISH TO STAY THE WAY IT IS. I don't want it to be miniaturized until nobody even thinks to say things like "I'm confused" or "I'll be around if you want to talk to me later" or "The idiocy of that astounds me" or "Ludicrous and lame, sir, please stop talking about this" or "It sounds like this might be bothering you". Or the endless amounts of words that disappear into net-speak. Is it such a crime, really, to expect those people you talk to to actually put some thought and effort into their conversations with you, even if it requires a few more letters and a couple more seconds of consideration? To perpetuate a diverse English by trying to beat back all diminutive replacements of explanatory versions of complex concepts? Based on the reactions, I could guess it is, but you know what? I commit it proudly.  I'm not saying net-speak has to poof disappear as though it never existed and we should all return to speaking as though we're trying to impress a professor. I'm just saying that interspersing it with actual, well-thought-out words and phrases gets so much more across and shows a responsibility, maturity, appreciation, consideration and intellectual presence in the conversation that mere net-speak doesn't quite.  By the way, I thank with all of myself all of the people I talk to who know and do this already. You make it so much easier to deal with those who don't get it. ♥

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