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#demon dean x angel cas – @selfihateyouithink on Tumblr
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round and round the winchesters go

@selfihateyouithink / selfihateyouithink.tumblr.com

I am an Angel of the Lord who probably would do well in finance, and I don't like to do what people expect. Thirty-four. White USian. Autistic, anxious depressive (with PTSD). Nonbinary/genderqueer (demigirl). She/they pronouns. Sex-indifferent pan gay greyromantic demisexual. INFP/ISFP. Survivor. Socialist. Feminist. Relativist. Agnostic atheist. Struggling college student (yes, still). Honest misanthrope (because humans are works of art but humanity is tainted by its hatreds, conceits, and deceits), almost never neutral (because the status quo isn't), and unapologetic slasher 'til death do I stop. I am things, I question things, I like things, I hate things, I watch things, I read things, I write things, I say things, I do things. Things happen on this blog.
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One Minute in Hell is Worth Seven in Heaven

Dean fears what he might taste when he kisses him.

It’s something Castiel has known for a while, something that makes Dean close his mouth when his lips touch Castiel’s, something that makes him leave open, sucking marks that swell his vessel’s flesh everywhere but there.

He can’t protest this, even though he loathes the shamed face Dean shows, when Castiel pokes his tongue against them and he immediately backs off. He can’t be sure he would be comfortable inhaling the smoke—cannot even be sure he would not hurt Dean mixing with him in this way.

But he wants to wipe that face out of Dean’s repertoire. It is the first time that he can remember feeling a demon should not be hated for its nature, but this feeling persists nonetheless.

“Come here,” he whispers, when Dean and Sam return from another hunt, loudly quarreling as usual about the things both and neither will do for the job. Demonic abilities are useful; potential unplanned exorcisms are not. And the Winchesters are by nature too reckless sometimes.

Sam glances at Castiel and then watches Dean’s face, sees it change as does Castiel simultaneously. His eyes flick black once and then back, and he slides a glance toward Sam, clocking whatever that look he’s sending him means, before a pleasant enticement of an expression Castiel sees often drags itself slowly onto his features. His hair is sweaty and his shirt is ripped and he looks tired, but he comes to Castiel far more easily than a demon should to an angel, always, no matter what.

“Missed me, huh?” he murmurs, soft and deadly, a lure in every sense from head to toe when he wants to be—befitting his species, but in a way so specific to Dean Castiel cannot fathom what he’d do if the eyes beckoning weren’t that familiar shade of green.

Castiel catches a glimpse of Sam’s rolling eyes over Dean’s shoulder and quickly turns back to smile at his lover as the door closes behind the younger Winchester, honestly happy to see him. Sam will be gone an hour at least; their routine is very sound by this point.

“I did.” Simply, quietly, he confirms Dean’s half-serious flirtation. Dean is thrown off a mite by this, though he recovers admirably fast.

“Enough to give me a ‘gee, Dean, glad you didn’t die yet’ passionate movie makeout?” Dean’s boldness is endearing, but he lies. (Again, Castiel smiles privately to himself, befitting his species, that he so despises.)

“Enough to offer far more than that.” His eyebrows rise, expectant, and Dean smirks, closing in on Castiel’s “personal space”. (He has never had the issue with it Dean has; from very early on in their acquaintance, he enjoyed the thrill of intimacy.)

“Well then,” he says against Castiel’s mouth, and tamping down his grace is quite worth the sensitivity to being physically loved by this demon. His mouth tingles as Dean’s moves over it, skillful with the small allowances he makes, from corner to corner in small, light kisses. Hands holding the lapels of his overcoat, Dean lips at his bottom lip until it’s almost burning with feeling. Not once does his mouth open, and by the time he goes to slip down to Castiel’s neck with those dedicated lips, Castiel has had enough.

“I want more than this, Dean,” he says, low and firm, dropping his vessel’s hands to Dean’s hips and snagging him further into Castiel’s space, so there’s centimeters or less between them. Dean laughs, joy and taunting in the sound.

“Working on it, angel.” Dropping to Castiel’s jaw, he bites there, and Castiel has to force his grace down as his being unfurls with a sudden burst of feeling, but he stops Dean, regardless.

“No,” and Dean jerks up so fast he’d hurt mere men with how their faces collide, his eyes narrowed.

“No? You’re mixing your signals here, buddy,” Calmly amused though he might seem, his restraint fades with the shock and his eyes fully darken for a minute or longer before he controls himself again. Castiel is very grateful sometimes for this particular indicator.

Leaning in, reassuring, he drapes his hands over Dean’s shoulders, curls fingers over the back of his neck.

“No to your firmly closed lips, Dean Winchester,” he says, directly staring, watching Dean’s unblinking response, feeling Dean startle under his hands. Dean likely hadn’t realized he’d noticed—or even that he’d been doing this.

Castiel will not humor his ignorance. For good or for ill, he wants to taste Dean, once at least.

“Is this your way of telling me to scream your name more?” Dean asks, sharp, defending himself. Castiel smiles, fond of this walking horror with a hesitant heart.

He shakes his head, removes all space between them until their noses brush and Dean’s eyes are too close to meet.

“This is my way of saying I want your tongue in my mouth,” he says, clearly, making sure he is not misunderstood. Dean gasps a bit, and wonderfully, his breath does not repulse where it puffs onto Castiel’s lips.

“But, Cas, you don’t…I’m a—” Dean almost never says the word. When he can, he surely likes to forget.

“I know what you are, Dean, but it isn’t of import. Who you are makes me want to kiss you, sharing breath, an intimate act I never had the taste for before.”

Dean trembles, barely noticeable except for Castiel feeling it through his fingers. He would read Dean’s mind, but he has promised not to, and honors that promise as much as he can. “Might be bad for you,” he warns, but Castiel remains undeterred. This will happen.

Dean apparently grasps his determination and sighs, nodding. “Okay. Okay, yeah, sure. We can do that.”

Castiel rubs at the shortest hairs on Dean’s neck, soothing him—hopefully. “Please, Dean,” he asks, nearly silently, drawing away to give Dean room to instigate.

And instigate he does. Beginning with the tactic from before, he sets Castiel’s lips tingling again, and then pokes them with his tongue, too gentle, worsening the sensation until it’s nigh unbearable. By the time Castiel is prepared to part his lips, the combination of Dean’s ministrations and Castiel’s purposefully stifled grace has him panting, sharply, through his nose. His entire body is heated, moistening beneath his vessel’s choice of plain cotton underwear, hard and solid near Dean’s thigh.

And then Dean opens his mouth, and tugs Castiel’s lip between his two, pulls at it and slides, tender, along its soft line. Castiel’s mouth falls agape, and his being curls up, balled like a miniature sun inside his vessel with delight.

Dean works a little faster, lips barely apart but moving over Castiel’s mouth, catching his lips and gripping tight, leaving them swelling (and he would not at all deign to heal them, not from this, not yet). Castiel’s hands start to shake as everything inside him reacts, and by the time Dean allows their mouths open both at once and their tongues touch for the first time, Castiel’s been lifted so high he could almost end from that first jolt of wet tip on wet tip.

He nearly does, relaxing almost into a slump, his wings lazily brushing the floor unseen, as Dean coaxes his tongue into a dance foreign to him, out of their mouths enough that he can’t quite taste yet but still drifting across, muscle on muscle, overcome in waves by the novel stimuli that Castiel’s being cries out with feeling.

He makes a noise, unrestrained, in his throat, and it makes Dean’s eyes open, the green hazy, focused but not entirely grounded. Dean tugs away his tongue to smile, and miraculously, it only fades a little when he leans back in, this time working their tongues by degrees back into Castiel’s mouth. Charcoal and copper, minuscule particles of smoke like that off an altar, brush past his open lips into his mouth, and it doesn’t stop him for a moment, as he grips Dean closer, fingertips digging into his upper back, so close their legs are split around the other’s and Dean’s nudges him low: harmless, elongated torture. The taste is not entirely desirable, but when Castiel gives as much as he’s getting, pushing Dean’s lips wide and licking deeply, stroking Dean’s tongue, Dean starts to choke out noises with it until Castiel’s throat is full of them, and that wonder makes the taste a nonexistent priority.

“Mm, nngh,” Dean breathes over his lips, when they finally separate. Castiel’s eyelids lift as slowly as Dean’s did before, and Dean looks pleased by whatever they are communicating to him, seems to lose all his previous reluctance as he shoves back into Castiel’s mouth with aplomb until both of them are, again, panting.

Castiel lifts Dean at the hips, so that those strong bowlegs automatically circle his waist and the walk to the bed is perhaps three steps at most. He presses down as they lie on the bed’s softness, touches the blanket beneath and cleans it for Dean’s comfort, rolls his lower body again and again until Dean’s eyes are squeezed shut, nearly pained, and he’s groaning, “Fuck, Cas.

Indeed. That is where the evening is likely headed. The mechanics are as yet unsure, but fucking will occur, and so will more “making out”—Castiel thinks, enormously satisfied by this accomplishment as he mouths over Dean’s bottom lip, eagerly, pushing them both into another kiss that lasts through the gasping breaths at grinding hips.

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What if Dean'd been a demon when Cas found him in S4?

Castiel finds him flayed.

Alastair laughs at him when he takes the demon out of that place in Hell, out of the darkest realms where the High Inquisitor holds court. He can hear the laugh behind him as he grabs onto the smoke, nearly extinguishes it with grace, and leaves, flying up and out and far, far away.

The demon protests with screams being sewn back into his body; Castiel wonders how righteous a man can be if he fights the work of angels. If he becomes a demon—beyond broken, scarred and burnt and without solidity.

The demon forgets, until its blade is dug into the chest of Castiel’s vessel. Jimmy winces behind Castiel’s consciousness, and Castiel sets him to sleep, watching Dean’s human visage carefully. He’ll heal, and Dean’s adjustment is far more important.

“Get the hell out of here, there’s no such thing.” The demon says, tone gruffer than the slyness of his kind. Castiel knows he can see more than he acknowledges. He isn’t sure why Dean resists, but that will end soon enough.

“We have work for you,” he asserts, staring undeterred into Dean where black smoke twists.

666

“He almost killed me, and man. He should’ve.” Dean says to the night, and Castiel tries hard not to hear it—these emotions Dean has somehow held onto are ill-understood and distracting.

Invisible, he rests against the other side of Dean’s car. He had not stayed with Dean for too long, and counts himself lucky in the face of his superiors’ rage that Sam spared the demon’s life. No one has ever really briefed him on the protocol of retrieving a demon after death.

‘The Righteous Demon’ doesn’t have the same gravitas. Human languages are diverse, however; English is perhaps limited. He’ll find other words, other symbols, to denote Dean’s importance and quell his doubts.

Dean is shaking, his countenance visibly soured. Castiel asks himself and his Father once again, silently, why. Why ask this of him and of this demon? He decides quickly, as ever, that it isn’t his place to ask, but still, he wonders.

“Doesn’t even know I knew that was Ruby,” the demon spits, and Castiel pays attention again. A conflict between the brothers over another demon will hold much significance. He listens to Dean’s diatribe with intent.

666

“I have questions. I have doubts.” He reveals to Dean. With another demon—any other—this kind of intimacy would mean death, dismemberment, or defeat of some kind. Trusting Dean is as daunting as trusting anyone with the fact that he, an angel, wonders of Heaven’s righteousness. He does, nevertheless.

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