Dean + being adorable

literally the only shippy/sexual implication I think you can take away from last night’s ep without being a total arsehole is that it’s now canon Dean thinks people being confrontational with him is hot

Can I try to explain why I see both the problems and the advantages of the shippy parallels?

#i love that even the writers and showrunner forgets that we skipped two years #great job on your continuity guys

I love that the writers still think jokes about the stupid “Mayan apocalypse” are hiiiiiii-larious and not at all problematic when uttered by a white middle-American intellectual who clearly had the resources and education to know what an obvious colonialist and baseless stereotype it was in the first place.

Okay so maybe this joke wasn’t as bad as the crapfest that was the entire episode of “Heartache”, but still, I’m just sick of SPN randomly and for no good reason misrepresenting Mayan history. Give it a rest. Your joke about the “Mayan apocalypse” wasn’t funny the first 10,000 times we heard it, and it’s not funny now.

I'm sorry

but in the preview

dean is sliding away

and it looks like the mirror of cas from the end of 8x03

what if they were holding onto each other

and were both

dragged

away

Dean let go... and yet he didn't (a theory)

So based on a number of amazing observations made by dustydreamsanddirtyscars (see here), here’s my theory on what happened in Purgatory:

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So I think I finally put my finger on why this short scene annoyed me so much: It means that Sam never told Amelia about Hunting. Or Jess. Or, well, anything.

I mean, of course Sam has never seen a birthday cake before, or a picnic, or a pretty girl waiting for him with a dog. When would he have ever had the chance to? With Jess? (Doubtful, as this isn’t the kind of romance most college kids have the funds or free time or inclination to indulge in.) With Dean? (Dean’s idea of fun was lighting stuff on fire.) With his Dad? (John’s idea of Thanksgiving was a “bucket of extra crispy”, so…)

And of course Sam would freak the fuck out at not being able to find Amelia, if even for a minute. After eight years essentially living in a combat zone, his mind probably raced to all the worst possible conclusions to explain her disappearance: monsters, demons, Levis, Crowley.

So that Amelia expresses such disbelief about the cake, and that she even sets up this vanishing act that’s pretty much guaranteed to give Sam a panic attack, it  means one of two things.

One: She knows about Hunting and why he left it, and she set all this up anyway, because she’s self-absorbed and thoughtless. And I don’t buy it, if for no other reason than Sam is too used to being the special one, the one who needs to be accommodated, the one at the center of a nurturer’s attention. He’d never go for a woman self-absorbed enough to prioritize her own idea of a Special Surprise(TM) over his own particular trauma and mental baggage.

So if she did know, and she did all this anyway? Okay haters, finally, there’s a good reason not to like Amelia.

But what I find far more likely than this (especially since we’ve seen Sam do it once before) is the second explanation: She doesn’t know, because Sam hasn’t told her.

Which means Sam still hasn’t learned his goddamned lesson.

Despite what romcoms tell you, you can’t fall in love with someone who keeps secrets about who they are. You can fall in love with your idea of who that person is. But not the actual person.

By not telling Amelia about Hunting, it means he hasn’t told her about his childhood, or Jess’s death, or why he has no family left, or why he has no friends either, or his thoughts on God and the afterlife, or the trauma of Hell and combat, or how he saved the world once, or how he became a blood junkie, or his relationship with Ruby, his greatest sins, his greatest triumphs, the past eight years of his life. He hasn’t told her one goddamned thing that matters about who he is. Amelia can’t be in love with Sam. She doesn’t know who Sam is.

And I get that by not telling her, Sam wants to believe that he is separate from Hunting, that he isn’t defined by the job, that he is more than Hunting. But there’s a reason they call it The Life, and not just the Part-Time Job. Whether he likes it or not, Hunting made Sam into the man he is today, and it’s time he accepted that already and moved on.

I mean, even Lisa knew what Dean had once been. Even she knew he needed to set Devil’s Traps and salt every doorway, and sleep with a jar of holy water under the bed at night. It wasn’t a perfect relationship, not by any stretch of the imagination — hell it was doomed to fail pretty much from the start — but at least Lisa knew who the fuck Dean was.

If he doesn’t tell Amelia about Hunting, then that means Sam isn’t being honest with her. He’s trying to have his cake and eat it too.

I mean, I really don’t think Sam wouldn’t tell Amelia about Hunting because he’s afraid she’d leave, though I’m sure that’s part of it. I think Sam wouldn’t tell because he genuinely believes that Hunters don’t deserve love or happiness. How else do you expect a kid internalize his mother’s death (which he caused), or his father’s neverending grief over it, or the fact that his father always told him just that,you can’t have a normal life? That kid would put two and two together, and say “I don’t have a normal life because Hunters don’t deserve it, so if I want to have a normal life, I have to cut out every part of me that ever was associated with Hunting”.

And so it goes — whenever he strikes out on his own, first thing Sam does is try to excise any part of him associated with Hunting, before he pursues a normal life.

Which, okay, I get it. But he did this with Jess. AND SHE BURNED ON THE CEILING FOR IT. That dishonesty, those secrets — that’s what got Jess killed just as much as Azazel’s plan. An ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure… if Sam had just told her something, anything about how to protect herself, she might’ve had a chance at survival. So yeah, her death is on him and his screw-ups, and it’s a major reason — maybe the biggest reason — why he struggles to move on from her for so long.

SO WHY DOES HE TURN AROUND AND DO THE SAME THING WITH AMELIA

WHY SAMMY

WHY

LEARN FROM YOUR GODDAMNED MISTAKES BOY

RARRRRGH

he had lived centuries all alone… but I don’t think he could bear the thought of life without me

#fuckin #get out #these fucking parallels this is like repo man all over again how am i supposed to deal with this

> appropriates mayan culture and mythology > casts white guy as mayan god

ok, supernatural

ok. 

STARRING EXOTIC ANGEL FIRE

I SEE NOTHING BUT GAY HERE

okay does anyone else remember what dean was like when he hunted alone??

it was tERRIFYING I DON’T WANT THAT AGAIN HE NEEDS SOMEONE IF NOT SAMMY THEN CAS