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#for someone perhaps – @seenashwrite on Tumblr
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@seenashwrite / seenashwrite.tumblr.com

Failed Southern belle. Likely older than you. Vulgar wench. Sweaty try-hard. Wannabe script doctor. Vigilant newb. Fifteen pieces of flair. Potty mouth. Your fave. Plus, I'm incredibly funny. And humble. 18+ Followers only, please. I no longer take requests via anon due to lack of follow-ups letting me know it was seen & appreciated. **ON HIATUS** 🌟 MOBILE MASTER LIST 🌟
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Anonymous asked:

Do you know, is there a term for when a writer uses a description of a character instead of a pronoun before the word said? For example, the blonde man said, or the younger of the two asked and so on. I have seen this a lot in fanfic, especially after it’s already established that, say Sam and Dean are having a convo and every time Sam speaks instead of just saying Sam asked or whatever they describe Sam and not in a good “show vs tell” way. Does this even make sense?

No, no, no, I’m tracking with you, and have noticed this as well. If there is a term for this specifically, then I don’t know it - others are welcome to chime in - but regardless, I think it’s a poor stylistic choice. It clutters things up, and it’s nonessential info, not to mention - like you point out - particularly unneeded in the world of fanfic with relation to the characters we all know well (and I’ll say 99% of the time, there’s possibly exceptions, I hate using “always”-es and “never”-s when it comes to this stuff).

I can see it happening before a new/original character is properly introduced, a la, “Dean had noted the blond man eyeing them off-and-on ever since they’d walked into the bar.” And then later, they find out it’s a hunter named Greg who needs their help with XYZ. He’s no longer Blond Stranger Dude, he’s Greg. So call him Greg. If he’s with a younger guy that was also observed, then - “Dean had noted the two men eyeing them off-and-on since they’d walked into the bar. The tall blond with a scar down his cheek was subtle, but the younger one was more obvious, nervousness written all over him.” –> that didn’t just tell me appearance, that told me some key things about their personalities, too, and did it quickly. There’s a nice show vs. tell, folks - any time you can convey info through (A) a character’s perspective or (B) dialogue or (C ) action verbs, do it. Don’t list the snow on the trees and the temperature on the phone, tell me that they were shivering and that ice crunched under their boots and that the sun was barely pushing through the clouds. I’ll know it’s daytime and winter and freezing cold because of what you’ve just shown me, I don’t need you to tell me. Treat your readers like the intelligent people they are. I’ve digressed. But yes, once they’re Greg and Pete, we’re done in that who’s-saying-what respect.

With Dean and Sam in particular - and any character in any given fandom - this is just tiresome. A friend mentioned to me once how much they loathe “the younger Winchester” and “the elder Winchester” said/did XYZ. Like, we know. WE KNOW. I mean, who randomly goes “I shall now read a fanfic about a show I’ve never seen and know nothing about”? Nobody… okay, 99%. Just stare into his eyes, we know they’re green. Just say you could tell by his tired eyes how exhausted he was, we know they’re hazel. If someone else is observing them, if we’re coming from a new person’s perspective, then sure, initially they can be the tall one with the long hair, and the older one in the leather jacket. Or whatever. But you’re right - once “I’m Dean” and “I’m Sam” happens, we’re done.

What I suspect is happening is that writers think they’re offering variety, trying to keep away from constantly going “he said” / “said [name]” (and of course, beyond “said”, all the other verbalizing words - “exclaimed”, “shouted”, etc.). But there’s no need. And we could go down that road if someone ever asks me for tricks as to how to not be repetitive in that regard, but in any event, that’s what my gut feeling is, that they believe it staves off stagnation when in reality it’s more distracting than anything.    

Hope this helps… well with what, I dunno… I guess let you know you’re not off your rocker? [hee-hee-hee] You’re not. I feel you, and I bet money others reading this are like “Oh yeah, me too”. 😉

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