If I Knew Then - Chapter One
Here it is, the first chapter of the Frozen Jewel MC I’ve been working on! And even though this is a very obscure ship, I am so excited about this story! I have it all outlined, and oh boy, talk about angst . . . and slow burn. But mostly angst. Yes, it’s in the universe of GBtBR, but I am trying really hard to write it in a way that it can stand alone. (Since GBtBR and all its one shots will be taken down June 1st.) But for those of you who read and enjoyed GBtBR, this will explain more of the back story with everyone during their high school years and show the progression of Elsa and Liam’s relationship. But mainly I am excited to write a story from Elsa’s point of view, especially in this universe. I relate to her so much, so this is dear to my heart.
just because I know you’re a Frozen Jewel shipper. Anyone else wanting to be tagged, just let me know.
Trigger warning: attempted rape of a minor – and I know, that sounds really heavy. But if you know my writing, you know I handle scenes like this with as much seriousness and sensitivity as possible. But yeah, things are heavy right from the start.
Fourteen year old Elsa Arendelle stood in front of her full length mirror, tugging on the navy blue and white pleated skirt that only hit her mid-thigh. She tilted her head as she ran her hand over the white stitched letters that said “SHS” for Storybrooke High. Her hand shook slightly and she wet her lips nervously.
Suddenly, the door burst open and her twelve year old sister Anna launched herself on Elsa’s bed, already talking a mile a minute. “Oh my God, you look so cute! You are soooo lucky that you made varsity cheerleader as a freshman. I mean, how can you not be popular showing up on the first day in your uniform?”
Elsa glanced at her sister with a nervous smile. “I’m not so sure about that. I mean, I feel sort of silly. And I still can’t believe I made the squad.”
“Are you kidding? Mom and dad have been paying for gymnastics and dance lessons practically since you could walk.”
Elsa sighed as she plopped down on the bed next to Anna. “Maybe so, but I’m not exactly the perky type. I keep waiting for the coaches to tell me they made a mistake. You’re more the cheerleader type than I am.”
Anna arched her brows as she pointed to her chest. “Me? Miss clumsy? Do you remember the one time I tried to take a gymnastics class?”
Elsa laughed at the memory. “You got stuck upside down on the uneven bars and started crying.”
Anna laughed too. “And that one ballet class I took? I kept going in the wrong direction and crashing into the other dancers.”
Elsa was lying flat on her back down, laughing so hard she was crying. “I think you broke that one girl’s nose.”
“What are you two doing in here?”
Elsa and Anna leapt to their feet at the sound of their mother’s voice, but she was standing in the doorway smiling at the two of them. She shook her head.
“I’m leaving to drive you to school in ten minutes Anna, are you ready?” A honk sounded from outside. “And Elsa, that’s Liam to drive you to the high school.”
Anna slumped dramatically against Elsa’s side as if she were fainting. “And a junior to drive you to school! How do you get all the luck?”
Elsa rolled her eyes as she grabbed her backpack and dashed for the stairs. “Please Anna, it’s just Liam and Killian. We’ve known them since I was five.”
Elsa dashed for the door, pecking her father on the cheek on her way. “Tell those boys no one honks for my daughters,” he grumbled in reply.
Elsa laughed as she yanked open the front door. “They’re driving me to school, dad, not to the prom.”
She dashed across the yard towards Liam’s beat up, light blue Toyota. She was surprised when she opened the back door to find Killian slouched in the back seat. He glanced sardonically up at her through his dark hair that was in sore need of a haircut.
“Liam said to be a gentleman and give you the front seat.”
Elsa rolled her eyes at him as she opened the front door. “Gee, Killian, don’t be so gallant. You might hurt yourself.”
Liam laughed as he pulled away from the curb. “My little brother’s just in one of his moods.”
“That’s younger brother, and forgive me if I’m not exactly thrilled about attending the same school as the perfect Liam Jones.”
“You survived elementary school,” Liam replied with a roll of his eyes. He looked over then at Elsa. “You look great. Maybe too great. I don’t want to have to beat anyone up on the first day.”
“Ha ha, whatever,” Elsa said, but she couldn’t stop a blush from rising to her fair cheeks. She turned in her seat to look back at Killian. “Can I see your schedule?”
He shrugged, reached in his book bag, and then handed it to her. Elsa’s eyes lit up when she glanced over it.
“We’ve got first and fourth together. I’m so relieved! I hate walking in alone.”
Killian grinned back with a genuine smile and a sparkle in his blue eyes. “And fourth means we have the same lunch. Eating alone is a teenager’s worst nightmare.”
“I don’t know, Killy,” Liam teased, “Elsa may not want to sully her reputation.”
“And . . . there it is,” Killian scowled, “not to mention if you call me Killy in public, I swear the whole school will know that you wet the bed in fifth grade.”
Elsa clapped her hand over her mouth to stop her laughter from spilling out. Liam gripped the steering wheel tighter as he glared at his brother. “That was one time,” he bit out, glancing over at Elsa as a blush stained his cheeks, “and I drank a lot of soda.”
The teasing between the Jones brothers was forgotten though as Liam pulled up to Storybrooke High. Elsa swallowed nervously as she leaned closer to the window.
“Well,” Killian muttered from the back seat, “here we go, Elsa.”
Liam parked the car and the three of them scrambled out. Elsa was surprised when Liam came around to carry her backpack. He slung his arm around her and squeezed her in a tight side hug.
“Don’t worry,” he told her, “I’ll be looking out for my little brother and my little sister.”
“Younger brother,” Killian corrected automatically, “and give her back her bag, you git.”
“Why? I’m being a gentleman and walking her to class.”
Killian snatched Elsa’s backpack and thrust it back into her arms. “If you walk her to class, you’re walking me too, and that’s embarrassing. I’ll be the gentleman carrying her bag, thank you very much.”
Liam shrugged in defeat, then gave Elsa his charming, dimpled grin. “Okay then, I leave you in my brother’s irresponsible hands,” he quipped. Then he gave Elsa a little shove on the shoulder, “You’ll be fine, kid.”
Elsa frowned as Liam walked towards the junior/senior wing. She thought she was over the tiny crush she had nursed over Liam back when she was twelve, but those words – little sister, kid – they still hurt. She felt Killian nudge her.
“Don’t let it bother you,” he said, “my brother thinks it’s his job to take care of everyone.”
“You don’t have to carry my bag, you know,” she told him, not really wanting to talk about Liam.
Killian grinned that crooked smile of his that made girls swoon over him. “I’m not about to be outdone by my brother. Besides, it can’t hurt my reputation to be seen walking a cheerleader to class.”
Elsa shook her head and fell into step beside Killian. She looked down again at the pleated skirt and the letters SHS emblazoned across her chest. How long before the whole school saw through her charade?
**********************************************************
Anna had been right about one thing: being on the cheerleading squad had made the transition to high school easier. Not because it made Elsa super popular; that was a Hollywood stereotype. It made it easier because she had developed friendships with the other cheerleaders over the summer, especially during the week they spent at camp together. Elsa was the only freshman on varsity, but the older girls were so sweet to her. Even better, the JV girls weren’t envious of her at all and also became her friends. She wouldn’t say she was super close to any of them, but they were at least her acquaintances at school.
Knowing Liam and Killian Jones didn’t hurt, either, especially Liam. Even though some people teased Liam for being a squeaky clean preacher’s kid who didn’t party or break curfew, he was still respected. The guys admired him for his athletic ability on both the soccer team and the swim team, and the girls swooned over his good looks and chivalrous manner. On the flip side, her friendship with Killian got her attention in different ways. Half the rumors about him weren’t even true, but everyone seemed to want to know more about the charming yet rebellious younger son of Storybrooke Fellowship’s pastor, Brennan Jones.
One person who was especially fascinated with Killian was one of the JV cheerleaders, Shannon Tucker. She had befriended Elsa at tryouts back in the spring, even inviting her over to practice the cheers and the dance choreography. Of course, the second she closed the door to her room, she had given Elsa a conspiratorial grin and asked her, “So, is Killian Jones a good kisser?”
Elsa had almost gagged at the thought. “Yuck! How would I know?”
“But you two are so close –“
“Um, no, not like that! We grew up together. Kissing him would be like kissing my brother.”
Of course, kissing Liam on the other hand . . .
So it didn’t surprise Elsa that talk turned to Killian one night in September at Shannon’s kitchen table. They had second period civics together, and had teamed up on a project. They were supposed to be making a poster of the bill of rights, but instead Shannon kept peppering her with questions.
“You said Killian isn’t dating anyone, but everyone knows he gets around –“
“That’s not true,” Elsa said a bit defensively. She was sick of all the stories about her friend. Just because his mom pulled him out of school last year, everyone thought he was some sort of juvenile delinquent who was trying to impregnate all of Storybrooke.
“Okay, if you say so,” Shannon waved her hand as if Elsa were completely naïve (and maybe she was, Elsa had to admit), “but if a girl were to have a shot with him . . . “
Hours later, Elsa was sick to death of talking about Killian Jones. They also hadn’t finished their project. Elsa had to admit, she was also getting a little sick of Shannon.
“Just ask your parents if you can spend the night,” her friend told her with a shrug.
Elsa did as Shannon asked, and then let out a deep – pretend - sigh as she hung up the phone in her friend’s kitchen. “Mom said no,” she told her friend. “She said I can’t sleep over on a school night.”
Shannon flipped her brown hair off her shoulder and pouted as she leaned against the counter. “That’s so dumb! Why are your parents so strict?”
Elsa just shrugged. Kids at school said that a lot about her parents. She supposed that she and her sister Anna had more rules than most kids their age, but Elsa honestly never thought much about it. Her parents loved her so much, and she loved them.
“Well,” Shannon’s mother said as she wiped at the kitchen counter, “I can’t take Elsa home. I’ve got work that’s been piling up all afternoon.” The woman tapped at the marble for a moment, thinking.
“I’m really sorry, Mrs. Tucker,” Elsa apologized, “I didn’t know our project would take so long to finish.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” the woman replied, waving her hand in the air dismissively, “it was nice having someone for Shannon to chatter on and on with besides me.”
“Mom!” Shannon protested, tossing a piece of popcorn she had been munching on at her mother.
Mrs. Tucker brightened when Shannon’s brother Derek came in the room. He ignored the women completely as he grabbed a soft drink from the fridge and popped the tab.
“Derek,” Mrs. Tucker said, “could you please take Shannon’s friend Elsa home?”
Derek looked up for the first time at the females gathered in the kitchen. Elsa’s heart pounded as Derek seemed to notice her for the first time. He was nineteen and a freshman at the community college in Storybrooke. He was really good looking, with thick brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He wasn’t overly tall or muscular, but his shoulders were broad and his arms were toned. Elsa had honestly been crushing on him from the first time she had come over to Shannon’s house back in the spring. But until this moment, he had never given her a second look.
He was now, though. His gaze traveled over her, from the top of her head, to the bottom of her feet. Elsa hoped he didn’t notice the blush rising to her cheeks.
“Yeah, sure,” he said with a shrug, “come on.”
And with shaking hands, Elsa grabbed her backpack and followed him to his car.
************************************************
Elsa had never been very talkative. Her mother joked that it was because her sister Anna talked enough for two. Yet even quiet Elsa usually talked more than she was right now in Derek’s car. No matter what he said to her, all she seemed to be able to give were one word responses. Even so, the longer they drove, the more he smiled at her. Of course, that just made her nerves intensify.
“You seem nervous,” he said.
Elsa shrugged, “No. I’m not nervous.”
He laughed in a way that made her feel ten years old. “Okay. Well, I just want you to know, that if you are, it’s okay. I’m used to girls getting nervous around me.”
He smiled and Elsa managed to smile back. She almost jumped out of her skin when he reached over and took her hand.
“You’ve grown up a lot over the summer,” he said, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.
Elsa’s heart was hammering in her chest. There were only two boys who had ever held her hand: the Jones brothers. But that was only to jump off the docks when they were swimming or to play red rover at youth group or the time Killian dared her to jump off the hayride at the church fall festival. This was completely different. This sent shivers racing down her arm. Could Derek have really noticed her in that way? Could he really like her? She was only fourteen, but there were other girls her age at school dating boys who were 17, 18, or 19. Of course, those girls knew how to talk to boys. How to flirt, how to act to get their attention . . . how to kiss. Elsa meanwhile was probably the only girl in the freshman class who had never been kissed.
Derek surprised Elsa then by turning into the church parking lot. She was so surprised, she didn’t know what to say until he had parked in the empty lot and switched off his headlights.
“Wh – what are we doing here?” she asked.
The words were barely out of her mouth when Derek leaned across the front seat, grabbed her by the back of her head, and kissed her. Her thoughts were nervous butterflies skittering in her brain. Part of her liked the kiss. It sent heat burning across her skin and down to the core of her. Part of her was nervous at doing something wrong, since she had never kissed a boy before. And part of her was a little scared. By the way his hand grabbed at the back of her neck, the aggressive motion of his lips, and the way he was pushing her backwards against the door of the car. Then he shoved his tongue in her mouth, and the fear won out.
She pushed against his chest, but that was useless. She then pulled her mouth away and turned her head, but that only made him start kissing her neck, moving lower and lower towards the top of her shirt, and that made her fear increase.
“Stop,” she said, pushing harder against his chest.
Derek laughed. “Your first kiss?” He smiled at her and brushed her hair back from her face almost tenderly. The action made her heart constrict. It seemed he really liked her. She pressed her lips together and nodded. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll teach you.”
Then he kissed her again, his tongue almost choking her. His hands roamed over her breasts as he pushed her down into a more horizontal position. She struggled against him, trying now to push his hands off her breasts. He broke the kiss and started on her neck again.
“No,” she said again, a tremor in her voice as she continued to struggle.
His kissing and hand-roaming stopped. Derek looked down at her with that tender expression again. It was almost like he was two different people.
“I thought you liked me, baby.”
Elsa swallowed hard. “I- I did. I thought I did.”
He grinned. “That’s what I thought.” Then he started kissing along the edge of her neckline again
and then slid his hand up her shirt. Elsa grabbed his wrist to stop him, but he fought her. “Shhh . . . you want this, you know you do.”
She suddenly panicked realizing what “this” was. She kept attempting to push him away with one hand while her other reached for the door handle. She pushed it down, but nothing happened, she scrambled for the lock and mashed it repeatedly, but still nothing happened.
Derek pulled up off her for a moment and grabbed her roughly by both wrists. “Child lock,” he told her, “girls like you never know what they want.”
She started crying now as he pressed himself against her again.
“Hey!” A familiar voice shouted, accompanied by a loud pounding on the window. “What the hell is going on?”
Elsa turned her head to see Liam Jones standing there, yanking hard on the door handle. Derek loosened his hold on her, and she turned her body away from him, reaching once again for the door handle.
“He won’t let me out!” she cried in a voice so hysterical she scarcely recognized it as her own.
Liam slammed his fists now into the glass. “Open this damn door before I smash these windows in,” he screamed.
Derek must have hit the child lock because suddenly the latch gave, and the door swung open. The force of it nearly sent Elsa tumbling to the pavement, but Liam caught her. She clung desperately to his shirt, trembling and sobbing. His own arms shook as he wrapped them around her, running one hand comfortingly up and down her back. When he spoke next, his words were low and threatening, and they sent a tremor all through him.
“What the hell did you do to her?”
“Hey, man,” Derek said, trying to sound nonchalant. Elsa turned her head to peek at him. He stood with both hands up, but not in surrender. More like he was washing his hands of the mess that Elsa was. “I didn’t know she was so immature. I was just trying to have a little fun, and she freaked out on me.”
“You locked her in your car!” Liam shouted. “Anyone would freak out!”
“You seriously believe that?” Derek scoffed.
“I saw it with my own eyes, pervert!” Liam relinquished his hold on Elsa and took a step backwards. “I’m going to call the police.”
“Liam, no!” Elsa pleaded, grabbing his arm. The hysteria she felt earlier clawed its way up inside her, making her heart race and her head pound.
Tears streamed down her face as she shook her head, “He’s probably right. I probably just freaked out.”
Liam frowned while Derek laughed. “See? Told you. She’s just a kid who doesn’t understand what guys expect.”
Derek’s taunts only made Liam angrier, and before Derek even knew what was happening, Liam had hauled him up by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the hood of the car. Though Derek was three years older, Liam was bigger and stronger.
“Just a kid? Just a kid! Then why the hell were you pawing at her, huh? She’s only fourteen!”
Liam raised his fist to slam it into Derek’s face, but Elsa raced forward to pull him back. “Please don’t, Liam! If he goes home with a black eye, my friend’s going to want to know what happened. And I can’t, I can’t . . .” Elsa trailed off, sobs choking her words. Liam deflated at the sound of her crying. He let go of Derek to hold Elsa once again to his chest.
“Go,” he bit out, “before I change my mind.”
Derek, with wide eyes, scrambled to get into his car. Soon, his headlights were leaving the church lot and fading away as he turned down Main Street. Liam made no move to release her, and Elsa tilted her head back to look up at him. His dark blonde curls were illuminated under the church parking lot lights. It made him look almost angelic. He looked down at her, brow creased with concern.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Suddenly, Elsa felt too exposed under his gaze, and shame washed over her. She wanted nothing more right now than a hot shower – as hot as she could stand – followed by her biggest, baggiest pajamas and her own warm bed. She extricated herself from Liam’s embrace and turned away from him, hunching her shoulders and ducking her head as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“I’m okay,” she told him as she attempted to walk away. But her knees were wobbling like jell-o, and for the third time that night, Liam caught her, steadying her at the elbows.
“Hey,” he said softly, as if she were an injured animal, “why don’t you sit down for a minute?”
Since sitting down sounded wonderful, she let Liam guide her over to the church steps. He sat next to her, his arm still draped around her shoulders. The tears started coming again, and she buried her face in her hands, scrubbing at her eyes in frustration.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t go to the police?” he asked.
“No!” Elsa cried again. She looked into Liam’s gaze for a brief moment, before she ducked her head. She rubbed at her temple. She was so confused. She had felt so afraid in that car, but maybe Derek was right. No guy had ever seemed interested in her or tried to kiss her. And she was only fourteen. Maybe she had blown the whole thing out of proportion. She took a deep, shaky breath before attempting to speak again. “I just want to pretend this never happened.”
Liam was quiet a long time. Elsa still couldn’t bear to look at him, so she just stared at her hands clasped in her lap.
“What about the emergency room then?” he finally asked in almost a whisper.
That made her turn to look at him in confusion. “For what? I’m not hurt.”
He frowned. “You se-“ he stopped whatever he was about to say and swallowed hard, “you’re sure?”
“Please, Liam,” she interrupted, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
Liam pressed his lips together and sighed. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“It is,” she whispered. She shivered and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Liam pulled her a bit closer.
“I would offer you my jacket, but it’s sixty degrees outside.”
Elsa laughed at that, but then the laughter turned to more hysterical tears. He rubbed her back in silence as she cried again.
“I’m so glad Dad sent me to get that book from his office.”
Elsa didn’t say anything to that. She started to ask herself, “What if . . . ?” but even those two words caused panic to claw at her chest. So she shoved them down, deep, deep down inside of herself. The tears finally subsided, and she took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders.
“Let me take you home,” Liam said.
“Home!” Elsa cried. “How will I explain to my parents that I’m with you instead of Shannon’s brother?”
Liam arched a brow. “I’m the pastor’s son. Whatever we come up with, your parents will believe it.”
Elsa chuckled wryly. “Being the pastor’s son never makes them believe a word your brother says.”
“Okay, let me rephrase that, I’m the pastor’s oldest son.” He reached out and thumbed Elsa’s chin. “And at least I’ve gotten you to smile for the first time tonight.”
“Ugh,” Elsa protested, turning away and rubbing at her cheeks, “I’m a mess. How can I go home now? Everyone will see that something’s wrong.”
“You really don’t want them to know?”
Elsa shook her head. “Please, Liam! Please promise me you won’t tell a soul about any of this. Even Killian.”
Liam regarded her intently for a long, silent moment. Then he expelled a long breath. “Okay, Elsa. For you.” Then he smiled at her again. Enough to reveal one of his dimples. She’d always liked those dimples, so she smiled back.
“Now,” he said decisively, as if officially burying what just happened, “I know just what can erase all evidence of your tears. Ice cream!”
He stood and offered her his hand, which she took. He helped her up and slung his arm around her as they walked to his car. In it, Elsa felt a slight shift in their relationship. From that day forward, Liam seemed to think it his job to protect Elsa. And for her, Liam Jones became more than her friend, even more than her first crush. He became her rescuer; her hero.
And as for that night, they both kept their vow. For better or worse, they never spoke of it again. Until eight years later . . .
