Hi! I have a doubt. My character is kidnapped, and her captor is obsessed with her. She endures sexual and psychological abuse, has no means to escape, and can only interact with her captor, and the captor's sister (who doesn't give a damn about her situation). What are the effects of all this, especially once she's rescued?
CW: sexual assault, psychological abuse, kidnapping
That sounds like ripe conditions for Stockholm Syndrome to develop. Check out what I’ve written on the topic here.
1/2 My character is 23 years old and in the past 8 months of her life she experience the death of her husband right next to her in the bed, being prisoned and abused by the man that worked there, some injuries and she was sentenced to death, being torn apart from her 5 years old daughter. Could she develope DID from that? Especialy if she shuts down her traumas and tries to ignore them, and in the same time starts training for her revenge, but she is too soft and does not want to kil.
2/2 She would need to develope a side of her that is more of a fighter not a lover. Would a second personality like in DID help her be that fighter side?
DID forms due to intense / prolonged trauma in early childhood. The window it develops in is roughly between 6 and 9 years old.
Your character can definitely pick up some dissociative symptoms, but they can’t realistically develop DID.
So, I've read all of your posts on Stockholm Syndrome, which have been very informative and helpful! But many people define any hostage/captor relationship as "Stockholm syndrome". In my story, I've tried my best to minimise an extreme power imbalance (which is difficult), the captor is reluctant to have to take a hostage and treats them well and humanely, they rarely use any force unless they try to escape and even then they try not to hurt them. They honestly just want to be able to escape 1/2
2/2 and have no intention of harming them. They regularly converse with each other. They’re isolated together while on the run. With all of that said, is there any way to make this relationship seem healthier? I don’t want to romanticise abuse or real captor/hostage relationships, this couple just fits really well in the narrative and I want it to seem as un-Stockholmy as possible. Thank you!
CW: abusive relationship; domestic violence; physical abuse; kidnapping; Stockholm syndrome
I don’t know what to tell you, Anon.
they rarely use any force unless they try to escape
Even though you say it “rarely” happens, you’re saying that it does happen. Using force against someone to prevent them from leaving is a type of physical abuse.
If you don’t want it to come off as romanticizing an abusive relationship, your character can’t do that. The “captive” needs to be able to leave, and the imbalance of power corrected.
I do have one idea, which may or may not work with your story. Have the “captive” sympathize with the “captor” and want to help them escape before they’re taken “captive”. They choose to go with the “captor” willingly and pretend to be a hostage to help protect them.
Still a little problematic power-wise, but by far a better option if you don’t want to romanticize abuse.
you know that trope in shows or movies where the evil character is in captivity and starts talking to the Heroes to try and mess with their minds, and starts analysing them going “face it you’ll never be good enough” … “you try to act tough but inside you’re broken” … and the Hero gets really rattled and upset.
well i want a scene like that where it doesn’t work
Villain: “You have a darkness inside of you. You try to hide it, but it’s there–”
Hero: “Yeah that’s the depression, there’s pills for that.”
Villain: “You try every day to make your mother proud. Even after death, it still haunts you. But she’ll never be proud of.”
Hero: “Well yeah, she was an emotionally abusive narcissist, she was never proud of anything I did, what else is new.”
Villain: “You put on a good show, but deep inside I know you don’t feel worthy.”
Hero: “I know, man, I’ve been trying to work on that in therapy.”
Like… give me characters who know they’re mentally ill and traumatised who can’t have it used against them because they’ve fully accepted it
Hi. It me.
I believe the exchange OP is looking for is: “This is going to hurt.” “Man, shut the hell up.”
THIS HAS BEEN DONE AND GLORIOUSLY!
I’ve reblogged this before, but it didn’t have this awesome example of it!
Okay, so. In my story, a pair of twins are kidnapped when they're relatively young (between 6 and 9 years old, I haven't decided yet). Will they develop Stockholm Syndrome even if they're petrified of their captor and cling to each other for safety?
There are a lot of factors for Stockholm Syndrome to develop, and the fact that they have each other is certainly a protective factor. However, there’s never an absolute guarantee that someone in the right conditions (see the posts in my masterpost here) will develop Stockholm syndrome.
So ask yourself - do you, as a writer, want them to develop Stockholm syndrome?
(Personally, I think it’d be interesting if just one of the twins developed it. But that’s just me. >_>)
you know that trope in shows or movies where the evil character is in captivity and starts talking to the Heroes to try and mess with their minds, and starts analysing them going “face it you’ll never be good enough” … “you try to act tough but inside you’re broken” … and the Hero gets really rattled and upset.
well i want a scene like that where it doesn’t work
Villain: “You have a darkness inside of you. You try to hide it, but it’s there–”
Hero: “Yeah that’s the depression, there’s pills for that.”
Villain: “You try every day to make your mother proud. Even after death, it still haunts you. But she’ll never be proud of.”
Hero: “Well yeah, she was an emotionally abusive narcissist, she was never proud of anything I did, what else is new.”
Villain: “You put on a good show, but deep inside I know you don’t feel worthy.”
Hero: “I know, man, I’ve been trying to work on that in therapy.”
Like… give me characters who know they’re mentally ill and traumatised who can’t have it used against them because they’ve fully accepted it
So I have my heroine and my villain, they are at times also allies, but when they are enemies, while she was never his captive, everytime they met, tried to kill her, he beat her, mocked her, taunted her, and managed to manipulate her to follow his footsteps for a while. Is it possible for my heroine to develops Stolkhom syndrome, after bonding emotionally with the villain and finding out his past ( she feels so sorry for him that she let him to escape in the end)?
Stockholm syndrome requires that the captive be entirely unable to escape, and rely on their captor to meet their basic physical needs.
However, it’s very possible for your character to have those reactions! You just can’t call it Stockholm syndrome.
I'm trying to write a story where a pair of young twins (5 or 6) are kidnapped and live with their captor for 10 years. How likely are they to develop Stockholm Syndrome if they're absolutely terrified of her?
There are a lot of factors that influence how likely (or unlikely) Stockholm Syndrome is to develop. In this case:
More likely:
Less likely:
Ultimately, it’s up to you if you want to have them develop Stockholm Syndrome or not. You can justify going either way with it.
For reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with a movie that just came out, I’ve decided to collect my Stockholm Syndrome posts into a single post.
CW: Abuse (neglect, physical, emotional, and sexual) on all links.
(1/2) Mutual Stockholm syndrome ask: Have a narrative I have been avoiding because tricky subject. Character A is a murderer/assassin and Character B is sent to bring them in. B catches A and is supposed to make sure A dies "accidentally" but refuses to become a murderer themselves. They end up isolated by circumstance. Mutual messy weird bond ensues, as A believes (wrongly) that B will kill them, and B believes (rightly) that A will kill, if given opportunity.
(2/2) Mutual Stockholm syndrome ask: Since neither can escape, both face isolation, both believe they’re in constant peril, and both need the other one to survive, etc. can mutual Stockholm occur in something like this? B is the captor but not abusive, and is the one genuinely fearing for their life. A is the captive, but also the source of danger for much of the journey. Is shades of mutual SH a logical way to frame the non-romantic emotional mess these two end up with between them?
Stockholm syndrome only develops if the abuser has complete power over their victim. It wouldn’t apply here since the power imbalance isn’t completely one-sided. The captive needs to be entirely dependent on the captor; the captor cannot be dependent on the captive in any meaningful way.
my alien character wants to keep a human as their pet, what would be effective and efficient methods to induce stockholm syndrome in the human character? the aliens are human-like and communication with the humans is not an issue. also what could possible side-effects be if the human character knows they'll sooner or later succumb to stockholm syndrome because they've been told that this is the goal and they have no chance of escape? hope this isn't too much out of your scope..
…This ask is phrased very creepily, but I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your alien character is the villain of your story. Because keeping a human as a pet with the intention of inducing Stockholm Syndrome is nothing short of evil, vile, and abusive. Please make sure to make that clear in your story, because it wasn’t clear in your ask.
I am not saying not to write about it. Writers write about horrendous, awful things all the time. I’ve written extensively about Stockholm Syndrome in one of my books.
I want to just make this clear:
Any character that wants to put another character through this hellish, traumatizing experience is evil. Relationships that arise because of Stockholm Syndrome cannot be defined as “love.” See my post here for more info.
Continued after the jump because of descriptions of abuse and sexual assault. Also, it’s a long one, Shrinky-dinks.
“So is [an abuser] lying when he says he loves you? No, usually not. Most of my clients do feel a powerful sensation inside that they call love. For many of them it is the only kind of feeling toward a female partner that they have ever had, so they have no way of knowing that it isn't love. When an abusive man feels the powerful stirring inside that other people call love, he is probably feeling:
These desires are important aspects of what romantic love means to him. He may well be capable of feeling genuine love for you, but first he will have to dramatically reorient his outlook in order to separate abusive and possessive desires from true caring, and become able to really see you.
The confusion of love with abuse is what allows abusers who kill their partners to make the absurd claim that they were driven by the depths of their loving feelings. The news media regrettably often accepts the aggressors’ view of these acts, describing them as “crimes of passion.” But what could more thoroughly prove that a man did not love his partner? If a mother were to kill one of her children, would we ever accept the claim that she did it because she was overwhelmed by how much she cared? Not for an instant. Nor should we.
Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person, wanting what is best for him or her, and supporting the other person’s self-esteem and independence. This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion.”
- Lundy Bancroft, “Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.”
[The Shrink would like to take a moment to say that not all abusers are men, and not all victims/survivors of abuse are women.]
original slave anon here! if the slaves master wasnt very good at taking care of themself and treated the slave alright is it possible for the slave to become dependent on caring for them and/or grow to love their master in a non stockholmy way?
When there is an imbalance of power such as in a master/slave relationship that you’re describing, it is my opinion that love as it is traditionally defined is impossible.
The slave’s well-being is dependent on their ability to keep their master pleased with them. They cannot freely consent to a relationship because rejecting their master carries the risk of severe punishment. The slave does not have the freedom to make a choice.
Let’s look at the things I listed as qualities of a Stockholm Syndrome type relationship in a previous post, shall we? Specifically, those criteria that would be very much a part of a master-slave relationship. I’ll even give the benefit of the doubt and leave out the explicitly violent ones.
Any idea on how long it would take a former slave to unlearn behaviors like following orders, cleaning up after people, bowing, avoiding eye contact, etc.?
That depends on a lot of factors. It could take anywhere from weeks to a decade to fully break out of those learned behaviors.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to help determine how long it would take:
Obviously, this list is not exhaustive. But it’s a starting point.
Hope this helps!
In my story, my character goes through a little over a week of torture when she's captured by the enemy trying to save her injured friend. It happens relatively quickly, and she has to see some pretty brutal stuff. She has two friends there too, and has to witness the effects of maltreatment on them. What do you think the odds of her getting PTSD would be, and how long does it typically last?
There are a lot of factors that determine whether or not someone develops PTSD. However, the more times someone’s traumatized, or the longer the duration of the torture, the more likely it is that they’d develop PTSD. I’d say it’s pretty likely in your character’s case.
As for the duration…about half of all people with PTSD will make a complete recovery within 3 months. In the other half, PTSD symptoms last from years, to life-long.
Good luck with your story!
