Hello skinny tgirl. Lately you've been complaining that your tits aren't growing. In front of you is a plate of food.

Unironically my tits grow faster for a few days every time I eat salmon

I should probably cook more salmon

Well yes salmon does have some fat in it! And it is good! Try and eat it with some carbs, like potatoes, or maybe blinis. Why not add some vegetables as well? Steamed brocolis, grilled leaks, roasted eggplant, and maybe some cream? That sounds delicious.

Idk who this man is but he is right. Eat girls

commas save lives,,, rip girls, you were delicious,

Girls can be eaten many times if you know what you’re doing.

No this is accurate

made another in honor of season 2. everyone sucks. i love them.

I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

reblog if you are an ad hating commie

Comforting words from Freddy

society is actually wrong. u can like poem and talk about it to ur friends

I assume this meant to say porn but I think it's funnier this way

I fucked up so bad, this is supposed to be about porn I’m so sorry English majors

accidentally hit something on the treadmill at my gym and it opened a web browser??

Okay something that's been annoying me lately is seeing people who don't like Ford say stuff like, "well he's so narcissistic! He's a bad person because he's self obsessive and thinks too highly of himself!" But like, yeah, of course he thinks highly of himself, of course he thinks he's destined for greatness, of course he's obsessed with being better than others, he has to be!

He's been told his entire life by everyone around him that he has to do something great, that he has a worth he has to live up to, that he needs to make something grand of himself or he's a failure. So of course he thinks this is true, of course he believes people when they say he needs to do something great, he likes believing that over the insecurities telling him he's just a freak worth nothing. Not only that, but if that's not true, if he's not meant for something more, something better, that means he lost Stanley for nothing! He has to believe there's some world shattering goal he specifically was made to reach because if there's not, that means he removed his brother from his life for nothing. If there's no predestined path to greatness he's supposed to be following, that means his brother wasn't a roadblock to get rid of, he was just his brother who made a mistake.

He has to believe he was made for greatness because if he wasn't then he's just a pretentious asshole who pushed away his brother.

I know other people have probably already pointed this out, but I felt like talking about it. Yes, Ford has made mistakes because of his ego, but that ego is a drug everyone in his life has enabled him to partake in. We see that once no one is enabling him to believe in some greater purpose, his narcissistic tendencies deflate and he functions very well with others and is happy to just be Ford Pines, human scientist. He doesn't need the entire world to know him as the best, he can just sail the world with his brother.

Can we normalize this?

Like please please please??

Me irl, but like actually

I’m starting a (rapidly growing) collection

Or as I like to call it, draw your blorbo. No really if you do draw any of your blorbos like this feel free to tag me because I would love to see that

I'm not letting this stay in the notes, it's too funny

The great thing about huge declarations is that the most times you're ever going to have to deliver on them is ONCE. And even that is vanishingly unlikely. The dishes happen every day. My feet hurt now. The kids need a lift to piano lessons every week. The grenade is hypothetical.

source: That's Ms. Bulldyke to You, Charlie! by Jane Caminos

"lying is wrong" what evangelical nonsense is this???

listen to me. lying is morally neutral. and for many people in shitty situations it's a survival tactic.

lying in order to cause harm is often wrong, because causing harm is generally wrong. lying is also done for a myriad of other reasons, including because it isn't safe to speak truth, or because privacy is a thing and damn what an incredibly invasive question to ask in the first place.

truth is earned, my friend.

also, sometimes lying is funny. sometimes it saves time. sometimes it's easier, sometimes it accomplishes a goal, sometimes the truth is nobody's business, or is tricky to articulate, or you don't know what the truth is but are expected to have an answer regardless. sometimes you just straight up want people to stop bothering you. sometimes lying is an experiment to see how much you can get away with. sometimes you just want to be a little mean, yeah.

and in none of these situations is lying automatically "right" or "wrong" it is simply a tool that people will use, and that you will have to make your own decisions about based on situation and context.

climb out of the dark pit of assigning moral values to neutral behaviors. that's puritan thinking that's got its greedy fangs in you, rip 'em out by the root

Reblog and put in the tags if you can remember where you got the shirt you're currently wearing.

SOMEONE FINALLY PUT IT INTO WORDS!!!

guYS THE FUCKING SIGNS