be kind, be kind, be kind

they don’t tell you this but you can take steps to improve your life all the time. even when you’re feeling absolutely miserable. even when it doesn’t pay off immediately. do you guys know about this

Listen to me: You get good at things by being bad at them. You learn by failing. You gain competency and a sense of mastery by failing at something many times and in many interesting ways.

The sooner you are able to laugh at your own failures, to enjoy the process of messing up, the easier life will be. Because you'll no longer be afraid of learning.

And once you're no longer afraid of failing, you can learn anything.

i wish it were as easy as it sounds

And that's the thing of it, isn't it? Failing and accepting a failure is itself a skill.

And it can be very hard to learn, especially if you come from a family where a failure is a sign that you are a failure instead of a sign that you are learning.

You're going to fail at failing well. There are going to be times when it hurts, times when your brain is telling you that you should just give up and you'll never get it. Times when a failure is going to frustrate you to no end.

And you can still learn to fail well. You can learn to see it as a sign that you're learning, you can learn to give a little chuckle and say to yourself, well, everyone screws up sometimes, I'm just learning.

It is not easy, but it is important.

i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

I saw an article called “Make Peace With Your Unlived Life” and it really made me stop and think. So much of our lives is mourning for what we didn’t become. It’s a waste. We didn’t waste any opportunities. What came and went was not meant for us.

just go enjoy your life, 

reminders to myself:

- i am not a burden

- i am allowed to make mistakes

- i am not worthless

- i have purpose

- i am loved even if it doesn’t always feel like it

- i have a future

- i am not a bad person

- i am trying my best and that matters

- i deserve to love myself

sometimes you have to put that nice girl act in your back pocket, stop being so shy, stop being so self conscious, and just do whatever the hell you want. look out for you.

held on til may. now what

actually this was so sweet. i love you

God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.

do it scared do it weird do it alone. holy trinity

finding it necessary to remind everyone that it's seasonal. i promise you it's seasonal. everyone i know is out of their minds right now in some way or another. it's seasonal.

Can we normalize doing nothing, please?

I work with kids. These kids are at my program before and after school, and then some of them have sports/dance/music sometimes all of the above before they finally go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep. Then rinse and repeat everyday, and games and more classes on the weekend, etc.

I’m all for extracurriculars, but this turns into the teen who is not only in the school play, but they’re on the newspaper, the football team, and seven different clubs. In college they take double the courseloads, and then once they graduate…what?

They work themselves raw because they arent used to downtime. They’ve been told they can always be doing something, and they don’t know how to relax. This turns into the adult that has anxiety because there’s nothing left to clean, the adult that desperately wants to watch that TV show but can’t force themselves to sit long enough for it.

Then they turn into the moms and dads who spend all their free time ferrying their kids to extracurriculars.

Like, these kids don’t know what downtime is? I told a kid I did nothing last weekend, and he looked at me like I was crazy. He asked what I was doing this weekend and I said “Probably sleeping, mostly,” and he actually gasped. Then he rattled off a bunch of things I could do, to which I had to stop him.

“No, you don’t understand. I plan on sleeping. I’m booked.”

“But you could–”

“Nah. I’m just gonna rest.”

It was as if I had said a bad word or something. I asked what he does when he gets sick, and he says he goes to practice anyway. I asked him what he does if he doesn’t feel like going, and he said he goes anyway. I asked when he takes time to rest, and he said when he sleeps at night.

Bring back lazy Sundays. Bring back Saturday morning cartoons. Bring back the idea of relaxing and soaking in your day before moving into the next thing. Bring back the right to breathe, the right to rest.

Bring back mental health days, and taking a break. Bring back taking a walk or watching a show or setting a timer to remind yourself to stop cleaning and relax.

If you’re running at 100% all the time with no time to recharge, then your battery is going to die spectacularly, and probably at the worst possible time.

Mood

Society is trying to burn us all out.  Tell society to fuck off.

Go take a fucking nap.  You’ve more than earned it and you deserve it.

We HAVE to recharge.  Our bodies, our minds, our everything requires it.  

Those issues are… world wide for real…

the secret to being a cool adult is to wear things that your younger self wanted to wear but couldn’t and to do things that your younger self wanted to do but couldnt

So many books to read and instruments to learn and languages to speak and poems to write and strawberries to eat and countries to visit and songs to sing and films to watch and people to kiss and pictures to take and