Dial-a-Llama

i firmly choose to believe that the reason there weren't any cats in that house when Bells Hells bamfed in was because both Essek and Caleb are responsible cat parents and they both realized that their usual hierarchy of in-home catsitters (Beau & Yasha -> Jester & Fjord -> Veth, Yeza & Luc -> Caduceus) was depleted because they were all gonna busy with the liveshow shenanigans.

You know who wasn't busy? Kingsley.

You know who was next in that hierarchy? Definitely not Kingsley! (It was probably Dairon, but Dairon was busy running around the Cobalt Soul frantically)

So I love to imagine that the world is going to hell and there's at LEAST four cats in their house that need proper care and nobody is available to do it, so in a last ditch effort (because Mittens needs a special wet food diet and Krumel needs some medication and the others are simply too social to be left alone for too long) Essek phones up Kingsley and asks him.

Only for then, four days later, Essek stops into the house briefly to grab supplies and pauses halfway up the hall when he realizes that the cats are nowhere to be seen.

"Kingsley?" he Sends, trusting of his friend but not entirely sure of his character. "Where are the cats?"

"Oh, I had to go deal with a new trade deal by Port Damali!" Kingsley replies cheerfully. "Don't worry, the cats are with me!"

Essek pauses. Inhales deeply. This was the man he helped save, this was the man he mourned before a literal miracle of the gods brought him back.

"Kingsley," he Sends again, already bitter about the extra spell slot usage. "Are you at sea? Are you on a boat?"

"Yup!" comes the unadulterated happy reply. "The Captain's cabin is nice and roomy, and Krumel loves chasing down mice! Surprisingly helpful on a boat, cats! I might keep 'em!"

Essek physically restrains himself from wasting another spell slot on the tiefling. Instead, he touches the stone held in his palm.

"Caleb," he sighs. "I believe our cats were catnapped by Kingsley."

All he hears on the other end is a fit of laughter.

Going on a date to the ruins of a lost city that was destroyed by the gods themselves, but the place is filled with terrifying lethal crimes against nature, and then your hot boyfriend is turned into a salmon.

I am FEASTING on the bits and pieces Essek is dropping about him and Caleb's relationship and adventures! 🧡💜

And the implications surrounding the fact that Essek was turned into a fish at some point by the raging wild magic in Aeor cured my artblock. 🙏

Ah yes, my favourite Critical Role dynamic. Sad Wizard x Other Sad Wizard.

I love all of the "Essek respectfully inspects Ashton's brain" takes. But I would like to offer an alternative.

"Morally dubious disaster wizards trying their best when presented with temptation."

Much like the Wizards, I couldn't let this thought go.

My Shadowgast brainrot is sill fully eating my synapses

I won’t be shutting up about them anytime soon ngl