@schmergo / schmergo.tumblr.com
I feel like there’s literally no stronger swear word than when a girl in bonnet in a movie says something like, “But Lady Snapplecap says I cannot until I come of age!” and a dude wearing pants tucked into his boots and an open shirt replies, “DAMN Lady Snapplecap!” with the force of 435 F-bombs
Reblog this if you’ve ever talked about Bruno, if you’ve ever thought about talking about Bruno, or if you are secretly living in the walls of your family’s house
Concept: two rival biologists on a mad dash to discover the most hideous, revolting new species so they can name it after the other one
I don’t know, it kinda just happened.
Downton Abbey is wild because the stakes are always either SUPER low or crazy high. It’s like, one episode is, “Who will win the gardening contest at the fair? Is the countess cheating?” And another episode is, “The eldest daughter’s fiancé died in the Titanic, then she hooked up with a Turkish diplomat, her first ever sexual experience, and he DIED IN HER BED DURING THE CONJUGAL ACT, and now she has to move his corpse back to his bed without being of suspected of murder, BECAUSE IT COULD START A WAR, and also if people find out she’s ‘damaged goods’ and she can’t find an advantageous match, her family will LOSE THEIR ANCESTRAL HOME!” Then the show’s like, “A maid wants to become a secretary! Will she beat the odds?”
Swamps get a bad rap. People think of ‘swamps’ as the most ugly, mucky, gross place to be (heck, Shrek lives in one), but the word ‘swamp’ merely means a forested wetland. What are two of the most popular destinations for nature walks? Forests and wetlands, baby! Swamps are gorgeous and super vital to the ecosystem!
This beautiful destination is the Okefenokee Swamp in Georgia:
Ever heard of the “Great Dismal Swamp” in Virginia? Do you imagine the most depressing, gross, scary place you’ve ever seen? It might look a bit haunting, but look how gorgeous the Great Dismal Swamp can be:
Oh yeah, did I mention that swamps are unbelievably rich in wildlife and rare plant species? For example, the Great Dismal Swamp has over 200 species of birds, over 70 species of reptiles and amphibians, and booming mammal populations (you’re very likely to see black bears and otters, for example). That doesn’t sound so dismal to me.
Speaking of wildlife, the Pantanal swamps in Brazil, Paraguay, and Bolivia are home to some rare and gorgeous animals like jaguars, hyacinth macaws, capybaras, caiman, giant otters, maned wolves, and more.
It’s easy to understand why swamps might get a bad reputation. They’re hard to travel on foot (many swamps now have boardwalk trails and canoe tours), and the stagnant water can smell bad and give a home to many bugs, which spread diseases. Cool animals like crocodiles and jaguars are bad news if you’re lost in the swamp and come face to face with one. But swamps are super important to the planet and are often way more beautiful than what you may be picturing!
One cool thing swamps do is absorb excess water like sponges so the surrounding areas don’t get badly flooded. In addition to the many animals that live in swamps, swamp plants often have medicinal value or other practical purposes. And despite their reputation for being dirty, swamps actually purify water because their thick plant growth and soil absorb impurities in the water!
Anyway, don’t drain the swamps!
Pitch: Muppet Lord of the Rings. Miss Piggy as Eowyn. Imagine her just throwing herself at a human man playing Aragorn. Imagine her defeating the Witch-King of Angmar by going “HI-YA!” and karate chopping him.
To all the parents out there who bundle their babies up in the winter time with those little hats with the little ears that make them look like little teddy bears: You are doing the lord’s work. Seeing tiny ewoks toddle across the grocery store parking lot is just what we all need sometimes. My joy is immeasurable and my day is restored.
I hope that Grogu bullied Ben Solo in school
Isn’t it suspicious that the sexiest man alive is always already a celebrity? I feel like they’re really not plumbing the depths in their research.
Like, imagine if you got the Sexiest Man Alive edition of People and your orthodontist was on the front cover and you were like, “Oh PHEW, I guess I’m not the only one who sees it.”
Ah yes, the three genders
Some say that the Greeks coined the term 'barbarian' because foreigners who didn't speak Greek sounded like they were saying 'bar bar bar.'
Theory: what if the first 'barbarians' that the Greeks happened upon were simply the Beach Boys in a brief yet dramatic time slip, performing their hit tune "Barbara Ann." Sample lyrics: "Bar bar bar, bar, Barbara Ann. Bar bar bar, bar Barbara Ann..."
It wouldn't be TERRIBLY improbable. After all, they get around.
The Lincoln Assassination is really just wild if you think about it for a moment. The younger brother of one of the most famous actors in the country- himself a famous actor and heartthrob in his own right- killed the President in a theatre and yelled “Sic semper tyrannis,” a line often associated with Brutus, a character that his brother had famously played.
Like, imagine if Liam Hemsworth killed the Prime Minister of Australia at a red carpet movie premiere or something and yelled “I went for the head,” and Chris had to leave the Avengers press tour to tell everyone, “I swear I had nothing to do with this.” Imagine how weird that would be.
What up, my name’s Hamlet, I’m 19, and I never f***ing learned to be
