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Schmerg The Impaler's Secret Laboratory

@schmergo / schmergo.tumblr.com

Schmergo, Washington DC denizen, lover of literature, fan of fluffy cravats and falafel. This blog is a garbage disposal of corny jokes, memes, Shakespeare, classic lit, Les Miserables, musical theatre, pop culture, history, and assorted other hijinks!
I’m literally 32 years old
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Anonymous asked:

It is said you are a Tiger Expert, that you have a PhD in Tigers. Well, answer me this: What subspecies is Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes? And what about Tony?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Idk about Hobbes, but Tony the tiger seems to be Italian-American, which leads me to wonder if perhaps he’s descended from some of the tigers that fought in arenas in Ancient Rome. Those likely would have been extinct Caspian tigers (which were found in Turkey), so let’s say Tony the tiger is one of the last vestiges of this subspecies.

We have no way of knowing, though, if Caspian tigers could talk or were particularly partial to sugary cereal, so he may be a hybrid of various subspecies. 

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Oh lordy lordy, I have an English degree and work in children’s media, but I made a pendantic correction to a video about tigers on facebook and now random people are asking me questions about tigers like I’m some kind of authority. Finally, all of the lonely lunch periods I spent reading all of the zoo animals books in the library as a kid are paying off!

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