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bruce wayne dilf agenda
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negative space
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Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.
Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"
"Why Clark, we need a machine--"
"Run along now."
Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*
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David Corenswet as Superman/Clark Kent
Superman (2025) dir. James Gunn
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Every time someone says that I can't find men hot because I'm a lesbian, I remember this scene. Gay, not blind indeed
aaaaaand now I'm thinking about jaykyle firefighter au. on the goddamn clock.
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oh, you have to elaborate on single parent AU for jaykyle. Please. I’m also a major sucker for those
(aalghul’s main blog)
don't mind if I DO
so this is a canon divergence AU where Jason, as part of his whole crime lord thing, puts people under his protection. kids, specifically. street kids with nowhere else to go, orphans, kids who have been kicked out, kids on the run, etc. (this is the part based on my friend's fic that got me thinking about this btw.) he finds a place for them to stay. an old warehouse gets fixed up and furnished, and there's a small kitchen area, a dining room, bedrooms for the kids. they don't have to stay permanently; in fact, most don't. they come and go as they please and stay as long as they like, because Jason doesn't think kids should "age out" of a place to stay. there are a handful of regulars who don't have anywhere else to go so it's more of a permanent home for them, but there's also a lot of kids who stay for a few days and then leave again. Jason keeps the kitchen and pantry stocked with food and makes sure there's enough beds and blankets for everyone, and he keeps those streets safe from any other crime boss who might be muscling in on his territory. (he also keeps the Bats out because a lot of those kids might be hiding from them too)
he starts out being their distant and kinda intimidating protector, but eventually he ends up being the Dad of the entire group. he makes sure they get to where they need to go safely and plays board games with them sometimes etc etc because those kids grew on him, ok?! most of them have never had a positive experience w parents or have never had anyone to take care of them and he has the means to be able to at least give them a safe place to sleep and---oh my god he's turned into Bruce
fast forward to the final crisis shit, Kyle and Jason became....not Friends, per se, but Allies. people who are (usually) on the same side and can (usually) work together. anyway after that fun little adventure those three (Kyle Jason Donna) kinda just...check in every so often. make sure everyone's ok. they've been through a lot together so they just like to make sure nobody's dead or needs help (I don't think they ever interacted as a group after the search for ray palmer shit which is a CRIME.) anyway Kyle comes back from space and shows up to Gotham for the Annual Obligatory Check-In only to find that Jason has an entire warehouse full of kids. and now Kyle sees a completely different side of Jason that's....not softer than before, but gentler. he's still the fucking Red Hood, and comes home with blood and gunpowder on his clothes, but he also reads to some of the younger kids when they can't fall asleep. he walks the girls to school so nobody tries anything with them. he helps with homework and makes sure everyone's eaten enough.
after the first few visits the kids figured out that Kyle was friendly, and gave him the same treatment they gave Jason: treating him like a jungle gym. they found out Kyle could draw and make shit with his ring and they realized he was Really Cool. once they figured out he'd been to space it was all over. suddenly Kyle was the coolest adult in the world. even cooler than Jason.
so of course Kyle has to keep showing up to the warehouse or he'll disappoint the kids!!!!
and thus begins a new rivalry between them: who can be the Coolest Dad
in the meantime they're slooooowly falling in love and dancing around each other because "he only keeps coming for the kids it's not me" and "he has an entire horde of people to take care of he doesn't have time or energy for me" and like. watching each other interact/care for the kids in their own specific ways and sharing a space (because Kyle started staying at the warehouse because it's hard to pay rent when he's in space most of the time) and just. Being In Each Other's Space All The Time. them falling in love was inevitable, really. but because they're Like That they're dancing around the subject like the world's biggest elephant in the room
meanwhile all the kids just Know. they're sitting there watching this proverbial mating dance like "oh COOL we have TWO superhero dads now!!!"
some scenes that this fic will include (assuming I ever get my shit together enough to WRITE it):
- one of the kids being mugged on the street and the poor criminal immediately getting curbstomped by Red Hood AND Green Lantern
- Jason and Kyle cooking dinner together (because I'm a slut for domestic vibes don't touch me)
- Jason braiding the girls' hair and calling the kids petnames
- Jason sending Kyle pics and selfies of the kids while he's away in space and Kyle saving all of them <3
- Kyle bringing space souvenirs for the kids (they go absolutely buckwild over them)
- one of the girls (an orphan) having a Daddy-Daughter Date at school and she asks Jason to come as her dad (he cries)
- Kyle tying Jason's tie before he leaves for said Daddy-Daughter Date
basically this whole fic is just
Jason: I gotta take care of my kids
Kyle:
"our kids"
in my notes again. holy SHIT I was cooking with this one
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comic books are so crazy because there's a guy out there writing comic books who worked for the cia and took partial credit for the us invasion of iraq and his entire catalogue of works is somehow less overtly racist, sexist, and homophobic than a single run written by a nonbinary person with multiple glaad media award nominations
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The Green Lantern/Green Arrow: World’s Finest Special reunites Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan for a story from the past featuring Deathstroke the Assassin. It’s by Jeremy Adams and Lucas Meyer, and also features a back-up Barry Allen Flash story by Adams and Travis Mercer. Cover by Dan Mora.
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get to know me: (15/20) friendships ♡ mick and leonard (legends of tomorrow) “We trusted one another. We were friends. We had each other’s backs.”
Source: adamruzek
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Anonymous asked:
don't know if u answered this b4, but who do u think is responsible for jasons death? i say bruce but i was curious what your thoughts are on it
did you forget about the Joker or
this child was purposefully run over by some guy in a truck while he was playing at the park. is the fault of the child who didn't see the truck coming, the adult who brought him to the park, or the person driving the truck who went out of his way to run over and kill a child? impossible to know where to assign the blame.
genuinely cannot stop thinking about this. "who do u think is responsible for Jason's death" girl, the guy who killed him!!!!!
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random sketch to end the night
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hay arcane! your astral plane scenes look cool! mind if i use some of those on kyle?
alt:
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First of all I don’t consider this retcon canon as far as I’m concerned this happened in alternate pocket universe and Chuck Dixon can suck my nuts, that being said— this version of Jason should’ve reported Bruce to the fbi for this
laughing at the fact that Chuck Dixon is so classist that he looked at Bruce and Jason’s original meeting and was like “this homeless child didn’t get punished enough for stealing I need to fix this immediately”
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My ideal beginning to a Batman movie:
We start with a slow pan down to Gotham as Oracle narrates
“Ask your average person who Gotham’s most famous citizen is, and you’ll get the same response every time: Bruce Wayne. Everybody’s heard of Bruce Wayne. You’ve probably heard his name a million times before. But there are some things that the average citizen doesn’t know about him. See, to the people of Gotham, Bruce Wayne is a rich kid who never grew up. They think he’s a buffoon, an airhead, a moron. But the truth is…”
*Batman bursts out of a window, screaming, on fire*
*record scratch, freeze frame*
“…they aren’t entirely wrong about that.”
EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
This is then followed by a series of clips from interviews with various Gotham citizens, all of whom give humorously ironic descriptions of Bruce Wayne’s idiocy:
“Bruce Wayne? I hear the guy gets through a super-car every month! Replaces every one, just like that!”
*Cut to shot of the Batmobile flipping end-over-end after slamming into one of Bane’s APCs*
“Wayne? Please! The guy would probably have accidentally killed himself years ago if he didn’t have that butler to babysit him!” *Cut to Alfred physically restraining Bruce from going out to fight Scarecrow while having a broken arm, a concussion, and the flu,*
“I bet he throws away cash like it grows on trees!”
*Cut to Batman shouting “Hey, Lucius! Ask R&D to make some kryptonite/Nth metal alloy baterangs! Y’know, just in case!”
“I’m almost jealous. Super rich and he gets to hang out with gorgeous women across the world? Sign me up!”
*Cut to Bruce being slammed face first into a wall repeatedly by Lady Shiva.*
@smut-smut-in-the-butt this seems like something you’d be interested in
This is the Batman I long for.
prev, I think you’re the only goddamn person who understood this post
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They need to introduce the concept of "women" to the dc fandom
I'm saddened to inform you that this was posted because someone suggested that Clark would celebrate christmas with the male batkids and not like. Lois or Kara.