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#lgbtq+ – @savethesvmulet on Tumblr
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hoenn girl

@savethesvmulet / savethesvmulet.tumblr.com

umbreon. 18. en&es. misty stan. used to be savethesamulet.
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asynca

With my own eyes, I just saw a lesbian on twitter say she was being oppressed by asexual folks because their flag is everywhere, and it’s asexual people’s fault that lesbians are now ‘the last on the conveyor belt in the LGBT community’.

Like. Dude, if you need a scapegoat for your suffering, capitalism is right there. Institutionalized religion is also a great contender. Saying asexuals caused all your suffering because their flag is slightly older and therefore more recognisable than yours is like. my god, have a snickers. 

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slightmayhem

No. No. If they want a scapegoat, turn to the TERFs. There was a perfectly good lesbian flag that was well known in the 90s, that nobody uses anymore because the TERFs took it over. It was known and used before the ace flag was a glimmer. You want to be pissed, get pissed at the part of your own community who is trying to set up walls. Take that shit back if you want it. Use it while holding signs of trans sisterhood. You gave your flag up and are looking for recognition for a new one. That’s why your flag isn’t well recognized yet. Signed a transgender man, former part of the lesbian community for ~14 years.

You want to be pissed, get pissed at the part of your own community who is trying to set up walls.

This is so important.

We need a tag or shorthand phrase for “that thing where the TERF/SWERF/radfem crowd invades lesbian communities, makes it seem like any attack on them is an attack on the lesbian community, drinks all the punch, poops on the floor and leaves the next generation growing up without symbols or a cohesive community”, because it’s fucking happening again.

This is the older lesbian flag, the one that got grabbed by radfems / TERFs / SWERFs and that very few anti-radfem / anti-TERF lesbians ever made a concerted effort to reclaim. The Labrys flag:

It was created in 1999, eleven years before the creation and popularization of the ace flag. That gets thoroughly ignored, because it’s not convenient to the radfem rhetoric of ‘lesbians are the most oppressed members of the community EVER’ (uhhh…. trans women of color would like a word? Trans people in general? I’m not even going to get into m-spec people and every study so far showing that our parameters re: everything from rates of sexual violence to poverty are much worse than those of both straight and gay people, because that’s not the topic of this post).

I want to be very clear on this. When a young lesbian who’s been brainwashed by radfems says that ‘lesbians are the last on the conveyor belt in the LGBT community’, what she means is ludicrous nonsense such as this:

  • all those ace pride flags? They should be lesbian pride flags instead, because under her beliefs, lesbians deserve absolute prioritization over other members of the community, on the basis of being ‘most oppressed’
  • the community being seen as a coalition of EQUALS IN MUTUAL SOLIDARITY isn’t acceptable (at least not at more than shallow, declarative level), because acknowledging equality of marginalized orientations and refusing to build the community under a hierarchy is seen as ‘de-centering lesbians’
  • remember what radfems actually said, in opposition to ‘queer’ as a term? ‘Queer de-centers and erases lesbians / lumps lesbians in with bisexuals and deluded men (hella transphobic code for trans women) and stops them short of naming their actual homosexuality.’ Changing the discourse to be solely about personal harm was a move of genius
  • attention being given to issues that affect ace/aro people / activism for ace/aro people automatically takes away valuable time, valuable resources and valuable effort, that should have been spent on lesbian issues instead – therefore, any sort of ace/aro-centric work and the presence of ace/aro people is harmful to lesbians.
  • hell, attention being given to issues that affect bi/pan people / activism for bi/pan people automatically takes away valuable time, valuable resources and valuable effort, that should have been spent on lesbian issues instead – therefore, any sort of bi/pan-centric work and the presence of bi/pan people (particularly ones that aren’t ‘SGA’) is harmful to lesbians
  • insert the exact same thing about nonbinary / genderqueer people, about trans people (though most of the Usual Suspects haven’t quite gotten to the point of open and blatant transphobia), about intersex people (it’s my theory that this is at the base of that sudden and widespread campaign of ‘drop the I, intersex people are making their own community’, even in the face of many intersex people who fought like hell for their right to remain included and to keep the letter. Some, like @vergess, got rewarded for their effort by being called ‘pedophiles’ and being run off Tumblr)

And I could keep going! The spearhead of radfem infiltration within lesbian communities if two-fold – one, the rhetoric of ‘you are the most oppressed and any sort of attention being paid to these superfluous identities directly harms you’ and two, the notion that radfems are the ultimate champions of lesbian rights, the ones who will make certain that lesbians are always centered and prioritized. That’s how you end up with large recruitment into radfem ranks of young, inexperienced lesbians, who (naturally) feel flattered, protected and prioritized. That’s how radfems can shield themselves of criticism for their fuckery, by saying that any criticism of radfem rhetoric is an direct attack on lesbians. That’s how you end up with wankery such as ‘TERF is a slur used to demonize lesbians.’ It’s my prediction that in several years’ time, the currently-in-use lesbian flag (the lipstick one) will end up as much of a widespread symbol of radfems as the older Labrys flag, in the exact same way that the other flag was taken over.  

What’s the solution? Widespread acknowledgement that no one is owed automatic centering solely on the basis of their identity and that the community wasn’t created to serve the needs of predominantly one or two groups. Thorough education on what ‘equality’ and ‘solidarity’ actually mean in the context of the struggle against cis-perisex-heteronormativity and actually implementing them in practice, rather than keeping them on as empty buzzwords. Acknowledgement that just because one has suffered under oppression, it doesn’t mean that others haven’t as well and that acknowledging and fighting against the oppression others deal with doesn’t lessen or ignore one’s own.

That is such a lovely flag, though. Someone please shove a trans icon on top and reclaim it as an inclusionist lesbian symbol.

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thesaltyace

Like this?

YES, PERFECT, THANK YOU

This post was needed

This is the flag I was talking about before!

I fucking love the labrys flag and have refused for a long time to let terfs fuckin have it. I use it and am aggressively pro-trans. I use it and AM trans (nonbinary). I love the one with the trans icon on it, it’s not good for small renditions but HECK YEAH terfs don’t get to steal our symbols, terfs don’t get to dictate our beliefs, FUCK TERFS, THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY PLACE IN LESBIAN SPACES.

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biaesthetc

Bi Culture

We bisexuals don’t get enough rep in mainstream media and I feel like this contributes to the feeling that we don’t have a distinct culture. But! We do! Bis let’s get together and make some bi culture happen. Here’s my start of what bi culture is…

  • Cuffed jeans
  • Tucked in shirts
  • Bisexual flag!
  • Finger guns
  • Double thumbs up
  • Awkward standing
  • Not being able to sit straight/ putting our feet up on anything and everything
  • Leather jackets
  • Striped shirts
  • Overalls
  • Bonus: bi people are always the coolest people in the room. Always.
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acesapphic

Ready for a long ace-centric metaphor about sex? 

Alright, so. Coffee. I don’t drink coffee. I have no desire to drink coffee. I find people who enthusiastically go on about the flavor differences of lattes, espressos, and french press brews, both amusing and mildly baffling. All the coffee ads. Coffee jokes. Bustling coffee shops. To me, all coffee is similarly bitter and unpleasant. I have been through so many “Try this, it’s sweet! You can’t even taste the coffee!”  Alas, I always can. And I’m  sensitive to caffeine anyway. So, I don’t really think about drinking it when I wake up or am tired.

 Yet I love the smell of coffee. I love the idea of coffee. The feeling of a warm cup taking the chill from my fingers, the cozy ritual of having a drink and chat. I might try someone’s coffee. If they ask, if I want to please them and share in something they enjoy. I am also perfectly capable of learning the preferences of those I care about and creating a cup for their pleasure. 

But I don’t want coffee, generally speaking. I will probably make a face after trying their coffee and wash the taste out with something else. They may rush to reassure me that it is an acquired taste. And I’ll have to reply that it’s a taste I don’t particularly care about acquiring in the way they did. ‘Drink it till you like it’ will never work for me.

 But that doesn’t mean I am against coffee or think people shouldn’t drink it. Doesn’t mean I’ve taken a vow to never drink any. And sure, maybe if you get one of those sugar and whipped cream disasters, more of a warm milkshake than a cup of coffee, I’ll probably be happier sipping it with you. But honestly? I’d rather smell someone else’s coffee and not be expected to drink it. I’d really rather have the heat and sweetness of my hot cocoa. 

I love this

The best part is it works for ALLLL the ace spectrum! Maybe you like one specific type of coffee on rare occasions! Maybe you enjoy coffee when you’re sharing the drink with someone! Maybe you can’t even stand the smell of coffee!

This needs to be on my blog.

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crazy-pages

This is it exactly oh my god.

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kimmycup

I will always reblog it when it comes back to my dash because I am both asexual and don’t like coffee and the funny thing is that people genuinely can be most baffled about the coffee.

Usually, when I tell people I don’t drink alcohol they are fine, but when I tell them I don’t drink coffee they just stare at me weirdly. And this, in a way, can also be a metaphor for asexuality. Hopefully less so. 

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ladyredflame

@steverogersnotebook this is like finding the piece of a puzzle I was looking for for ages!

@ladyredflame I’m glad you found it. I debated reblogging it so soon after whenever I did last, but I figured; 1: if I can’t remember when ‘whenever’ is, it’s time and B: somebody needs to see it.

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I wanna tell you guys a story,

Not too long ago, my friend Bella came out as aromantic to me, and now I’ve got some things to say.

I was the one who told her what aromantic means, because I was explaining different sexual orientations to her. I remember saying, “Asexualiy is when you have romantic attraction, but no sexual attraction.”

Bella immedently, without missing a beat, asked, “Is there an opposite to that?”

I asked what she meant, and she asked if there was a term for sexual attraction but no romantic attraction. I told her about aromantics. She got weirdly quiet, then excused herself.

Not two weeks later I was heading to my boat. I was supposed to meet Bella and another one of our muteral friends there for a day of fishing.

As soon as I was in earshot, I saw Bella storming off the boat, and our other friend standing there like an idiot. Boi had no idea what was happening.

Anyway, Bella isn’t looking where she’s going and walks smack dab into me. That’s when I realized she was crying. Puffy red eyes, wet cheeks, the whole nine yards… And if you know anything about Bells, she does not cry. Ever.

She’s been through some serious crap in her life, and she does not cry. She’s tough as nails. Bella has a steel core. She does not not cry. I’ve seen her fall off a roof and break her arm before, not a single tear. I can’t stress this enough, Bella. Doesn’t. Cry.

So seeing her in tears shook me. I took her by the shoulders and escorted her somewhere more private where we could talk. We ended up in the women’s restroom, which was weird as fuck for me, because haven’t been in a woman’s rest room for years. Luckily it was empty, and I’m realistic, I know I don’t pass so well, so I don’t think anyone would have said anything anyway.

Before I can even ask her what’s wrong she hugs me around my middle and burys her face in my hoodie. Then, in a voice I can only describe as traumatized, she says, “I think I’m broken.”

I’ve never seen her in so much pain, and Bella and I are CLOSE. She’s one of my dearest friends. She’s like my little sister, but if she’s like my sister, our other muteral friend is like her twin. He and Bella have know each other WAY longer, they’re practically inseparable. They come as a pair. They’re a duo. They’re a package deal.

Appearently, said muteral friend asked Bella out and forcefully kissed her. She shoved him off, and told him she’s aromantic, which she only recently figured out. She wasn’t ready to be out, but this muteral friend left her no choice. She tried telling him no, and he didn’t listen. Bella saw no other option.

Quote on quote, this is what he said to Bella. “That’s okay. You just haven’t dated me yet. We’ve been like, unofficially together for years. You’re probably just freaked out that it’s finally going somewhere.”

After that I’m not 100% clear on what happened, but apparently Bella kept saying no Nd trying to explain herself, but he kept insisting he could ‘fix her.’

Eventudally she started crying and stormed away. That’s when I found her.

Keep in mind, this was her first experience coming out, and her best, closest friend insisted he could fix her and forcefully kissed her. I found out later he also implied corrective rape would ‘solve the problem.’

Bella was traumatized. She’s still traumatized. I tried to make her feel better by buying her an aro pride shirt, and taking her go a local LGBTQ+ hang out. I wanted her to be around like minded people, so she could see she wasn’t broken, and her identity deserved to be respected.

Instead of a warm, welcoming environment… The first thing someone said to her was, “This place is for REAL lgbt people. You don’t belong here.” He also implied she wasn’t human.

Just think about that for a minute. Her first experiences with being an out aromantic have been limited to;

  1. A person she trusted more than anyone forcing himself upon her, claiming she was ill, and needed to be fixed. (Raped.)
  2. Sobbing in my arms in the women’s restroom because she thought she was broken and defective.
  3. Being told she wasn’t welcomed in LGBTQ+ spaces and called inhuman.

This isn’t what I want for her. Bella deserves better than this. She needs a support system, not all this crap. I’ve spent the past week trying to undo all the damage exclusionists, arophobes, and people she trusted did.

Aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQ+ community. You literally cannot change my mind.

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akamine-chan

Did I already queue this? Dunno. But let me say that I’ve never stood by while gatekeepers try to well, gatekeep.

I didn’t put up with it as a teenager really into sci-fi, I didn’t put up with it from the dude bros in game and comic shops, and I certainly won’t stand for it in my LGBT+ community.

Aces and aros are welcome in my community.

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nylaporp

You bet your ass that aces and aros are allowed here. And you can fight me if you don’t agree.

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jdowzell

Asexuals and Aromantics are ABSOLUTELY allowed in the LGBTQIA2+ spaces. Absolutely. And any follower who disagrees with me can unfollow, because I don’t need that negativity in my life.

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spaci1701

The simple discovery that demisexual wad a thing changed my life. For the first time I didn’t feel broken. I will fight for anyone to have the support and acceptance to accept themselves.

You can fight me all you want on how true this is, but I’ll slam your ass all the way to the moon and back. Don’t test me.

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thequeervet

I can’t stand this whole ‘not real’ mindset. How dare anyone say that someone isn’t welcome? Asexuals and aromantics will always be welcome with me and mine, and I won’t put up with anyone who thinks to say otherwise. We’re supposed to be welcoming people, not denying their existence or rights or validation the way that so many straights have done to us.

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