If you had a million dollars

you could buy a jar of name brand peanut butter & throw it off a bridge & then buy another jar of peanut butter & you better believe you could throw that shit off a bridge too!

Reylo fam, this bares reminding: Don’t crosstag a post that doesn’t have to do with celebrating a ship. Especially if you’re crosstagging to gloat at the perceived sinking of the Finnrey ship. It’s childish and mean-spirited. 

I understand the excitement but in that excitement you should remember what’s it like to be on the other end. Just a little while ago we faced our own crisis with Reylo and antis took advantage of it to make fun of us and it was hell. Turning around and doing the same to other ships is bad form and hypocritical. 

Yes, you may say that that tweet and the leaked photos are further evidence in our favor. I think that’s fair. But we cross a line when we choose to rub it in people’s faces. We all know the heartbreak of a ship not being canon. Besides there is no guarantee that Reylo will be canon and one can still argue that Finnrey can go from friendship to romance if they wanted to. So this isn’t even a cut and dry victory for us. 

Please don’t make fandom more of a hellish place than it already is. There’s no need. You can rejoice in this news without being an asshole about it. Just a have a small modicum of decorum and common sense.

shipping wars are so bizarre to me, like…… you expect me……….. to have only one ship………….. per fandom………………. in this economy???

JJ Abrams: They had a target for a son. Someone was watching their boy. And his parents weren’t around enough to guide him.

Tell me again how Kylo had a wonderful childhood and is not an abuse victim. I fucking dare you.

I also often see the argument of “Rey and Finn were alone and didn’t become murderers. At least he had parents who loved him. He had a family and still turned into a murderer.” And that bothers me on a personal level… because there are a lot of people who have parents who love them… but that doesn’t mean their home life is perfect. Parents can mean well but don’t go about things right. It doesn’t mean that nothing can go wrong. Just because you HAVE family that say they love you, it doesn’t hold much weight if they’re never there enough to show it. It doesn’t hold much weight if you don’t quite feel accepted around people who should love you. Just because you grow up with people around you doesn’t make it impossible for you to feel lonely or out of place. Now top that with being born with abnormaly strong supernatural powers and some voice creeping into your head from god knows what age, praying on every insecurity, every weakness… You don’t think that all that can affect a kid? Especially when they tend to internalize everything. There’s a lot of self hate there. That stays with them for a very long time. Sometimes their whole life. He was bound to fall at some point, I’m suprised he lasted 20+ years. Yeah, Ben Solo probably had a really good childhood early on. But we aren’t sure. Not 100%. We’ve only heard things from Leia’s perspective. We don’t know the whole story through Ben’s own eyes. For all we know, he could be keeping a lot to himself. He most likely is. Trying to be as normal on the outside as he can be. Parents fuck up. It happens. It doesn’t make them bad people. Han and Leia are not bad people. But for people to shift ALL the blame to their son and act like they didn’t have any part whatsoever in Ben’s fall is just wrong. It wasn’t intentional, but they did have a part in it. Whether they knew it or not. It’s sad to say because we love them and they’re the OTP. But they’re not perfect. And that’s okay. Han, Leia, Luke, Snoke and Ben himself all had a part as far as we know. It’s a whole complicated web of events that we know nothing of yet. All we have are two quotes by JJ and Adam that makes it pretty damn clear. Despite what you think of Kylo Ren now, Ben was a victim. He was a target. Snoke’s been with him all this time and still has him in his grip. Just because he HAS living family doesn’t make his struggle any less valid. Kylo, Finn and Rey have all suffered in different ways. And PEOPLE are different. Even if we share the same circumstances not all of us will come out of it exactly the same.  The world isn’t just black and white. This isn’t a competition about who got it worse. You can’t pit these three’s circumstances against eachother and compare. Because they’re different people. Different people who have experienced different kinds of loneliness and pain and have dealt with it differently. Because they’re different.

This. A lot of well-meaning parents end up ruining their kids. And the “Rey and Finn went through worse and turned out fine so Ben has no excuse!!!” argument is so flawed and insulting.

Saying that Rey and Finn are the expected standard for abuse and neglect survival completely disregards the fact that by any measure, those two should be SUBSTANTIALLY more fucked up than they’re depicted to be. “They turned out fine” because they’re idealized heroic characters in a film. Very, VERY few survivors make it to the other side with such minimal impact. I can’t relate to them at all as a child abuse survivor. I CAN relate to Kylo’s helpless rage, self-hatred, and instability.

Exactly. People want me to be Rey and Finn. They want my abuse to have had minimal to no effect on me as a person. But my abuse changed fundamental parts of me that can never be unchanged. I have never related to a character as much as I do Kylo Ren. (Aside from Sansa Stark, but that is an entirely different story.)

I have parents and a sister and I know they love me, but they weren’t there for me when the abuse was going on.

(Also, Rey and Finn *did* kill people in the film. So technically, they are murderers. But that’s just one of many problems with this idea that they’re perfect and Kylo is evil.)

There is a lot of societal ableism at play here too. Heroes in stories go through a lot of toil and experience horrible things - yet, they are written as neurotypical when by all rights they really shouldn’t be. The horrid things in your past aren’t supposed to affect you, after all, that would make you weak. You don’t believe this? Just look at every action movie ever. 

Why? Because neurotypical people are deeply uncomfortable with neurodivergent peeps. So they invented this narrative where somebody goes through trauma but quickly bounces back to neurotypical default. See, this hero went through the same shit you did, yet they came out fine! Why can’t you do the same? 

Mental illness is so stigmatised that heroes are never allowed to exhibit realistic symptoms of trauma.

Villains, though? They can go all the way. They are perfect examples of a neurotypical’s idea of how a “bad” reaction to trauma looks like - meaning, anything not fitting into the box of “neurotypical”.

There is a reason why people latched on to Kylo Ren as hate object #1. There’s a reason why people don’t have that problem with Snoke, who is by all standards a much more horrible person. There is a reason why fans who find themselves resonating with Kylo Ren on some level get attacked, called names, get ostracised by the fandom.

I really don’t think I need to spell this reason out again.

i am so tired of men having to give me their Opinions on Everything

How horribly offended would everyone be if I said this about women.

Well apparently you got horribly offended at someone saying this about men (enough so that you made this ridiculous addition), so at the very least the answer would be “probably not as much as your whiny ass self.”

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️