Dammit Jim.

We all love our non!human Jaskier headcanons but imagine if instead of Jaskier kept it a secret with lots of reveal angst Jaskier just....assumes Geralt knows?

Like Witcher’s have AMAZING senses and Geralt can smell someone’s freakin emotional state so of course he would notice Jaskier is not completely human. However Jaskier does not realize that Geralt just doesn’t notice anything off at first and just never picks up on it. I mean it makes sense, Geralt didn’t realize Borch was a dragon either.

So Jaskier is going about his life assuming Geralt knows he’s not human so he doesn’t bother hide any of his not so human traits. Like, he doesn’t really age? Cool, that’s normal, why would he mention it. His eyes sometimes seem brighter in the dark? Whatever. He survives more injuries and can handle more than most humans? Par for the course

Meanwhile Geralt just thinks he’s traveling with a completely normal human and doesn’t realize most humans has much more self-preservation than his bard and surviving all the shit they go through also isn’t normal.

So then Geralt shows up at Kaer Morhen with Jaskier And Vesemir is all, “Geralt why would you bring a potentially dangerous creature into the keep?” And Geralt is all “Don’t worry, Ciri is learning to control her powers” and Vesemir is like “I’m talking about the bard”

And instead of the normally angry hidden secret conversation Geralt Angrily confronts Jaskier

“Why would you lie to me for 20 years?”

Jaskier is just really confused and has no idea what Geralt is talking about “....what? Alright, maybe I don’t like your squirrel soup but you always seem so happy to cook and I didn’t want to insult you!!”

“I’m talking about you not being human, Damnnit Jaskier!”

“I thought you knew? I haven’t exactly hidden it from you”

And then come the very awkward pausing due to neither of them knowing where to go next cause they can’t exactly blame each other.

Crisis averted, comedy of errors, timeless

college au where everyone is afraid of geralt bc he looks scary and wears all black and doesn’t talk to anyone and doesn’t show up to class all the time and ppl think he’s like. definitely done something illegal, like killed someone. 

but when ppl do see him around campus, he’s always with jaskier, his very mismatched boyfriend

and ppl always comes up with theories about how he and jaskier, his sunshine lollipops and very musically and socially talented boyfriend got together

someone says jaskier’s loud mouth got him in trouble and geralt saved him, like some fairytale and it was love at first sight

another says jaskier’s the one who saved geralt bc they saw jaskier throw a bottle at a guy for making a snarky comment about his boyfriend and jaskier’s definitely the scary one i swear it guys

others say jaskier is some sort of rich boy and geralt’s his bodyguard bc his family wouldn’t let him go to college for music unless he’s got a babysitter

in reality they’re both huge nerds who met at a Renaissance faire when history major geralt said jaskier’s hat is tacky and his doublet shouldn’t be That unbuttoned, i can see your undershirt and jaskier was like “why are you looking at my unbuttoned doublet, my eyes are up here oh no ur hot”

just wanted to make sure that everyone knows the young Dunkirk cast has a whatsapp group chat called “Funkirk”

au where nile dawk owns a little coffee shop and erwin smith opens up a starbucks franchise right in front of it

I need to practice my ps…

Notting hill AU!!!!!Alex the singer & Tommy the flower shop owner~For my friend’s fanfic story!

[liam] *hugs Louis*

[louis] “replay”

just think about louis holding freddie before his flight to london and saying, “it’s just for a little while, daddy will be back before you know it” while he’s trying to hold back some tears

OKAY BUT

louis handing freddie off to a very anxious liam and liam just sort of sitting there like oh no for 2.5 seconds because he doesn’t want to move the wrong way and unsettle this beautiful precious and perfect little bundle of joy and then freddie just sort of stares at him and liam coo’s softly and grabs at his hand and freddie holds onto his finger and louis is looking on at his sun watching his world and his life feels every kind of complete and serene for 20 solid seconds

THEY ABOUT TO DO IT

think about how tightly liam and louis will hug each other when they reunite

What if the real reason Louis chose to learn how to play guitar over the break is so that he can sing lullabies to his new baby?

knowing that louis probably said “hey little lad” to the baby already has me in mush