disease & danger in kirk's pants

The Wait.

Shape shifting

Neither romantic nor sexual nor platonic but a secret fourth thing (bonded like stray cats who cannot be adopted separately)

Does he mean anything to you

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust

Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily

Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?

Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.

Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?

Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that

Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.

Me: I uh. Did not let go.

You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships

People on tumblr will just say anything huh.

Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.

Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?

This website is free

We pay in other ways.

Yeah, that's a normal way to do that.

parents got a new cat they named lord montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say "i would have to advise against that decision, my lord" followed by a crashing sound

fucking hate how cats think they can mrrp their way out of anything because yeah, they fucking can.

He's just checking his email.

cats don't even unstick their claws out of things anymore they will just sit there with their claw stuck in a blanket and look at you like this until you unstick it for them

Nobody wants to work anymore

Rainbow mo

Hi I paint your cat wet hands style

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LOOK AT MY KITTEN IN MY SLIPPY

[Image description: a white kitten with a gray spot on their head is snuggled up and sleeping in a black slipper they only just fit in. End description.]