sashene

Wayne, Grayson, and Kent

One off Superman story where Clark Kent gets classically abducted by aliens in the farm so said aliens can find out more information about human biology and Clark's just like *sucks in air through his teeth* so about that....

Clark using this moment to be the funniest motherfucked in the galaxy: sorry about that guys. I do have a human friend that would probably volunteer though. His name is John Jones!

you love this world/you're willing to die protecting it

Need everyone to see this variant cover by Kris Anka immediately

the implication that clark brought bruce back to his fortress, alone, to bathe together in booty shorts in a tiny little hot tub. the Bat-cowl, which is giving extreme "me wearing sunglasses so no one can see where i'm looking". clark's little smile. i'm going insane

Everybody talks about how Silver Age Superman is a dick, but a less remarked-upon quirk of the era’s writing is that Silver Age Lois Lane is obsessed with proving that Clark Kent is Superman specifically because she’s convinced if she does, he’ll be obligated to marry her.

Initially it’s implied to be a blackmail thing, but later Silver Age writers seem to have forgotten that and taken “Clark Kent must marry Lois Lane if she discovers his secret identity” as an axiomatic rule, to the point that Kent would often voice worries that he’d be forced to marry other characters who were close to putting the pieces together – regardless of whether they’d expressed any interest in the first place!

Now, do you know which character apart from Lois Lane has the best track record for figuring out that Clark Kent is Superman across all the various reboots, elseworlds, and miscellaneous adaptations?

That’s right: Batman.

So, logically

“I wanted to create a dialogue about equality by taking the two most alpha male superheroes and placing them in this embrace.” — Rich Simmons

“It shouldn’t matter who a person is, who they love, what they believe or where they come from, being a hero transcends all that. We should judge our fellow humans by the way they treat others and not by who they share a bed with."

Works on canvas

Mural in London

@createscene

i know in my heart of hearts clark kent has a thinkpiece saved to a secure hard drive or tucked away in a notebook somewhere about, like, the alien immigrant experience and all the shit he’s had to let slide over the years. it’s like a very polished diary entry that happens to span a 30-something’s entire life

he’s very sure it would do numbers on twitter and whenever he gets scared someone’s going to figure him out and expose him he thinks to himself, “at least i can finally publish that thinkpiece”

like he’s a professional and furthermore a survivor of a mass extinction event, it’s a pretty riveting read that’s not particularly ripe for mockery unless you know him personally and can navigate that sensitive shit, but good lord is it in need of an editor and his immediate thought after “at least i can finally publish that thinkpiece” is “oh god perry’s gonna rip it to shreds”

#the creeping horror of not having an editor for his thinkpiece is what actually gets him to tell lois he’s superman#clark bursting into lois’ office at two in the morning (doing her own edits) dropping that he’s superman and begs for editting help on the#to never be published thinkpiece#lois: …alright i want to be mad about the years of lies BUT i want that paper more gimme (@wanderingthyme)

fly fly away

had this sketch in my files for so long now finally had the motivation to finish it :D

oh god sudden thought

so as per various DC social media concepts Clark has a Superman twitter where he posts left-leaning but fairly safe & tame stuff e.g. happy pride from Superman. Clark Kent also has his own twitter account where he posts his actual opinion.

what happens if uh. what happens if he forgets which account he's logged into.

scenario 1: what's clearly an official Superman post pops up on some rando journalist's twitter and is noticed before he can delete it. leads to controversy when people conclude that Superman has hired this Clark Kent person to do his social media. Clark now has to deal w the fact that everyone thinks he's Superman's social media manager. employers at the Daily Planet very confused as to why he didn't tell them about his side gig

scenario 2: world wakes up to Superman tweeting about how he hates the police

actually subtler but possibly funnier scenario:

Clark wouldn't actually be absent-minded enough to tweet on the wrong account but one evening sleepily goes through and likes a bunch of tweets and the next morning wakes up to everyone screenshotting Superman's liked tweets like HUH? HUH???

it's a mix of:

i think if supes liked a cool tweet about police and got drafted into the culture wars clark kent would have fun with it

I really don't like any version of "Jason learns one tiny fact about how people reacted to his death and immediately is crushed by how unfair he was being and forgives everyone!!!"

However there is one version of this I would allow due to it being very funny, not a complete waste of his character potential, and close to providing real evidence of something that would let him give Bruce a pass:

Superman realizes who the Red Hood is and why he's gunning for Batman and decides to try to straighten things out before the end of Under the Red Hood. He flies over to him and explains that he was the one stopping Bruce from killing the Joker. This gets understood as Supes being the reason Batman still can't kill him. Then Jason immediately pivots his entire life to becoming a Superman villain.

Bruce gets a phonecall: "Hi Dad, I forgive you, and I'm gonna need that 100 pounds of kryptonite back right fucking now."

Jason says 'I'll come back home if you help me destroy superman' and poor, grieving Bruce Wayne has to decide how far he can go while helping Jason without corrupting his morals.

Jason: I want to shoot him with kryptonian bullets. In the face.

Bruce, desperately wants to bond with his son but can't kill people: ok now hear me out. we toilet paper his house.

people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman

I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together

what is he worried Lois will see

people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do

When Lois finds out she thinks it’s hilarious, and when someone finally tries to ‘break it to her’, she’s all ready. 

“Oh, I know.”

“You… know?”

“Neither of them would ever lie to me.” 

“So… *gears frantically spinning* this is like some kind of threesome thing?” 

“Oh! No, no, no, absolutely not. *Lois pauses and grins the most lascivious grin she can produce* I just… watch.” 

Clark gets a lot of very weird looks that day that he can’t understand at all. 

@elidyce​ no, no, no. don’t hide a shit-stirring bruce and chaotic lois in the tags. this is an important addition, too. just gives that final touch that’s dearly needed to really complete this, y’know?

son boy 2.0

you’re twelve years old and you break your father’s hand when he hi-fives you. the first thing you learn is that the smallest slip up can hurt the people you love. your (foster) father smiles and says it’s okay (it’s not). 

your parents are not your parents. the idyllic farming community that raised you is not your home. you’re a You-Don’t-Know-What from You-Don’t-Know-Where. all you know for sure is that you’re not human. 

so you can fly. so you can run fast. so you can lift cars. so what? why do you even have this power? what should you even do with it? 

your father said do what’s right, so that’s what you do. 

you stop a robbery. the man’s knife shatters against your skin and you see the same fear in his eyes that you saw in your father’s when you were twelve. you catch a falling child before it can hit the water. his mother looks at you like you’re a god. 

they love you, even though they don’t know you. the most powerful man in the world hates you because they love you. 

you wanted to write when you were younger. you wanted to tell stories that needed to be told. you never wanted to star in them. you never wanted super-geniuses and demi-goddesses looking to you for advice; like you have any idea how to handle threats to reality itself. you’re just a kid from smallville who’s trying to do the best he can with what he’s given. 

you try and get back to the farm as much as you can. it feels normal being back among the open wheat; where everyone smiles because you’re that nice Kent boy. 

when you were younger, you pretended to fly, hands out to your sides and running through the tall grass by the river. it doesn’t look as beautiful from on high; the details get lost and the colors of your hometown blur together from a mile above ground. 

the problem with flying is that it puts you so far above people you care about

“oh but Superman is such a boring c-“ shut up shut up shut up forever.

"bluh superman is boring bc he has basically no physical weaknesses he's completely unrelatable" YOU FOOLS YOU BASTARDS YOU IDIOTS his weaknesses is that he was raised to THINK and ACT and FEEL completely human!!!! The whole POINT is to explore what happens when you take a guy who mentally is a caring and kind and decent and conflicted and messy human person and contrast that with him having the all powerful abilities of a god it's about the CONFLICT it's about the TENSION it's about the DOUBLE LIFE it's about wondering if you can theoretically spend 24/7 saving people because you don't have to eat or sleep or breathe can you actually justify having a job or going to bed or falling in love or living a life!!! It's about being well known as being powerful so your public persona can never once slip never be angry never trip up or else you become a symbol of fear rather than hope!!! It's about having to also keep yourself in check every day and having to keep yourself of two minds and having to explain over and over and over again that you're not interested in dominance you're not interested in power you're interested in justice and mercy and help. It's about no matter what you are always subduing some aspect of yourself either your mind or your body depending on which role you have to play!!! And all of that is JUST on the introspective level!!! Superman is one of the most fascinating characters ever if you think he's boring imo it's bc you're being boring about it