I was rethinking the bookshop meta I wrote a while ago and realized I was not thinking big enough.

The bookshop has always been Aziraphale's version of Crowley's plants (his trauma reenactment), but also, absolutely everything Aziraphale does in Season 2 is a re-creation of Heaven's role. Crowley's behavior also encompasses everything, not just his plants.

I've seen it suggested that centering Aziraphale and Crowley's trauma histories is reducing their characters to behaving like just reactive victims instead of survivors with agency. Or worse, it's "excusing bad behavior." I don't agree with either of these, because I feel that part of Good Omens is about how large, powerful systems affect individuals, and so the context of every character's decisions matters a lot to the overall themes of the story. Everyone starts out working within a system they believe to reflect reality and then has to learn how to break free of it. You cannot really illustrate that without having the characters start out being genuinely trapped with different ways of coping with their reality.

This is an attempt at a pretty big-picture meta. Although it isn't a plot prediction, it's how I think some of the series' themes are going to progress. It starts out perhaps a little grim, but in the long run, it's how Aziraphale's character growth and relationship with Crowley can simultaneously be massive for them as individuals, a crucial part of the overarching narrative message of the series, and symbolic of a change in all of Heaven and Hell, all while allowing the themes to continue to prioritize human free will.

In short, it's about Aziraphale's problems, but it's also meant to be an Aziraphale love post.

All of the below exists in tandem with Good Omens as a comedy of errors. Just because there are heavy ideas does not mean they will not also be funny. Look back on how much of Season 2 seemed silly until we started to pick it apart! One of the amazing things about Good Omens is how it manages to do both silly and serious at once! (I feel like that's maybe a little Terry Pratchett DNA showing through. "Laughter can get through the keyhole while seriousness is still hammering on the door," as Terry himself said.)

honestly?? as much as it hurts i kinda appreciate seeing ed pull away and run. cause i do believe it’ll all work out. and more than that, cause trauma and mental health stuff is never just magically fixed by one reconciliation, by sex, by good days.

it’s consistently making progress and then backsliding and having to then make amends and progress all over and in new ways from that backslide.

and while ofmd absolutely is a fantastical show with so much humor and suspension of disbelief, one thing they’re good at showing pretty realistically and rawly is the brutal reality of trauma and mental health. and that people are going to have different ideas of what their life should be than someone they love so much. adult relationships can be HARD AND COMPLICATED. and ed isn't super emotionally equipped to deal with that.

ed is still a hurt, damaged man. he still makes really drastic black or white decisions because of his trauma. lucius wasn’t correct in saying some people are just broken and that’s the end of it. but that doesn’t mean that ed will get to have an easy time because he and stede found each other again.

and i appreciate that. i appreciate seeing the struggle and the backslides and the frustration while also knowing it can and will be okay, and that ed is still loved so much by stede through it all.

In regards to Ed seeing Buttons turn into a bird:

There really is something so intensely heartening about being so thoroughly used to bad things and bad thoughts and thinking “change is not possible. Good things are not possible,” and then actually see that change is possible. To truly see a different way forward than the one you always expected

One of the many things I love about this show is not only does it show the trauma, it also shows the healing process. The idea of “getting better” is so abstract, it’s overwhelming if you have no idea where to start. It’s so important to me that shows like Our Flag Means Death and Steven Universe address these and show how these middle steps can happen

I’m so happy Ed was able to truly see his turn around. Sending love to everyone suffering out there. Change is possible, I swear 💕

The Inn

Friends, they aren't actually talking about the tiny building they found that's completely unsuited to be a cool inn that would let Ed walk around with lots of keys.

"The story is done" No, it isn't. Piracy plot aside, David Jenkins ended S2 with a happy point for the show's main couple in case HBO does the unthinkable and denies us a third season. I'm going to repeat what I put here :

They're in love and have told each other that. They've kissed. They've had sex. They've moved in together. But we haven't seen them have the deeper conversations, and they both still have things to work through and communicate to one another. It's not just a wacky adventure ahead as they fail at customer service.

STORIES TELLING: ED TEACH’S JOURNEY FROM ARMOR TO AUTHENTICITY

One of the joys of watching season 2 of Our Flag Means Death is discovering the visual parallels with season 1 that add so much meaning and richness to the story. With affecting, extraordinary economy of visual storytelling, we can see the progression of Ed’s journey from choosing armor in season 1, episode 10 – Wherever You Go, There You Are, to choosing authenticity in season 2, episode 7 – Man on Fire.

[I have to point out the gorgeous cinematography here. Panning down on the left, panning up on the right. The clear resolve of S2 E7 Ed turning to ascend to the deck. I also love the timing of both shots. S2 E7 Ed is turning toward the red silk that S1 E10 Ed will release.]

S1 E10 Ed considers the red silk. The symbol of his tenderness, softness, and vulnerability.

S2 E7 Ed hoists his leathers and his firearm - his literal and symbolic armor and protection - to the edge of the deck.

S1 E10 Ed releases his tenderness, softness, and vulnerability to the sea.

S2 E7 Ed releases his armor and protection to the sea.

S1 E10 Ed throws the person who understands what he’s going through and is in a position to help him work through it in a healthy way, into the sea.

S2 E7 Ed makes breakfast-in-bed for the person with whom he shares emotional and physical intimacy. An act of care and service that strengthens his bond with Stede.

Show, don't tell doesn't seem adequate to describe these two sequences. They are masterful and say so, so much.

The double-edged sword of self-awareness

You’ve really got to give it to Ed. He’s making huge progress. Making a better choice for himself. Moving forward.

Change can be terrifying. For Ed to release that which protected him for decades is, well… it’s courageous and demonstrates hard-won self-awareness and integrity.

Of course, choosing to be authentic to yourself doesn’t translate into automatic relationship building. Understanding and communicating with other people, particularly the person you are in love with, is a different skill set. It is also true that, once you know that you can’t perform a persona to please other people, no matter how much you love them, you risk losing them.

Ed in the second frame, above, kills me. He knows that piracy might be the wedge that drives Stede and him apart. He is trying to share how he feels. But Stede is so enamored with finally being a successful pirate (and glowing from the best (and only) love-sex of his life) that he can't hear Ed.

I love that OFMD takes no shortcuts in matters of the heart. If these lads are going to be together for reals, they are going to have to work for it, and there is still much work to be done.

I'm looking forward to likely being simultaneously emotionally fulfilled and devastated by the season 2 finale in about 30 hours.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

Aziraphale as a natural collectivist and Crowley as a natural individualist raise their beautiful heads once again!

Aziraphale's huge mistake during the Final Fifteen is, obviously, as we've rehashed a lot, assuming Crowley would accept being reappointed as an angel. This isn't out of a lack of love for Crowley as a demon. It's because Aziraphale's first instinct when he's anxious is to look toward validation from a collective of some sort...and the Metatron has just reminded him of what Heaven could "offer" as that collective. A way to do good! Safety! Openness! He doesn't consider how Crowley will feel about this in large part because thinking individualistically doesn't come naturally to him; he's so busy thinking about the joy of Belonging that he doesn't consider how much Crowley values being outside the system - indeed, that it's an essential part of him.

Crowley's mistake, I think, is arguing that it can be very literally "just the two of us." Of course they can be a couple! Aziraphale wants that. He's happy with Crowley as his most unique, enduring, intimate connection. But just as Crowley's individuality is essential to him, Aziraphale is always going to need some cause to serve, somewhere to belong. That's who he is. And he loves Crowley so much that he wants, with utter desperation, for the two of them to belong in the same place, with the same people.

As I've said before, Aziraphale's sense of individuality is growing. He wants to be an individual, not just a faceless, passionless drone in a group of other drones. I think ultimately the reason he loves Crowley so much is that's the gift Crowley's given him - the safety to explore that thing he wants so badly. He needs, I hope, to reframe himself as "belonging" to Earth, rather than to Heaven.

And Crowley does not actually want to be isolated, adrift in the universe with just one other person. He wants to put down roots. He wants to belong somewhere. I think if you had to choose a reason why he loves Aziraphale, that would be it: Crowley can feel belonging with Aziraphale, and Aziraphale also gives him opportunities to connect with others - with humans, specifically - in ways that would ordinarily never be permitted for an agent of Hell. However, he's afraid to make his connection to Earth's community irrevocable, and his fear has always been entirely reasonable, both because it puts his and Aziraphale's safety at risk and because it's heartbreaking to watch what humans do to themselves and each other ("Humans. You don't let yourself get too attached."). He'll have to overcome those fears not because they're so wrong, but just because they're in the way of what he wants.

This is, I think, the biggest obstacle in their relationship from Aziraphale's end. Crowley's obviously got a massive case of denial and difficulting expressing emotions other than anger and a slew of other baggage, but one thing he does seem to be pretty good at figuring out is what Aziraphale wants. You know, rescue, attention, stain removal... and the preservation of the books without Az even mentioning it, that's a huge clue. They don't have the same priorities, but Crowley at least knows what Aziraphale's priorities are.

But Aziraphale, I think, has a pretty poor idea of what Crowley wants. Another scene that makes this obvious is the Ball. People have said that the Ball was for Crowley. Well, kind of. It was about Crowley. But it was for Aziraphale, really. He's arranging the sort of romantic affair he wants. It's not what Crowley would want. If not for the interruption, I'm sure he would have played along, and been happy to indulge, but it wouldn't have been his first choice.

This is not to say that Aziraphale doesn't know Crowley at all. He's definitely picked up on some of the things he likes. ('Rescuing me makes him so happy.' Doesn't it just!) But he has a tendency to project himself onto people, and onto Crowley especially. He struggles to see other points of view in general, I think. Obliviousness is his superpower.

Of course it certainly doesn't help that Crowley rarely if ever expresses his own needs or wants. He's got to be the cool guy, after all. Doesn't really need anything. He's fine. Of course he's not fine, but you have to tell Aziraphale things like that. Aziraphale cannot take a hint. And Crowley damn well knows that. He'd have to be very open and direct if he needed something from him, and he does not do that, ever. He channels himself into giving Aziraphale what he wants instead of addressing his own issues, because he totally has a handle on those. (Sure you do, Crowley.)

The one thing Aziraphale has figured out about what Crowley needs, though, is that he's lonely. He's dead right about that. Lonely, and purposeless, and sometimes bummed about it. The problem is, Az then projects his own needs onto finding the solution. He wants validation from Heaven. He wants to feel like he's really serving God again. He wants back in the system, he just wants the system to be better. That would be lovely, wouldn't it? Just perfect.

And so he tries to give Crowley that. Just like the Ball, he gives Crowley what HE would want. And this time, that is a fatal error. Because with the Ball, again, it was just kind of not Crowley's thing, but barring demonic invasion, he could've rolled with it. Returning to Heaven, though, is a painful offer. It actively appalls Crowley. He recoils like he's been slapped. He'd have rather been slapped. It's why that scene hurts so much to watch. Aziraphale is being incredibly sweet to him, trying so hard to make him happy... and it's the worst thing he could possibly do to him. God, it's awful. It's amazing. This conflict could not have been better engineered, because both of them are so valid here. They're just fundamentally different people who want fundamentally different things. Aziraphale misread the room, as he is wont to do, but more fatally than usual. Crowley reacts poorly, as he is wont to do, and this time no apology dance will fix it.

(And god yes to everything about Crowley not letting himself get attached and effectively perpetuating his own loneliness. So true. It's been a safety mechanism for most of his existence as a demon, but it's something he will absolutely have to push through now, because Aziraphale can't be his only lifeline. He's got to have purpose. He's got to let himself care about the things he's always struggled - and failed - to not care about. Feeding peas to ducks and escorting the guests to safety was a start. I'd love to see that continue.)

I don't know if it's just because I was bracing myself for something far worse, or because David Jenkins has made it clear that the show is the relationship so there's nothing to fear long-term, but I actually left those episodes feeling pretty good about Ed and Stede? No, break ups aren't fun, obviously, but

Could that conversation have gone better? Absolutely. But they're 14-year-old boys. They love each other, they have so much in common, but when it comes to piracy, they're in very different stages of their lives.

Ed doesn't want to hold Stede back, but he doesn't want that life anymore. He doesn't want to put himself in that situation, and he doesn't want to get hurt again when (he assumes) Stede chooses a life of piracy over being with him.

Ed has so much trauma to work through. He knows that, but he doesn't know how, he just knows he has to "do something different."

All of these are actually really huge steps. It presents itself as conflict, and it is one. A BIG one. But it's an important one for them to go through if we're going to have Ed and Stede really thrive in their relationship, and be truly content both as a couple and as individuals.

Okay yes AND I also think it's significant that "voir la vie en rose" in French means "seeing the world through rose coloured glasses" which usually means an unrealistic perspective, right? Like, only seeing what you want to see? The lyrics are incredibly romantic and the scene is beautiful, and at the same time, Ed and Stede aren't yet seeing themselves, their lives, or each other for what they truly are. That's what has to happen. Stede's strengths are NOT in murder or immolation but in positive team management. Ed has a lot of healing and mking amends sill in front of him, and he's not going to do it by running way to become a fisherman. They are both still living out fantasies, and have some work ahead of them if they want something real.

Talking with some friends earlier about the pacing: I agree it feels ultra compressed, and that's a shame, but part of the weirdness comes, I think, from some unconventional storytelling choices.

Ed and Stede are both repeating past mistakes. The ingrained patterns that led them to be unhappy don't disappear just because they found someone to love them, or because they kissed, or because they had sex. Ed doesn't believe he can talk about what's bothering him. Talking it through is totally impossible for him. Stede feels like he needs to be something other than he is. It isn't enough for him to build up his pirate skills. He has to prove his father wrong, and in the process, he ends up stepping all over the man he loves, and nearly getting himself killed (again!).

Change takes time. It takes practice. It takes fucking it up and trying again until you get it right. Unless you're Buttons, in which case change takes some incantations and the right bowl. "Buttons, people don't change. Not into birds or otherwise," Ed says, right before Buttons becomes a seagull.

Whether or not people can change is the question of the season, the point of it, more than whether or not Ed and Stede love each other (duh!) or whether or not they'll come back to each other (of course they will!). Ed is trying to change, even when he tells Buttons he doesn't think it's possible. Of course he has doubts: no one has let him do it. Stede's trying to change, too, but he's going in the wrong direction, which is very, very like him. For him, genuine change is going to mean realizing that he's valuable as he is, and caring for himself, not to mention really, really listening to Ed.

This is good, crunchy conflict!

In most comedy, once the MC understands their mistakes, they stop making them. This is different. This is new! It's a lot like how people behave in real life, trying with everything we've got to make our old tricks work before we give up and get some new tricks. And it's jamming the plot in a way that I personally think is pretty bold. If the rhythm feels off, well, it is, or at least, it's bucking convention. That doesn't mean it's bad.

So yes, maybe there is a pacing issue, but it comes in part from the choice to deal seriously with content that most comedy would gloss over. These characters aren't unbreakable. They're vulnerable and they're fuckups, and they're having a hard time stopping fucking up, and their fuckups have consequences, tons and tons of them, which in itself makes for absolutely fascinating storytelling.

I like it a lot! It feels fresh to me.

And I think part of it is supposed to be that way? Like we are supposed to feel a little uncomfortable this season. It’s telling a story we all deeply understand, even if we can’t fully verbalize it ourselves.

This season is the crossroads and the dark night of the soul for our larger story. We need it to move forward. It will make the sweet relief of season 3 all the better!

I totally agree! OFMD has always been deeply character-based. That's it's charm. So of course, the dark night of the soul is also going to be rooted in the characters' worst qualities. Two steps forward, one step back is painful, but it's also the way through. I'm betting the season 3 payoff will be incredible.

i get it now. when david jenkins said the show is their relationship - he meant it's the whole journey. this is not a getting together show. this is a how do you live a life together show.

it's about what happens after the realization, after the confession, after the happily ever after. it's not enough for them to know they're in love. they also have to figure out how the fuck to live a life together. how do you start making decisions for your life while also considering the other person? how do you forgive each other when you fight? how do you reconcile when you want different things? how do you compromise? how do you let yourself trust someone that much? how do you give that much vulnerability? how do you let someone love the parts of yourself that you hate? how do you love someone who hates parts of themself?

love is a choice. yeah sure it's a feeling, but to love, the act of loving, it's an action, it's a choice. an ongoing everyday choice. there will be days in any relationship where you find yourself tired or exasperated or impatient or scared or angry even, and you have to choose love over that. you have to decide to act out of love anyway. when they are tired or exasperated or impatient or scared or angry, you have to choose to love them anyway.

the show is about their relationship. finding each other. falling in love. and now - learning how to be in love. how to be tired and exasperated and impatient and scared and angry, even, and how to choose love anyway. learning that loving each other isn't a fantasy. it's not going to be as easy as running into each other's arms and having forgiveness handed to you. it's not going to be the silent mermaid saving your life without you having to ask. growth takes work. resolution takes effort. it's not enough to want it. it's not enough to sit in the moment when everything's okay and hope it lasts.

but the fact that it's hard doesn't mean it's not love. the fact that it takes work doesn't mean the love isn't good enough. it means that the love is worth it.

they found each other. they fell in love. now they have to learn how to put in the work. that's the relationship. that's the whole show.

yes!

I feel like Ed and Stede do everything right that Aziraphale and Crowley do wrong. Gentlebeard talk to each other. They sit and have honest conversations about their feelings (talk it through as a crew if you will) and are able to fix a deeply damaged relationship while acknowledging the other’s healing journey and setting boundaries. Ineffable Husbands could learn to do this because THEY DON’T EFFING TALK TO EACH OTHER! AND WHEN THEY DO, THE OTHER DOESN’T REALLY LISTEN!! Communication is so necessary and OFMD shows this. So I can’t wait to see how shit unfolds in GOS3 bc it’s gonna feel so satisfying to watch them hopefully communicate!

i have only watched ofmd vicariously via tumblr, but it feels like aziraphale and crowley at the end of s2, are approximately where stede and ed were at the end of s1. definitely started on a relationship, interested in developing it, but not quite there yet, too much old baggage still to deal with. so stede goes back to his old life, and puts it to rest, gets closure, gets properly free of it, so he can return to ed with his whole heart. aziraphale is just starting that process with heaven. i am so looking forward to how he resolves that.

ed and crowley also have stuff they need to resolve on their own, to be fully ready for this partnership. i'm guessing if that hasn't been shown already in ofmd, it will be. and good omens s3 will show crowley's process. communication for all of them (us!) is so important!

i cannot say how much i love seeing both of these shows working through developing an actually healthy adult relationship. i am so done with the idea that the only part that is interesting is getting the characters from the meet cute to the kiss that somehow caps the relationship, as if everything in the following 50 years will just be magically smoothed over with no real effort or change involved on either part.

I would agree, but also to add that there's no existential risk involved for Stede and Ed in the way that Az and Crowley have. Both pairs have trust issues and trauma, but Ed and Stede aren't going against any enormous entities that would see them as traitors. There are no sides, as all pirates are out for themselves. They are taking a risk in joining together to make a side of their own.

For Az and Crowley, no matter how early on their love story started, the biggest hurdle is that the closer they get to eachother the bigger the risk of destruction. Even if the barriers of trauma and trust and even believing love between them is possible would fall away completely, the threat would still be there. They can't be safe in the current system. They can stay in the fragile peace they have created, they can run away to Alpha Centauri, or they can face the fire and try to change things.

Therein lies the difficulty.

that's true, ed and stede are in a different kind of danger than crowley and aziraphale. my point is that "the barriers of trauma and trust" don't just fall away, they each have to do the work of clearing them away. all of us ordinary humans benefit from stories that help us to map that process for ourselves. stories that roll end credits at the first kiss don't help.

Few things piss me off more than when ace folk whine about how a kiss ruined “good ace rep”, but that thing might just be when allo folk whine about how “gays are only valid when neutered”. Just let @neil-gaiman tell his damn story, would you?

Love.

A Romantic Queer Asexual

this. maybe instead of whining about what the story isn't, focus on what it is.

The thing about romance is, it makes a good story.

As soon as Neil described season 2 as "quiet, gentle, romantic" I figured we'd be in for it, because as he's the first to point out, writers are liars. And the best way to deceive is with truth.

Season 2 is romantic. The trappings of romance are everywhere. Crowley tries to set up Nina and Maggie by trapping them under an awning during a rainstorm, a classic cinematic bonding technique. Aziraphale's chosen method comes from his beloved books: the ball, the dancing, appearing as a pair in public, hands held as you twirl gracefully with your heart thrilled and racing. If they can set up a sensational kiss that will unlock the happy ever after. They've lived on earth, they've studied the tropes, they know how romance works.

The problem is a story is only a story.

A reflection inspired by Good Omens 2

One of my favorite Tumblr posts on the second season of Good Omens 2 was actually not about the series at all, but our reaction to it, primarily the ending. @zehwulf wrote, “I think a lot of us—myself included—got a little too comfortable with assuming [Aziraphale and Crowley would] work on their issues right away post-Armageddon.” We did the work for them through meta, fanfiction, fanart, and building a plethora of headcanons. Who among us AO3-surfing fans didn’t read and love Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm?

In the 4 long years since season one was released, we did more than seek to understand and repair rifts between two fictional beings: we were forced to reckon with ourselves too. We faced a global pandemic, suffered traumatizing losses and isolation, and were forced to really and truly look into the face of our atrocities-ridden and capitalistic world. The mainstream rise of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Justice work, and our participation in this work, showed us that the systems in place were built to oppress and harm most of us, and they are. 

So, what does this have to do with the evolution of “happily ever after”? 

My friend put it best in a conversation we had following the season finale, when she pointed out a shift in media focus. The “happy end” in old stories about wars and kingdoms used to be “we killed the evil old king and put a noble young king in his place and now citizens can live in peace” and we’re transitioning into a period of “we tore down the whole fucking monarchy.” 

If we look at season one, written to follow the beats of a love story, it comforted us by offering a pretty traditional happy ending pattern: you get your fancy dinner with your special someone, the romantic music plays, and you have a place to call your own. Season one’s finale provided a temporary freedom for Aziraphale and Crowley, the “breathing room,” but it didn't solve the problem that was Heaven and Hell, or the agendas belonging to those systems of oppression. 

Is it good enough to keep our heads down, pretend the bad stuff isn’t happening, and live our own personal happy endings until we die? Moral quandaries aside, if you don't die (or if you care about the generations after you), then, like Aziraphale said, it “can’t last forever.” There’s a clear unpleasant end to the “happily ever after” that’s based on ignoring our problems– it’s the destruction of our relationships, and humanity. 

Ineffable Bureaucracy can go off into the stars because they do not care about humanity. 

You know who does?

Aziraphale. 

And Aziraphale knows that Crowley cares about humanity too. (He knows because Crowley was the one who proposed sabotaging Armageddon in the first place, who only invited him to the stars when he thought all was lost, because Crowley would save humanity if he thought it was possible, and Aziraphale knows Crowley has survived losing Everything before, and he will do all in his power so that Crowley does not need to experience that again.) 

In season one and two, we see how much they care about humanity, beyond their orders, to the point The Systems begin to frown at them. Aziraphale hears Crowley’s offer to run away together in the final episode of season two, to leave Earth behind, and just like the first time that offer was made in season one, he declines. He knows choosing only “us” is not a choice either of them can live with for the rest of eternity.

I believe season 3 will provide an opportunity to “dismantle the system,” but I don’t know how it will play out. I worry that Aziraphale has put himself in the now-dead trope of the “young noble king.” (I wish Crowley had told him why Gabriel was dismissed from his duties.) I worry that he would martyr himself as a sole agent for change. I worry that he doesn’t actually know how to dismantle anything by himself: because you can’t. He needs Crowley. He DOES. He needs Crowley, and Muriel, and other angels and demons and humans without fixed mindsets to help him. Only by learning to listen and making room at the table for all can they (and we) move past personal satisfaction to collective liberation. 

Crowley was right when he said that Aziraphale had discovered his “civic obligations.”

So, I think we will get our modern-day happy ending– and it’s going to involve a lot of pain and discomfort, communication, healing and teamwork– and in the end, it’ll all be okay. There will be a time for rest and a time for “us.” 

And most likely a cottage. 

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

 - Maya Angelou

Support the SAG-AFTRA strike and other unions. Trust @neil-gaiman. Register to vote if you haven’t yet. Hold yourself and others accountable with compassion. Read books. Keep doing the work. Rest. Then watch Good Omens 2 again.  

From Neil Gaiman's likes.... this is sooo interesting I love this post

Good Omens 2

Gave us everything we wanted.

Played "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" for Crowley

Showed us angel Crowley, prince of heaven, creator of stars, probably the Archangel Raphael

Coffee shop romance

Ineffable beaurocracy

And "They held hands"

And danced! Like Darcy and Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice

And they even kissed

GO2 served and served till the very last moment

AND. THEN.

No Nightingale song

Why Neil?

because this is act two of three. like darcy and elizabeth, there's a bungled proposal before they each do the personal work, to be fully ready. and then it's going to be amazing! but i can't wait to see how they get into the worst fix imaginable and out of it to be together!

I just realized something.

Crowley is very protective over his car, something that represents him and his identity and his control over things.

Aziraphale gets in the car, and changes EVERYTHING about it, from the music to the horn to the color of the car to the travel sweets.

And then Crowley calls and sharply informs him, "You know I can feel that, right?!"

It's not just a car, it's him, it's CROWLEY. He's taken charge and changing everything about it that was Crowley, making it his idea of better. He literally tells the car, "There, now that's better isn't it?"

And this was after Aziraphale had said, "It's OUR car."

This is foreshadowing the end, and everything Aziraphale says to him.

"Well of course you said no, you're the bad guys." -- Of course the Bentley isn't going to want to speed, that's bad.

"I can make you an angel again, it will be just like it was before, only even nicer!" -- Oh, but Crowley, why the black when the yellow is so pretty?!

It really drives home (heh) how off-kilter everything is without Heaven and Hell. Before, they knew where the other stood. Perhaps they thought knew WHY the other stood where they did (e.g., "Well of course you're all dark and moody, you're a demon.") And now that that's gone, they suddenly don't have this backdrop.

Crowley seems to not realize that Aziraphale is silently screaming that he wants to be together, he's still stuck in the Heaven-era version of him saying "we can't really be an US". Even at the end, he tells Aziraphale, "We could have been us," and he only seemed to have barely recognized just moments before that they HAVE been an "us" for the last few years.

And Aziraphale seems to have trouble parsing the difference between what Crowley was because he was a demon, and what Crowley was because he was Crowley. At the end of the season, he's asking Crowley to hand over his metaphorical keys to join him in Heaven, so he can change everything about him in ways Crowley doesn't want.

It's THEIR relationship, but Aziraphale wants to change the terms, change everything about it so it can fit his bright and cheerful picture of how everything should be. And when Crowley angrily rejects this (just like he did when it was the car), Aziraphale is just as surprised he feels that way.

For there to truly be an "us", for the car to be theirs and not just one or the other's, they're going to have to learn who they really are on their own, and relearn who the other one really is deep down, then learn what they really want from each other (and what concessions they're willing to make) moving forward.