all I ever think about is agony and orgasms

something incredibly American about an Allied trooper yelling brand names at Soviets until they recognize him as an ally.

pic i took years ago while driving home from work past the scary snail playground. i stopped in the night and pointed my headlights at it

Back when i worked i spent 8 hours packaging chicken skewers and the first day i was so exhausted that i couldn't stop shaking and whenever i closed my eyes to sleep i kept seeing chicken skewers and i couldn't get the smell out of my clothes so i did my best to picture images of The Beatles instesd but they kept fading & turned into chicken skewers like in some horrible nightmare and i was miserable

This is what it was like

i don't like john mulaney because he invited dave chappelle on stage with him after deeply praising him at the height of the transphobic controversy around him after his netflix special but i cant say stuff like hope he dies lest people think i'm in the camp of people that hate him because he got a divorce for some reason

just looked over to find my cat had somehow crawled into the sleeve of my jacket ???? fucking wheezing. the baleful worm

help me mother

thanks for liking my posts, and even reading them some times

Saying this to you while I die and you cradle my corpse in your arms tearfully

satisfying

"how am i supposed to learn from my mistakes?"

well you seem to be learning a lot right now aren't you?

it is funny seeing people use leaked development to say something is “canon”

that’s not what that means

"canon" is when you have an idea and then explicitly decide not to use it in the finished work, right?

Hamoud, my little boy, is only 17 months old, and he has spent more than half his life in war... He doesn’t know the warmth of a home, nor has he felt the safety of a real shelter. Every night, I hold his tiny hands and see his fingers trembling. I hear his cries, but all I can give him is my heart, yet a heart alone is not enough, and hunger shows no mercy😭😭

All I have is this tent that shudders under the rain. All I ask for are a few drops of milk, a piece of clothing to warm his fragile body, and a chance for him to sleep without the fear of freezing.

To everyone listening, to anyone who has felt the cold of winter: I ask for so little. With just five dollars, you could be the reason Hamoud gets through one night without pain.

Help me give him a warmth the rain can’t wash away, and an innocence that even war cannot take💔😔

Donation Link

Or through PayPal

Our campaign is verified by @90-ghost here and @gaza-evacuation-funds here🤍❤️

Alhamudulilah 🥰

Thanks to our wonderful friend and thanks to everyone who contributed.

Alhamudulilah ❤️

Thanks to your continuous support, today I was able to provide very important goods so that we can eat and resist life🫂

This $5 made a difference, what if you donated more 🫴💗

To all the compassionate hearts out there, I want to extend my deepest thanks for your generosity, which reaches us like a breath of fresh air during these difficult days. Because of your donations, we've been able to secure some basic necessities that bring a bit of comfort amidst the hardship, like milk, cans of tuna and luncheon meat, and other essentials we rely on each day🥹🥰

Your contributions are the warmth we feel in every moment, the support that strengthens our resilience. Your kindness reminds us that we’re not alone on this journey. We hope you continue to stand by us, as each bit of help brings us one step closer to the life we dream of for our children. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts❤️

Don't stop, support now

Through the campaign link 👇

Or paypal👇

Basic summary of the news about yesterday's far-right terrorist attack so people outside Brazil are properly informed of the situation.

The culprit, Francisco Wanderley Luiz, was 59-year-old keymaker. In the most recent elections, he ran for congressman by PL (same political party as former president Jair Bolsonaro) and lost the popular vote.

A few days before the attack, he posted veiled threats on Facebook, and one very explicit message namedropping 4 public figures around Joe Biden's level of leftism, which he refers to as "the shitty commies" and telling "you icky old men have 72 hours to disarm the bomb in your houses. The game begins on November 13 17:48 and ends at the 16th" accompanied by a comical amount of bomb emojis.

After the threatening messages, the terrorist wrote the phrase "for shit statues, you use dynamite" on his house's mirror, put on a suit themed after The Joker and drove his car on a 24h10min trip from Porto Alegre to Brasilia. He arrived at the Supreme Court, made a thumbs up sign to a group of confused witnesses in a nearby bus stop, and walked toward the Supreme Court's statue.

He threw a bomb at statue, which bounced off Looney Tunes style and hit the terrorist's head, killing him instantly. No one was harmed by the terrorist attack except for the culprit.

According to acquaintances, the incident happened because the culprit was emotionally disturbed by his divorce.

Linked below is an excerpt from the culprit's TikTok, in which he uses a prophetic amount of explosion effect on his own face.

The communities feature is making me aware of some very dark recesses of this website

By God

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the Onion, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

(EDIT: Fixed a sentence incorrectly suggesting that Clickhole is still affiliated with the Onion – it totally slipped my mind that they'd sold it back in 2020.)

YALL THE ONION BOUGHT INFO WARS IN THE BANKRUPTCY AUCTION

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME ARE YOU KIDDING ME