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@sanguineoracle on Tumblr
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Remind Me, Again

@sanguineoracle / sanguineoracle.tumblr.com

The tumblr for sanguineOracle, aka lovelylibrarian3863, "Libby".
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skullsuit
rydenarmani

i don’t even know what i’m doing with my time anymore but hey heres the magic the gathering butt cracks guy and hes gonna bless ur blog

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rattlegore
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ofela

ITS NOT SEWING SUPPLIES!

My question is how does every single person identify with this, is it like a secret rule to use those for sewing supplies?

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archivedkl
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violettemaps
I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world. ..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum. “Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!” I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away.. ..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person  (via coolgrandpa)

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miraclethemster
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peterparkuhs

Thank you thank you to whoever did this

You’re very welcome

WHY DOES THIS HAVE SO MANY NOTES

BECAUSE YOU MADE HER DRESS THE RIGHT FREAKING COLOUR DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO PEOPLE?!

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cronieampora

please watch this video of a deer having a temper tantrum because no one will feed him

feed him

this dog is SICK

He sounds like an aggressive door.

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cultfag

when they say youre too old for disney

The hop, I can’t. I cackled.

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lesbianswarm

What do we say to the god of death?

Persephone: knock knock
Hades: who's there?
Persephone: it's September hope you're ready to bang like a screen door in a hurricane
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just-cant-sleep

i want to play this game

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tallestsilver

I would gain so much weight playing this game and I wouldn’t even care

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kargrub

IVE FUCKING PLAYED THIS GAME AND LET ME TELL YOU WHAT

SO ME AND THREE OTHER FRIENDS PLAYED IT THINKING THAT OH HEY ITS JUST GONNA BE A WHOLE PEPPER INSIDE AND WE WOULDNT ACTUALLY HAVE TO EAT IT

BUT NOOOOOOOOHOHOHO HELL THEY TOOK PEPPERS THE SAME HOTNESS OF SATANS ASSCRACK AND INTEGRATED THEM INTO THE CHOCOLATE ITSELF LIKE SOME EVIL CONCOCTION OF FLAVORS AND MADE IT INTO THE DREADED BULLET YOU DONT WANT TO GET

THE PERSON WHO GOT IT WAS IN TEARS OVER THE HEAT WITHIN SECONDS AND HAD ONLY EATEN THE VERY TINY TIP OF IT

SO WHAT DO THE REST OF US DO, AS THE (QUESTIONABLY) SANE HUMANS WE ARE?

WE TRIED IT AS WELL

SO HERE WE HAVE A CAR FULL OF CRYING, PANTING TEENAGERS AND ONE DAD IN A CONFUSED PANIC, SO HE BROUGHT US ALL TO BEN AND JERRY’S AND WE ALL STUMBLE IN LIKE “GIVE US ICE CREAM NOW” AND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER WERE SCARED AND CONFUSED TRYING TO ASK WHAT FUCKING FLAVOR WE WANTED AND THE DAD WAS SITTING THERE TRYING TO GET AN ANSWER AND SOME RANDOM KID WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF US AND IT WAS GENERALLY JUST A VERY SHITTY SITUATION

SO WE GOT OUR ICE CREAM AND FINALLY CALMED DOWN AFTER A WHILE ENOUGH TO TALK LIKE NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS

AND THEN WE MADE THE DAD TRY IT WHICH WAS A VERY FUCKING BAD IDEA AS HE WAS BROUGHT TO THE SAME STATE AND HAD TO GET ICE CREAM AS WELL

SO ALL IN ALL DONT PLAY THIS GAME UNLESS YOU EAT HOT THINGS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CANDY OR YOU’LL REGRET IT

the rest of the bullets tasted quite swell and we enjoyed them later once our taste buds started working again bUT DONT PLAY THIS GAME OR AT LEAST DONT FUCKING TRY IT ONCE SOMEONE ELSE GETS THE DEATH BULLET

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