That is the BEST EVER quote about the nature of historians I’ve ever seen

probably to ensure a spot in the darkest pits of hell

Someone put this in my dash and now every single one of you must suffer with me.

This was an especially painful round of laughter.

psychic: reads Diego Lunas mind

Diego Lunas mind:

psychic: what the fuck?

look, blizzard, i dont know why this isnt a skin already but its not too late to fix it

The Freaky Ass Furniture of Catherine The Great

This is Catherine The Great. She was a legendary Empress of Russia and ruled longer than any other leader, and she did a damn good job by all accounts. People loved her, she worked hard, she was smart, and she was also one of the proudest motherfucking freaks in HISTORY. She proved to the world that just because you look a little like Lady John Lithgow does not mean you are undesirable, and just because you’re royalty does not mean you can’t be a horny goddess of filth.

There’s this rumor that Catherine’s biggest conquest was a literal goddamn horse, but historians believe that it’s just a sick rumor that some hating ass bitches made up because they were intimidated that a woman could not only be in charge of a country but of her own sexual predilections. HMM, THANK GOD TIMES HAVE CHANGED???

Anyway, Catherine used her money to finance this fuck pad room in her castle that was an homage to doin’ the nasty. Catherine’s Pinterest board must have looked like a fucking PornHub screenshot because this is what that beautiful proud slut decorated her lair with:

A chair that is so classically beautiful and…oh my damn…what in the hell..

IS THAT CHAIR SUCKING A DAMN DICK?

THAT IS THE DEVIL AND HE IS EATING A PUSSY LIKE HELLFIRE’S GONNA SHOOT OUT OF IT

YOU NOT A BAD BITCH UNLESS YOUR OFFICE CHAIR HAS A PANTALOON-LESS VULVA AIRING ITSELF OUT ON IT. 

THERE ARE GIANT WANGS GROWING OUT OF GIANT CHI-CHIS HOLDING UP A CORNUCOPIA OF FINELY-CRAFTED, CLASSICAL ASS, BAROQUE ASS, ROCOCO ASS GENITALS. HOW THE FUCK YOU GONNA GO TO IKEA AFTER THIS SHIT? 

I wish there were more pictures of the original pieces, but in the 50′s some uptight German Army dipshits destroyed her collection because it gave them shameful boners or something. An artist has recreated her utilitarian odes to fuck, but it is truly sad that we cultured skanks can never appreciate such high art in its original glory. Damn, Cathy. Respect.

THIS IS AMAZING.

blimey

I saw some reproductions of these at the World Erotic Art Museum in Miami! They are… something.

the best defense is a good offense

ESPN: “The Body Issue” Amanda Bingson, Paige Selenski, Natalie Coughlin, Leticia Bufoni, Ali Krieger, Aly Raisman,

Can we just recognized that they all have different body types but are all extremely athletic.

And none of these photos are hyper sexualized 👏🏻

Oh my GOD

Thank god people can actually take pics of women without sexualizing them! Wow

Diana Severinenko

i downloaded that vintage burr erotica and i’m skimming through it and it’s so bad oh my god

“Won’t I make her sweet body writhe like a skinned eel!” that’s an actual line from it oh my god

so aaron burr’s having sex with a married woman, the husband’s like “wtf why are you making so much noise? come to bed,” the wife literally goes “i’m c-c-coming!!,” then aaron burr runs out of the house making cat noises, i can’t believe this it’s like a bad fanfic. here’s the link btw, if any of you want to read vintage aaron burr rpf published in 1861

…

I think he fucking wrote it himself. LIke, there’s no way Aaron Burr was fucking all these married women, I heard it’s like semi biographical or some shit he wrote it.

The bit where he makes cat noises is amazing And yes, Aaron Burr wrote it, then buried it and someone discovered it and editted in the ending.

Glitter can never be removed from a human body, what you are witnessing is the accumulation of a lifetime of glitter as is has built up on these men since childhood art class.

Glitter; Not Even Once.

Do you understand the lifetime of glitter this man will suffer just to look this magnificent for you right now?

You do not. You can not. But as long as you appreciate that glorious shine, for just a moment, it may yet be worth it.

It’s funny, because I always knew I liked men, and I always knew I liked glitter. But somehow up until this moment my brain has never combined the two…

The thing about this is that sculptures like these in art history were for the male gaze. Photoshop a phone to it and suddenly she’s seen as vain and conceited. That’s why I’m 100% for selfie culture because apparently men can gawk at women but when we realize how beautiful we are we’re suddenly full of ourselves…

“You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure.” ― John Berger, Ways of Seeing

Vivian Kim (김지양) launches 66100, a new plus-size fashion magazine, in Korea. More info here.