meh gar kyrayc, shuk bah ni

you’re at the farmers market and you see two men holding hands, looking lovingly into each other’s eyes. as you stand next to them, trying to decide which variety of apple to buy, the tall one with the long hair says “my shoulder is STILL sore from cutting that bastard’s head off. i thought he would never die. maybe we need to sharpen the machetes.” the one in the trench coat gives the tall one a brief shoulder massage while he pays for a quart of organic pink ladies and then turns to you and asks “are there any good vegan restaurants around here? my husband doesn’t eat meat”

my milkshake brings all the boys back from the outer rim sieges

Looking forward for episode 15

Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Commander Cody

Captain Rex - The Mandalorian - Luke Skywalker - Poe Dameron - Finn

I want fics that feature Anakin “there is nothing behind these eyes except racing, droids, and thematic Wii Music” Skywalker being impossible for Palpatine to manipulate because Anakin’s response to “nobody is going to beat or kill or starve you for minor disrespect here” was to just… zone the fuck out, indefinitely.

He zones in for fights! And engineering! And Obi-Wan, because that’s his dad!

It’s just that, if you opened up a little door into his head, the lights would be on! Technically! But is anyone home? No.

It’s just the Wii music and a Pokemon SM player character empty smile.

Anakin checked out ten years ago and hasn’t checked back in since. Inner peace is achieved via No Thoughts, Head Empty.

He’s much less violent for a while! Very chill! Of course, then the war hits and someone gives him AN ENTIRE CHILD and he ZONES IN to be the most protective motherfucker alive… but, you know, until then he’s mostly not paying attention unless it’s Obi-Wan, Droids, or ‘oh hey, we’re getting shot at.’

One time, Ventress taunts him literally while she’s got him tied up and ready for torture, but he’s just staring at a crack in the wall behind her and absentmindedly humming.

The Tusken massacre doesn’t happen because Anakin was so zoned out that Palps threw up his hands around the time Anakin was 13. Never bothered to set up the Shmi situation because apparently Anakin’s useless anyway. It’s fine! One more Jedi he has to kill! How hard can it be???

(Palpatine is very disappointed to learn that Anakin is actually really good at war, but the window for influencing him has passed at this point.)

Padme: Oh, Ani, you’ve grown! Anakin: :D Padme: Er… alright, then.

-later-

Padme: Is Anakin feeling well? I know it’s been ten years, but he seems very different from the boy I remember. He’s a little… Obi-Wan: Inattentive? Quite. Padme: What happened? Obi-Wan: He was given permission to not be on full alert at every waking moment, and proceeded to take full advantage. For the past decade. You would not believe how often I’ve turned around to find that he’s wandered off while I wasn’t looking. Padme: You mean he’s just not interested in what’s going on? Obi-Wan: He will protect you with his life, and I assure you he’s competent at the work… but as his friend Aayla once put it, “there’s not a thought going on in that pretty little head of his, is there,” Senator.

I really love this idea! It’s really cool… but also quite sad, it sort of sounds like what happens to trauma survivors when they don’t do what Anakin did in the movies. They zone out, dissociating or depersonalising and pay attention to very little. This almost sounds worse for Anakin’s mental health than what actually happened to him… 

I have so many AUs where I take Anakin’s trauma seriously but please… let me have a Wii Music Brain AU…

I would imagine that the issue isn’t “No thoughts” but “Too many thoughts”. (It’s kinda how I go through my day to day).

Anakin is just constantly thinking about whatever project he has going on at the time. Not much to do with the Force, or his training, but the droid he’s making out of the better scrap found around Coruscant, or making sneaky “upgrades” to the speeder he and Obi-Wan use.

The only time you can get him to really break out of this shell is when he is either actively tinkering or fighting. Beyond that, he is outwardly the most serene Jedi, but inwardly waiting for the meeting to end so he can get back to increasing the power of his lightsaber to see if the blade gets longer. (The secret is that’s how he is so effective at fighting, he is doing his best to get it over with quicker so he can get back to tinkering).

However, the other Jedi don’t understand this obsession, so they kinda just assume that he’s not thinking of much. Obi-Wan knows, but only because he has to deal with it. Ahsoka helps keep him focused more often, because now he has to be responsible for someone else. And, she helps him with his projects, so it’s even better.

I’ll take it!

As long as there’s Wii Music.

(And “not a whole lot going on behind those eyes” jokes that Anakin is 100% willing to let happen.)

would have been funny if once darth vader had his lil robot suit and realized palpatine manipulated him the whole time he just went rogue and did anti-evil evil. whose side is he on? what’s he achieving? no one knows but he’s sure doing something

would love star wars au where immediately after his big NOOOOOOO Anakin just keeps doing that, but with his robot fists and lightsaber. does not apologize. does not undo murder (obvsly). just starts tearing down everything ‘nice’ palpatine has or makes cause he’s PISSED. Sidious keeps pressing all the self destuct buttons on Vader’s suit but he keeps surviving cause he’s fueled by hate. the emperor manages to avoid getting murderdeathed cause he’s good at that and can put stuff between him and Vader. The three main sides post order 66 are empire [meticulously crafted but not fully brainwashed], rebels [scattered goals, passionate, anti-empire], and Vaderkin [just wants to kill Palpatine and anyone who smiles too loudly near him]. 

Rebels harass military facility on unhappily empired planet, empire calls reinforcements, classic guerilla warfare—then Vader shows. He destroys, in order:

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geralt, jaskier & yennefer + text posts part 5 (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

(sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9)

fuck it a vampire with a gun

count glockula

if i go to silent hill and there arent any of those thotty little nurse binbos trying to stab me im fucking stealing shit

if i go to silent hill and pyramid head doesnt have his cock out im fucking driving my car in to the lake

me every month: has my period AGAIN 

me every month: 

Welllllllllllllll periods suck(trust me, I was emotionally close with a woman, in fact close enough to feel her goddamn periods. Fuck I fucking hated it, men, don’t get that attached. Be supportive, feed her ice cream and whatever else she asks for, but don’t get attached enough to feel them. It’s not worth it.

Anyway, I hate to be callous but that’s just your body telling you to hurry up and get pregnant. Of course birth control also makes them not as bad, depending on what kind. Of course you find out that there’s more kinds of birth control than there are types of oil, which is a pain. There are more period blood containment things(yes, tht includes tampons, pads, cups, etc.) than there are types of oil according to my dad who actually knows his shit about the oil,saying there’s like 4 types.(Yes, talking about motor oil here)

So ladies, find what’s right for you. Ask a doctor. Test some different period things out. It’s for your own good

What the FUCK are you talking about

I thought I couldn’t fucking read for a minute

What

Did. This guy just. Assume women didnt. Know that. Did he just mansplain periods

Did he imply that he could actually feel someone else’s period??¿¿?

MOTOR OIL??????

Do you ever think about how sperm don’t work right at body temperature and that’s why males have external testicles? Design-wise that is such a huge risk to take. Your most important organ is swinging free outside your body, vulnerable to injury or attack. All because one (1) type of cell, your fucking gametes for christ’s sake, cannot function at the normal body temperature of the organism they belong to. What the fuck. I never want to hear a man try and say females are biologically inferior ever again.

While I’m at it also they have to share one hole that they both pee and have sex out of. That’s fucking gross and unsanitary. Everytime a man cums in you you’re also getting all the pee that was in his urethra enjoy that thought ladies. You know how many holes birds have? One. They pee, poop and have sex all in the same hole it’s called the cloaca. You know how many holes women have? Three. Because we evolved one. Evolution-wise, men fall somewhere between a chicken and a human female. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Is just about the most legendary sentence I have ever read in my life in any language..