ABIGAIL (2024, dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett)

tragedy fans when their fave characters do not make it

it's cute how billy got to share haircuts with all of them❤

imagine john or amanda stalking lawrence to get his routine and stuff and they look across the road and see adam also stalking lawrence.

I can't remember if Bela Lugosi is dead or not. Ah! Perhaps these fine gentlemen can answer my query in a timely manner!

get gordoned idiot

my gender is bad porn parodies of horror movies

joke’s on darcy, lizzie happens to be besties with mrs collins so do you know what that means? visits. do you know who mrs collins will inevitably bring WITH her???

mr collins. buckle in for some one-sided conversations on the grandeur of pemberley and how there is but one estate only marginally finer, he thinks you will no doubt agree, which can only be, of course, rosing’s park, which can be viewed by his own very humble abode

they’ll all have their dinner and the women will retreat to another room and darcy will stare very, very imploringly to his wife to please, stay. like, please. this man doesn’t shut up. surely you want to talk to him. let’s tag team. please lizzie. he will ask of nothing from you for an entire fortnight if you please actually stay in the same room so mr collins will have SOMEWHERE ELSE to direct his onslaught of ass kissing. lizzie. lizzie.

This is why the Bingleys and the Collinses are invited at the same time.

Meanwhile Lizzie, Jane, and Charlotte are in the parlor, placing bets on how long before Darcy cracks, practically CHUGS his port, and bolts, “WHO WANTS TEA?!?!?!? LET’S JOIN THE LADIES AND HAVE TEA!!!!!!”

Darcy at the table counting down the 45-ish minutes until it’s socially acceptable to retreat to the drawing room

doooooooes anybody lisysen to throbbing grobbing nine inch ninch skinny pinny

Ma'am if you could step out of the vehicle and say Einstürzende Neubauten

lawrence gets trolled

when the necromancer expects you to be risen as soon as they cast the resurrection spell and doesn't even let you have half an hour for phone in grave

Isn't that the new king Charles portrait?

yeah

Pride and Prejudice 1995 text posts, part 3 of ?

More: Sense and Sensibility 1995 text posts | Northanger Abbey 2007 text posts | Emma. 2020 text posts

REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS

learned today (after googling it upon seeing the "Sadomasochism Brothers" post) that masochism was named by a psychiatrist who had read Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's erotic writing and was like "I feel safe in concluding that this man had Fucked-Up Freak Sex Disorder, which now until forever will bear his name", while von Sacher-Masoch was still alive. there are accounts of von Sacher-Masoch being like "bro what the fuck" about this