More reasons why we’re attracted to villains

Text extracted from this lovely vintage Labyrinth fansite.

1. Intelligence. Villains spend most of their time matching and outwitting their antagonists (the good guys). Yes, I know they eventually make mistakes (see 3), but you’ve got to give them credit. They usually have many more brains than the rest of the people around them, who are either terminally bumbling helpers or unsuspecting heroes who succumb to every trap that the villains set.

2. Power. Intellectual power (see 1). Monetary power. Physical power. Magical power. Villains tend to have a monopoly on it, at least until the good guys come along and mess things up. Villains seem to do whatever they want. They can make other people obey them. What more could you ask for? The idea of personal indulgence is very tempting.

3. Hubris. It’s the archetypical tragic flaw: assuming that one can do more than what is humanly possible. Seems that all the heroes of those ancient Greek tragedies have it, and people are still very sympathetic to them, even though most of them end up killing or sleeping with their parents. Why? It’s easy to sympathize with someone whose elaborate hopeful plans explode because it’s something that happens to everyone, but on a much smaller scale. Most of us do not see our plots to take over the solar system fall through, but still…

4. Tortured soul. Your average villain has some formative event — a parent brutally murdered, a horrible disfiguring accident, some cruel exploitation of his or her weakness — that gives him or her a bit of psychological depth. We can almost see how this person has come to be so driven and wicked: it’s because he or she is looking for, suppressing the need for, or reacting against the lack of love, respect or general niceness in his or her past. Awwww, how touching. Even if we know nothing about the villain’s past, we can usually see that longing — that (sniff) gut-wrenching emptiness! — underneath all that perverted amibition.

5. Style. Simply put, villains have charisma and fashion sense. If you really stopped to think about it, most villains’ outfits and mannerisms would be silly if affected by Joe or Jane Goodguy. However, the villains pull off incredible displays of flamboyance and eccentricity because they have that ineffable and very attractive quality called style. They know how to manipulate their images — and admit it; we all love a good show.

6. Theatricality. Most villains have at least two sides to their personalities: the beguiling side and the ruthless side. Being temporarily nice helps them accomplish their dirty deeds more efficiently. It also adds a certain panache to their personality (see 5). The guise of friendliness also gives the revelation of the villain’s true nature a stunning dramatic punch, which every villain loves because it adds to his/ her sense of superiority before the stupefied good guys. Because villains act out different roles, their greater range makes them more complicated and interesting than the good guys, who are just good and…well…dull.

7. Sex appeal. This isn’t always the case, but it happens often enough. It’s usually dependent on number 5. Though they look positively ridiculous when you think about it, some villains turn their style into seductive devices (or should I say vices?). When you add to this the good looks and well-developed love-making skills possessed by many villains, the reason for attraction should be obvious. When compared to the good guy with his or her standard sappy love interest, villains are just so much more…potent.

8. Excess. Villains take everything over the top. They have no compunctions. They don’t care about rules or limitations. They want to seduce and corrupt someone totally, rule the entire country single- handedly, blow up the whole planet, et cetera. They want to do it once and for all or not at all. No one’s like that but sometimes you’d just like to bust out and do something that outrageously excessive. And even though we’re not as wild as the typical villain, we’re all excessive in some way. Sometimes villains seem all too human.

So, basically, Leos ♌😂

when ur 5 minutes late feeding the cat

My child is autistic. He doesn’t do well with change. Even little things that would be meaningless to most people.

For example, his hairbrush was getting old and worn. He had chewed the end of it. The cats had chewed some bristles. It was dirty and dusty. But I didn’t say anything. Because it’s his hairbrush.

Finally, he said he thinks it’s time for a new brush. Ok, I say, we’ll put it on the shopping list, and get one next time we’re in town.

So we go to town and we go to the store. There are many hairbrushes to choose from. He picks one and they even have it in his favorite color. We buy it, take it home, and remove the packaging.

I go to put it on the shelf where the old hairbrush is. Can we throw out the old one, I ask.

That’s when he stops. That’s when he freezes and gets a momentary look of panic on his face. Throw out the old one? That hadn’t occurred to him.

Because here’s the thing. Hair brushing is a part of his morning routine. And not just hair brushing, but hair brushing with that particular brush. To most people, the act of hair brushing is the routine, but not the brush itself. The objects are interchangeable. But not to my child. Not to someone with autism. The brush itself is just as important as the act of brushing.

So I take a breath. I put the old brush down. Think about it, I say. Let me know tomorrow what you want to do with this brush.

He decides. He realizes keeping an old hairbrush is not necessary. But it’s still important to him. So he asks if I can cut off one bristle. To keep. As a memory of the old hairbrush.

I don’t laugh. I don’t tell him it’s silly. I respect his need. I cut off the bristle. He puts it in his treasure box, along side some smooth rocks, beads, sparkly decals, a Santa Claus charm from a classmate, a few other things meaningful to him.

He throws the old hairbrush away himself. He is able to move on, and accept the change.

This is a great way to help an autistic person move on properly, instead of forcing them to get rid of it you let them use their own method and left them feeling safe. Congrats fam👏👏

For me hyper empathy is also part of this and I have to like, grieve for things like this. And approaching it that way, as grief, as legitimate bereavement instead of pushing myself to treat it the way NT’s in my life had taught me (dismissive, mockery, “it’s just a hairbrush wtf why are you like this”) has really helped in these kinds of situations.  I don’t laugh. I don’t tell him it’s silly. I respect his need. I wish I’d had this kind of understanding and safety in my childhood. It teaches you how to be safe and understanding to yourself.

This is GREAT I wish more people understood that it’s so important to let us do things our way. We will often come to the same conclusion anyway, but without the trauma and distress of being forced to do something too quickly or in a way that hurts and confuses us. 

When I was 6, I had grown extremely fond of a coin.

There was nothing special about it. I don't even remember how I got it, but I'm pretty sure no one important or special had given it to me. I had probably picked it up earlier that day from the school yard. No special numbers, no special engravings. It was just a normal, banal cent. But not to me. Suddenly I imbued it with meaning. It was lucky, for example. But most of all - I was attached to it. It was so important and special, I was washing it in the bathroom sink. But then, being as absent-minded as always, I threw it in the trash instead of throwing away the paper I was wiping it with. I screamed like I was being murdered, I was howling and crying. It felt like the end of the world. Like someone had died.

Of course, everybody thought and acted like I was insane. Teachers were extremely confused (and those who already hated me as a "problem child" felt validated). Other children (even if they were just 6 or 7 yo) laughed at me. My family was just so embarrassed they made me feel like a monstrous freak of nature.

I had realized a few years ago this had to be autism-related, but up until this point, I didn't quite understand how or why. Now I do: I gave it life. And accidentally threw it in the garbage - that is, the equivalent of "murdering" it. It wasn't a basket or a bin you can reach in, but one of those metal traps attached to the wall you see in public bathrooms. This was permanent - though it wasn't, really. A teacher could have called a janitor with the key to open it up and get the damn coin - though I do understand why no one would bother to do that. Still someone could've tried to understand. But how could they? To them, it was just a cent.

My hyper-empathy for objects still plays bad trick to me - if I accidentally pay attention and hold a plushie too long in a store, I have to buy it. As if by touching it and thinking about it and singling it out and paying attention to it, I was giving it life. It's probably easier to explain with a plushie than with a coin - they are made to be endearing to human eyes and touch - though my grandfather (who raised me, and was always extremely embarrassed with my odd behavior) still doesn't quite get it.

this chart of gender roles in the ancient world straight up looks like a meme

So the Young Man Of Feminine Beauty is Extremely Dangerous for his ability to move across the lines...? Am I interpreting this right?

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