Answering a message last night triggered a horrible flashback. I haven’t had flashbacks in YEARS! I was so scared, and found myself feeling angry and like the abuse I suffered in the past was my fault. Everyone looked like my abuser to me, and I didn’t want to speak to anyone.

I had to remind myself it was okay to feel this way, even though my mind kept telling me that to feel so was weak. It can be hard to fight, but please remember that it will pass, and that having flashbacks does not mean that you are bad, or that you are not recovering.

-Miss Usagi

I’m really glad you woke up this morning.

Your sadness  is natural.

You have the strength to survive.

You will find others who see your value.

Ever since I got sick, I noticed others have not been treating me with respect, and frequently talk down to me. I know this happens to a lot of people. I promise you, everyone deserves to be treated with respect. You are valued and loved.

-Miss Usagi

Your basic needs are valid, and are not a burden

Sometimes, people try to diminish the accomplishments of others, or we tell ourselves our accomplishments aren’t really that big. However, any positive step is something that deserves to be celebrated. Don’t let them get you down, and acknowledge your success however you see fit!

It’s easy to be hard on the person you used to be, especially if you have to handle a mistake they made in the past. Remember what you learned from the experience and that the person you used to be grew into the person you are now.

Usagi Says: Things never stop changing, but that’s okay.

I turn 25 in exactly 5 weeks, and tomorrow, I have to take an exam that will be the most important test of my life so far. And, hopefully, I’ll never have to do anything like this again.

Its a certification exam to determine whether or not I can be a school librarian. If I pass, I’ll be able to work in a school anywhere in the state, and the more I study, the more I discover this is something I want to do. I figured I’d be a public librarian or go into another career path in spite of my Master’s program, but the more I study teaching in my Master’s track, the more excited I get...and I realized I know my stuff! (I’ve passed every single practice test with flying colors.)

One problem, though, I have a history of completely blanking on tests....and I never thought I’d have to take a test like this again. I figured online quizzes to determine what character I was in a show would be my future, not having to answer really complicated moral questions like, “How do you handle an unsolicited donation from a public figure of material that is banned in your district?” on yet another standardized test.

Another issue is that I’ve spent pretty much my whole life getting it drilled into me that the things I cared about didn’t matter: school, teaching, reading, writing....

I also grew up in the early 1990′s, which means that Common Core, STEM, and standardized testing became increasingly important with much less backlash than I would have expected. The things I was good at, I was told didn’t matter in the real world...but that’s not true.

There’s also the fact that me still loving a lot of the same stuff I did as a kid and being emotional causes a lot of people to think I’ll never make it in the world.

However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching my parents, who love the liberal arts and who raised me around artists, it’s this: there will always be a need for people like me, and a need for everyone else who has been told their passions are not profitable. Art is important, writing is important, STEM is important, history is important, everything is important.

So, I know I have to manage my anxiety and take this test. If I pass, I will be thrilled, but even if I don’t, I know it doesn’t mean I’m not wanted....

...........no matter what Luna’s expression says.

-Miss Usagi

“Asking for help takes courage, and does not make you weak.”

Asking for help in general is incredibly difficult and takes courage, but often we feel like doing so makes us weak. It is easy to see why, since we are often raised to think that one’s problems should be taken care of on their own, but part of learning to care for yourself independently is knowing when to ask for help.

-Miss Usagi

“You deserve to take care of yourself when you break down.”

It's okay to be unhappy.

Your gender is a part of you.

The end to a relationship can be upsetting, and it's perfectly fine to be upset about it.

You will find the strength to show the world your best self.

Finding yourself is a journey. It’s okay to find out you’re different than you thought.