Mercurys Role in Synastry
I think we often forget just how important Mercury is in synastry. Mercury is communication, if we have a lot of incompatibility when it comes to our communication styles then our relationship is going to be strained, because we will never be able to understand what the other is trying to express.
Someone who has a lot of Air and Mercurial energy will need someone who will be able to match that, they won't be happy with someone who never wants to chat and gossip for hours on end.
A Scorpio Mercury would need someone who could be able to discuss deep and taboo subjects and not shy away from them just because they make them feel uncomfortable.
An Aries Mercury would need to be with someone who can handle their brashness and temper tantrums, they wouldn't do well with someone who has a Cancer Mercury and no Fire in their chart because they would always get upset with their Aries Mercury partner. But if the same Cancer Mercury person had Aries or Mars in the 3rd house then they would be more likely to handle their Aries Mercury Partner and their outbursts.
A person with Mercury conjunct Neptune will be much more spacey and forgetful, sometimes they will go into tangents and trail off into random stories that a Virgo Mercury would not understand or tolerate all the time, but if this Virgo Mercury was also in the 12thouse then they would blend easier, because they both have that unconscious energy seeping through them into the conscious sphere.
So make sure you check your and your partners and even friends Mercury placements to better understand them.