It's okay to lose yourself - Lunaotic
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I'm trying to be kinder to myself
does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do
does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do
does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do
does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do
straight up terrifying shit is happening in this country (you might have seen/heard some news about the Amsterdam-events...) and I've been managing to kinda... breathe through it and find support with friends, but tonight it's just kind of breaking me. I feel so scared.
I think it's the combination of two things today. first some very dear friends losing their insurance coverage for therapy because of some shocking news about the 2025 health insurances (my therapy with A is safe, thankfully, though that is up in the air every year again, for 2025 I'm good).
and then I just saw something one of our current government parties (VVD) posted on twitter and it's just... it's horrifying. they propose "taking away the dutch nationality after antisemitic sentiments" (meaning they just want to kick people out of the country), for instance. and at the rate things are going, I think in just a few more weeks they will consider it antisemitic to even wear a pin of the palestinian flag. they're are full on embracing the anti-islam rhetoric. anti-refugee. anti-humanity.
I am terrified. I don't know what to do. I am crying for all the people I know who are suddenly losing their therapy (or having to pay thousands of € per year). I think part of it is the terror of losing A, and I'm just repeating to myself that that's not happening. I'm one of the few lucky ones.
I'm scared. I don't know what to do.
beavers have the lifestyle that most children dream of. dig and travel through underwater canals. dam a river and flood the local woodlands. stomp mud into dam to seal. swim to flooded trees and destroy them. live in a secret hideout with a underwater entrance. full ownership over an engineering project
it would be really cool if one day i reach a place in myself and life and healing where stupid friendship shenanigans will no longer send me into sobs and sh-urges because oh my god!!!!!!! i hate this!!!
me for 3 days in antwerp: weeeehhhhh!!!!!!!! (with a smidge of unease and sadness and feeling off)
me the minute I get home: stomach pain. crying. urges. chaos. despair. triggered feelings of absolute pure abandonment. lost forgotten alone. more stomach pain.
WHAT THE HELL MAN!!!!!!!!!!
Alice Carrière, Everything/Nothing/Someone