Dan, redeemed but still with a chip on his shoulder, is on a mission.

Getting shoved into a teenage version of his body had been annoying. Growing up again had been a pain.

But.

He'd made it.

He's now an adult at the mature age of twenty, has the same terrifying stature his ghost half has, and has decided what he wants to do with the next few years of his life, at least.

He's going to confuse Batman.

See, when Dan had destroyed the world in his own timeline, there were two heroes that posed actual problems for him; Batman and John Constantine.

Of those two, Batman had been the worst.

He'd been the hardest to get rid of, stuck around the longest, and came up with a contingency that had damn near actually taken Dan out.

To be fair, Constantine had gotten way closer to deleting Dan's existence, but that had been more of a one and done fight, not a million annoying little things.

Batman had been a thorn in his side so much that even redeemed, Dan still has a grudge against him.

But.

He knows who Batman is.

More specifically, he knows who Batman's butler is, and that man is the picture definition of "overworked". Said butler also, sometimes, bemoans taking care of such a large Manor by himself on a forum just for Butlers.

A forum Dan has been frequenting, replying to those complaints and slowly endearing himself to Mr. Pennyworth. Exchanging tips. Getting advice on how to Butler. Talking about not really getting a chance to apprentice because people are "scared" of him.

(Okay so that one is true, Dan's got a plan and he wants to do it well, but there's literally no rich person that would hire him as an intern Butler. They all say he's too "intense" or whatever.)

When Oracle had traced back to Dan's computer, she'd only found normal usage and nothing suspicious. Because that was what that computer was used for, and only that.

When Mr. Pennyworth had finally asked if Dan would like to train under him as a replacement, Dan had taken a long while to stop laughing.

Dan, built like a competitive weight lifter and taller than Superman, shows up at the steps of Wayne Manor fully prepared to Fuck With Batman.

~~~~~~

Alfred's apprentice is freaking Bruce the hell out, and it's getting to the point where he's not afraid to acknowledge that.

#but i want a huge beef muscle wall being the intern butler#dan only intends to stay long enough to drive bruce up a wall#ends up staying longer#cass adores him right off the bat#she can tell he's playing and she thinks it's funny#dan is the only household worker to never get kidnapped#kidnappers take a look at him and just turn around#nope#nah#not doin it#dan is intentionally creepy as fuck around bruce#slowly driving his paranoia levels through the roof#one time a villain finds out and attacks the manor#he gets as far as dan's hand#as in dan places a hand on his head and casually describes in visceral detail the sound human heads make when crushed#bane end up facing off with dan and dan just says “oh i remember YOU. let's have some fun again.”#gets scolded afterwards for getting blood on his suit by alfred#“if you are going to lay down the law please keep in mind that clean well fitted clothes are a gift. treat them accordingly.”#“sorry Alfred.”

Look, Alfred needs him. Needs the help. Is in fact, the BEST old man to ever old man. Out here validating Dan's petty actions. Definitely knows Dan is doing this on purpose. But the young Masters and Misses like him. He does a good job. Good apprentice through and through. Besides, Master Bruce needs to be humbled now and again. It's good for him. His apprentice shall stay right where he is thank you very much.

Cass has decided that dan is her blorbo, actually, and spends as much time perched on one of his shoulders as she can get away with. (Dan pretends he doesnt like the attention.)

Damian has tested dan's reflexes and situational awareness and has determined that he is a worthy battle butler. (Dan thinks damian is an adorable little murder child.)

Jason took one look at dan, turned around, and walked away. He is now haunted night and day by some white-haired green eyed eldritch girl that claims to be dan's sister. (Dan took one look at jason's whole thing and decided it was above his paygrade, so he sicced dani on him to help filter out the weird ecto infection he's got.)

Stephanie spent every spare moment she had for a solid two weeks pestering dan, asking a million questions and annoying the hell out of him. Then she just... stopped. (Dan figures he passed some sort of bullshit detection test.)

Duke avoids dan almost as much as bruce does, because he's 'hard to look at.' (Dan would be offended if he didnt already know the twerp could se his ghost aura.)

Tim is convinced that dan is a demon of some sort. The only reason he hasnt confronted dan is because cass is utterly convinced that he's "reformed," whatever that means. (The fact that dan can drug tim's sealed energy drinks to knock him out has not helped in this matter.)

Dick acts like he's blissfully unaware of anything weird whatsoever, but the way he hovers gives away how acutely aware he is of each and every one of his younger siblings' concerns. (The hovering toned down quite a bit after that one time dan thwarted a kidnapping attempt on one of dick's precious baby siblings by merely entering the room and glaring down the perpetrator.)

The tags are delicious

I imagine that Dan would somehow make himself scarce whenever the actual Batman appears. The usual reasoning of his disappearance would be: he's guarding his employer and his gaggle of children. No one outside Batfam would believe him ofc, since Batman is right out there.

Meanwhile the Batfam is just. Where did the big beefy butler go??? Could've sworn he was here a moment ago??

And by the time they have Batman and Dan being located in the same place, Dan can just mess with people around them even more. Some examples of his excuses of being seen in the same time with Batman be like:

1) He's a clone

2) I'm a hologram

3) Oh, my son (not really, but the twerp (Danny)'s tiny enough to be seen like that lol) is using my costume.

4) I asked a friend to impersonate me

5) etc

Bruce is just so miffed that the media lapped it up all the time.