got a masters degree in being ignored

looks like someone got referred to as et al on their paper LMAO

no one:

me, talking about my fave character:

7 Crows - Illustrations for the Crooked Kingdom special edition by our patron saint @lbardugo

words can’t explain how honored I was to create the artwork for this

“Hey guess what”

“No you have to guess”

Has this been done?

what i really mean when i ask people if i can read around them:

When i read books alone and it gets to a good part it looks like I’m having a freaking seizure

I feel personally attacked

Thanks for the quote, gremlin.

If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.

If the fic doesn’t have multiple scenes where two people almost kiss but then don’t because of a contrived interruption that they are both grateful for and angry about, until the desperate reader is forced every other paragraph to mutter, “this is fucking ridiculous, this is bullshit, I’m so fucking mad, please update sooooooooooon,” then it isn’t a slow burn. It is a romance and that is a lovely thing but. Slow burns should feel like being set on fire unto your death but the tinder is people not kissing and the spark is people who don’t admit they love each other and the whole thing is. You know. Slow.

I once read a slow burn where the main pairing didn’t even speak to each other ontil 80k words in

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read and the only true slow burn fic

I’m at mcdonalds and this teenage boy just asked his friend why he was wearing a superman shirt with a batman hat and he said “they’re boyfriends you asshole” the children………… are our future perhaps

ppl are implying this is fake and I won’t try to convince u bc idc but I gotta ask: do u think if I wanted to make something up it would be a story where I’m sitting at mcdonalds alone and eavesdropping on teenagers when one of them said something funny? do u really think that’s the flattering picture of myself I wish to present? sad nosy lady at mcdonalds?

Instructions on Food: Cook 20-24 minutes.

Me: Using my Superior Intellect, I have deduced that the Optimal Cooking Time is precisely… 22 minutes. 

my advice for a haunting? real solid 100% foolproof Ghost Advice™? every time something creepy happens, turn in the direction of whatever it was, pause a moment, then slowly lick ur lips and say “…do that again” in ur most seductive voice. the ghost will feel very awkward and leave immediately. 

then fuck the ghost you cowards

have any of yall had a weird last few weeks or is that just me & everyone i know irl? bc theres something in the air i Swear

like ok:

-one of my neighbors was straight up murdered, the cops showed up, the people who manage my building sent out an email about it, and then we just. never heard anything about it again. i tried to check for news online but there’s nothing

-five separate people i know have had real bad mental breaks

-e v e r y o n e i’ve talked to abt it has been having vivid nightmares and/or trouble sleeping

-three separate people i know have been in unrelated car crashes

-one of my friends sisters just. disappeared into the woods for a few days

-a guy came up to me n my friend while we were waiting for someone else outside my building on the street yesterday and very seriously asked me where the haunted mannequin that looks out onto the street from one of our building windows is & wouldn’t accept me telling him I hadn’t seen one. he insisted it had been there since the building was built in the 90s even when i told him our building was only built two years ago

ok apparently there. is a mannequin. also it was apparently put there to replace a watchman that was murdered and listen. im not gonna say this possibly haunted mannequin has been wrecking havoc in my life and also may have murdered my neighbor but im also not NOT saying that

.