I think one of the funniest things to see in Star Wars fandom is this idea that Anakin and Padme would actually genuinely be good for each other and be a happy, healthy couple if only Anakin didn't go dark or if only Palpatine hadn't manipulated them or something along those lines.

And I'm over here like "based on what common values and interests?"

The things they share the most in common are the things that make them TOXIC, it's the very traits they share that lead them to their shared doom and destruction. Their shared selfishness, greed, and ambition is what allows them to throw aside their ideals in order to be together no matter the cost. Their shared willingness to ignore reality in favor of what they WANT to believe is what allows their situation to continue to deteriorate.

Padme fights for democracy, and Anakin believes in dictatorships.

Padme wants a large family because she has fond memories of her childhood with her own family, and Anakin wants one person whose life revolves around him and him alone.

Padme (usually) believes in mercy and justice, and Anakin believes in might makes right.

What about them would make anyone think they'd actually ever be a functional couple when the only stuff they have in common are the lies they tell themselves about each other?

They would be terrible parents. Anakin would resent the twins for taking attention away from him and Padme would be frustrated that they aren't perfectly behaved at all times. And the twins, being Force-sensitive, would pick up on all those negative feelings and internalize them. The results would be... unpleasant, in a variety of possible directions.

Personally, I think Anakin would still Fall. Acting as if it could ONLY be possible in that one specific instance shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the character. I just hope the kids aren't around when he finally loses his temper for good. I would hope Padme might scrape together enough common sense to get them out of there before/when it happens, but she doesn't have the best track record on that score.

friend made my birthday cake

Very important addition

Every time I think about, “Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend.” I start laughing because IT HAPPENED LIKE TWELVE YEARS AGO and THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE WERE SIDIOUS AND PLAGUEIS like there’s no way for the Jedi to even know this story existed, it’s not a millennia old tale, it was INCREDIBLY RECENT and they were Sith Lords IN HIDING, yet Palpatine just says that entire story with his whole chest like Anakin’s never going to go go the Jedi and say, “Hey, what’s up with never telling me about that Sith Legend Darth Plagueis?” so the Jedi can go “who the fuck is Darth Plagueis????” and Palpatine is RIGHT, Anakin’s brain is just like a hamster on a squeaky wheel, “oh okay I don’t know enough to tell if that’s true or not but I’m just gonna believe it”.  ABOUT A STORY THAT HAPPENED A DECADE AGO, NOT SOME ANCIENT HISTORY.  The absolute gall of Sheev Palpatine, there will never be another villain like him, he’s the bestworst.

#the funniest part about it for me is that it’s probably not even that uncommon of a story with the Sith#say Anakin did go demand the Jedi tell him about this#they’d tell him they’ve never heard of a Plagueis but sure lots of Sith were convinced they’d found the secrets of immortality#never worked out for them#and getting murdered in their sleep by their apprentice? a dime a dozen with the Sith#“the chancellor is probably just conflating various stories about historical Sith…wait why was he talking about Sith legends anyway?” (via @jedi-order-apologist) I am crying at the idea that Jocasta Nu, after being asked by a manic Anakin Skywalker about the Darth Plagueis legend, says she doesn’t know anything about that name, but she does have a dozen other stories about various elements that sound halfway familiar, so perhaps this is an amalgamation of various other stories, and she dumps like TWENTY VOLUMES of encyclopedias about the Sith in Anakin’s lap and says, okay, everything you need to know is in these books.  And Anakin is saved from diving face first into the dark side through the power of him falling asleep in the third volume in the middle of the Jedi Archives because a) he hasn’t slept in a week and b) they’re not nearly as exciting as he thought they’d be.  Jocasta just drapes a cloak over his shoulders and leaves him be with a soft pat to his back, he looks like he needed the rest.

#the idea of jocasta being like ‘hmm yes im afraid the chancellor only has a layman’s understanding of sith legends’ is soooo funny (via @gil-estel) Jocasta’s reaction to hearing about Sheev’s story being, “Those citations sound like complete shit.” is absolutely sending me.  If you can’t properly cite your sources, Jocasta Nu isn’t buying your bullshit, Sidious.

#peer reviewed ✌️ #(unlike palpatine) (via @gil-estel) Jocasta submitting Palpatine’s “story” for peer review, which leads to the uncovering that he’s the Sith Lord because they have to look into his sources, is THE funniest way for the Jedi to find out about him being Darth Sidious.

when obi-wan said 'I won't kill anakin' and then spent the entire rest of his life following through on that. fuck everyone else obi-wan I respect you yoda should've taken you at your fucking word

'boohoo why did he walk away and not kill anakin this time either even with all the suffering he'll go on to cause if he lets him go' he's told you why very clearly you just didn't believe him I guess!! desperately not killing anakin is obi-wan's main export. it's his universal constant, his life's work, his magnum opus. he gets creative about not killing that guy. he tries to send anakin's teenage twink son to do the job for him because he simply can't. he fucking... peaces out and dies to avoid killing anakin. that's like his whole deal. whether he's right to be like this is another entirely separate conversation but it is what he is

The Jedi could never have fought with a droid army because Anakin Skywalker, nerd extraordinaire, would have reprogrammed them all to give running commentary on how cool he was.  “AND HERE COMES SKYWALKER WITH THE STEEL LIGHTSABER–!”  “AND THE CROWD GOES WILD AS SKYWALKER EXECUTES A PERFECT BEHIND THE BACK DEFLECT OF THREE BLASTER BOLTS!”  “AN-A-KIN!  AN-A-KIN!  HE KIN DO IT LIKE NO ONE ELSE KIN!” with bonus added crowd cheering noises pumped out over their speakers.

I need you all to read these tags with me: you make it sound like this wouldn’t be a sound tactic into annoying the shit out of your enemy. 10/10 would want a bunch of annoying commentating droids on my team (via @bpdanakins) #this is amazing and absolutely true#he would have also programmed them to boo people#but not any of his enemies#just dooku#and instructed all of them to film his face when they do (via @obiwanobi) Because I’m currently imagining Anakin reprogramming the droids to chant POO-DOO-DOO-KU, POO-DOO-DOO-KU, POO-DOO-DOO-KU while they fight. Also one of the droids is holds up a transmitter above his head and plays “Eye of the Space Tiger” every time Dooku appears and Anakin sings along (rather nicely even!) WENT THE DISTANCE~ NOW I’M BACK ON MY FEET~ JUST A MAN AND HIS WILL TO SURVIVE~~ A solid 50% of the time Dooku just turns around and leaves without a word and they take back the planet they’re there to liberate from the Separatists.

considering that canonically we know anakin is a robotics nerd with 1 friend (who he calls Dad by mistake at least once a week) and 0 rizz, i’m very enamoured by the fact that in any NO66 Good End AU, all of the jedi would be so confused that HE was the one with the secret wife. i have a scene in my head where a couple council members, let’s say depa and mace, are chilling gossiping and depa says “omg GUESS who’s secretly married” and mace names every single member of the order living and dead before guessing anakin

(via @ozvezdja)

Everyone stop and read this thread about the most insane parts of Star Wars canon.

...what?

I was reading a fic that touched on the awkward Anakin&Obi-Wan age difference a few days ago, and for some reason the thought that occurred to me was not the usual "Qui-Gon married Shmi after Tahl's death, so they're stepbrothers" but, rather… a solid explanation for weird age differences is being an aunt or uncle.

And I think there is something to be explored, in an AU, with the idea of Obi-Wan being Shmi's younger brother.

I don't know what to do with this but I think it could be fun especially if spliced with one of those Stewjon-is-in-Mando-Space settings whether by blood or by an adoption (lots of options), but in some way them just being Connected before anything.

There are a lot of plot options here, but rn my mind is on

I would hope that Qui-Gon would have the foresight to go "this is going to come out the second Anakin introduces himself, if Obi-Wan remembers basically Anything, or if Anakin has ever heard his 'Jedi Uncle's' name."

And so when Qui-Gon calls up Obi-Wan, he's just like "Hey... so... like... do you remember anything about your birth family? You know, from before the Jedi? Did you have a sister? Do you know her name? Ah. Okay. Right. So. About that."

Flaming Reds and Cold Blues 🔥🌊

Anakin is especially volatile in the Avatar State. He puts people and things around him in great danger of being burnt to the ground. Sadly for him, he's emotionally unstable, and can be triggered into the state more so than past Avatars.

Master Obi-Wan is the only one brave enough to approach him. (Besides Anakins friend Ahsoka, but Obi-Wan doesn't let her try.) He is also the only one able to calm him down and snap him out of it.

[anakin voice] can i keep him

generation swap au!! basically obi wan and ahsoka swap places in the lineage and now Shenanigans Are Afoot. everyone keeps the same age gaps so ahsoka and anakin are 5 years apart and obi wan and anakin are 16 years apart

qui gon survives naboo because i say so, and is technically anakin’s master but as his injury rendered him permanently temple-bound, ahsoka takes up mentorship/a supervisory role for anakin on missions

they begin to get a reputation for. Explosive Solutions To Problems.

years down the line when anakin is a senior padawan he meets initiate obi wan after he gets landed creche duty after a typical tano-skywalker mission forces him into medical leave. initiate obi wan takes one look at anakin and instantly decides to be his friend.

what that ends up meaning is that obi wan keeps trying to toddle along on missions with them because he “just wants to make sure they all get back okay” and they (qui gon and ahsoka) have to keep gently shepherding him back to the creche. 

anakin is like “i blew up the trade federation at age 9 why can’t he come along???”

“he is THREE”

generation swap au again bc this au has me by the throat

starring obi wan as the unofficial council mascot who’s called in when Certain Individuals From That Migraine Inducing Lineage get a little too rowdy

#mace deserves to get to hold up a baby yelling at ahsoka and anakin (via @gffa)

He does and you should say it!

also anh is extremely funny now. 2 of the last 3 times theyve met face to face obi wan has fucked vader up SEVERELY and could have killed him but only decided not to and vader still walks into the confrontation on the death star with all the confidence in the world

Star Wars Radio Drama - A New Hope This drama added a really amazing scene to the aftermath of the escape off the Death Star, where Luke and Leia have a much longer conversation and some really good insights into the characters.  Mark Hamill (Luke) and Ann Sachs (Leia) are both really fantastic in their roles, especially as Luke gets more and more worked up about how Vader has taken everything from him. LUKE:  “He just… stood there, Leia.  Just stood there and let himself be cut down.” LEIA:  “Oh, Luke….” LUKE:   “Why wouldn’t he defend himself?” LEIA:   “I can’t explain it to you, Luke.  The Jedi lead their lives according to what they believe the Force demands of them.  It’s not always something the rest of us can understand.” LUKE:   “But that still doesn’t–” LEIA:   “I know that Ben must have had some reason, some overriding purpose in allowing Darth Vader to take his life.” LUKE:   “Vader!?  That was Vader who killed him?” LEIA:   “Yes!  He’s the one who’s been trying to recover the plans to the Death Star.” LUKE:   “Vader killed my father!  Vader betrayed the Jedi and Vader’s troops killed my aunt and uncle!“ LEIA:   “Luke, calm down–” LUKE:   “Vader’s taken away everything I ever had!  And I ran from him.  Don’t you understand that?  Vader took away everything I ever had.” LEIA:   “Everything I had, too, Luke.” LUKE:   “Alderaan, your whole world, destroyed!  How can you live with that?  How do you go on?” LEIA:   “You find a purpose to justify the sacrifice.” LUKE:   “….like Ben did.” LEIA:   “Yes.  Mine’s to stop Vader and Tarkin and the Empire.  I think that’s worthwhile.  What about you?” LUKE:   “Yes.  I do, too.  It’s just– Ben seemed like he’d always be there, you know?  Like he was the one thing I could always count on.  And that–” LEIA:   “What, Luke?” LUKE:   “I thought I heard him after he was cut down, I thought I heard him.” It never even occurred to me that Luke didn’t know that was Vader that killed Obi-Wan, that he found out later, the gut-punch of how much this person has taken from him–Vader killed his father, Vader killed Ben, the person that Luke relied on as steady ground, after Vader’s troops killed the two people that raised him, the entire reason that he was still staying on Tatooine, because they were all he had. Vader keeps taking everything he has, over and over. It’s the same with Leia–no, he didn’t give the order, but he tortured her brutally, he held her back while Tarkin did it, he has done more than almost anyone to keep the Empire the way it is.  That Leia seizes on him as the focal point of her fury, because there’s no one else, but also because this is what Vader does, he takes everything from people, that she has to find something to make all of this loss worthwhile. I’ve always loved that Leia reached out and comforted Luke after the loss of Ben, that I never saw it as her undercutting her own losses.  Instead, that it’s about Leia refusing to give up her kindness and compassion, that the Empire took her family and her home from her, but they will not take her care for other people.  She burns with fire, but that doesn’t mean her touch is any less kind. The parallels of how much Vader took from both of these characters, long before they ever knew they were twins and Vader’s biological children, are hit even harder in this scene and it’s fantastic for it.

LITERALLY ZERO OF THIS IS OK. 

ANAKIN, YOU IDIOT: W H Y. 

I genuinely didn’t even think to consider that Luke wouldn’t know/be 100% sure  who the fuck that was that killed Obi-Wan, and then finding out IT WAS VADER would be like, THE WORST THING HE COULD POSSIBLY HEAR. That’s the guy who took HIS DAD away from him! AND ALSO TOOK HIS DAD AWAY FROM OBI-WAN, WHO WAS ALL FOND AND DAMN NEAR MISTY-EYED, STILL, ABOUT ANAKIN. THAT’S THE GUY WHO NOW ALSO TOOK OBI-WAN AWAY FROM LUKE. 

(And as we all know, “took Obi-Wan away from me” is like, a top item on the List of Shit a Skywalker Will Absolutely Murder You For. Aaaaand now I’m laughing and crying because I’m assuming Anakin was also 100% ready to KICK HIS OWN ASS after that confrontation on some level, because he technically took Obi-Wan away from himself.) 

ANAKIN ABSOLUTELY WAS READY TO KICK HIS OWN ASS FOR TAKING OBI-WAN AWAY FROM HIM. I’M READY TO KICK ANAKIN’S ASS ON BEHALF OF ANAKIN FOR ANAKIN TAKING OBI-WAN AWAY FROM ANAKIN, SOBS.

baby girl i cut pears in ways you couldn’t imagine

Obi-Wan in canon: Yes, I was in love with Satine and probably still have feelings for her to some degree and likely always will, but I am a Jedi first and foremost and that means making choices that keep us from being in a relationship. Anyway, those are my feelings, would you like to talk about your feelings, for your mother or Padme or anything else perhaps?

Anakin in canon: I have never had feelings at any point in my life, I don't even know what a feeling is, how dare you accuse me of having feelings that's ridiculous and insulting and obviously you're just accusing me of stuff I didn't do because you're jealous of how great I am. A Past? I have never had a past, I exist only in the present moment and if you ask me about my past I will eviscerate you where you stand.

Fandom: Obi-Wan is so super repressed and won't tell anybody how he feels about them and if only he had been less repressed about his emotions and been more like Anakin and more open and accepting about his feelings for people, Anakin might not have genocided Obi-Wan's whole family. Obviously between the two characters, Obi-Wan is the more repressed, this is clearly what the text is trying to convey.

I AM EMOTIONAL ABOUT THE MANGA VERSION OF LUKE’S MEMORY OF OBI-WAN’S SACRIFICE ON THE DEATH STAR AND HOW MUCH IT STILL MEANS TO HIM. Luke’s sorrow at how much he still misses Obi-Wan, even that they didn’t spend a lot of time together, they were connected, he knew how much Obi-Wan cared about him, and he still struggles with understanding how Obi-Wan could let go like that with no regret, that this is a Luke who is still processing, still learning, still growing (not that a Jedi ever stops growing and learning) and he’s not fully there yet, but it’s still so deeply meaningful to him, the way Obi-Wan died and what it meant. Not just that he saved Luke’s life, but how he did it:  As a Jedi.  Who had made peace with that it was time to let go and trust the Force with his life. That there was something Obi-Wan valued more than his life, there was something greater than himself that was more important to him, and he had peace with that, he had contentment with that. I AM CRYING ABOUT OBI-WAN KENOBI, WHO SUFFERED THROUGH SO MUCH MORE THAN HE DESERVED, BUT ULTIMATELY OBI-WAN WAS REWARDED BY HIS DEDICATION TO THE JEDI PATH AND TO THE FORCE AND TO THOSE AROUND HIM. HE DIED AT PEACE WITH HIS OWN END.  AND HE PASSED SUCH MEANING AND IMPORTANCE ON TO LUKE.

I… don’t think I’ve ever seen quite how strong the connection is between this and Luke’s death in TLJ.  Not just that they’re mirrors of each other on a meta level, but that Luke was so shaped by witnessing Obi-Wan’s death and consciously chose the same path.

Luke’s journey in TLJ does echo a lot of Obi-Wan’s journey (except Obi-Wan went into exile to protect something, Luke went because of his mistaken beliefs/depression brain) but I would argue that it’s connected even better to the end of Return of the Jedi. That Obi-Wan vs Vader on the Death Star is the first lightsaber battle we see in Star Wars and Luke’s battle against Vader and the Empire on the second Death Star is the final lightsaber battle in the original trilogy that we see.

These are our bookends in the original trilogy–two battles where a Jedi steps back and says: No, I will no longer fight you, Anakin/Vader.  The choice is yours. Luke says, “I am a Jedi, like my father before me.” because everything Luke knows about the Jedi–and thus Anakin Skywalker as a Jedi–comes from Obi-Wan and Yoda, he is aligning himself with them and circling back to that first lightsaber battle he saw. He steps back and says you can strike me down, but you can’t break me. Obi-Wan is willing to sacrifice himself to save Luke and the others. Luke is willing to sacrifice himself to reach that last ounce of compassion in Vader and because he was this close to giving in to his anger–just a moment ago, he was absolutely hacking furiously away at Vader, his anger was roiling so intensely that both the Emperor and Vader felt it, they taunted him with how they could feel it, Luke had to return to the lessons that Obi-Wan and Yoda taught him. So, he steps back and says no.  And the choice is once again left in Anakin Skywalker’s hands, who is finally, finally ready to accept that there is an ounce of compassion left in him and that he’s ready to let it all go, all that hate and rage and pain, ready to sacrifice himself for someone else again. That’s why Anakin wearing Jedi robes at the end of the movie is so important, why it’s not just the return of the Jedi to the galaxy, but that Anakin Skywalker returned to the Jedi. Obi-Wan’s death in A New Hope is connected to the Luke’s willingness to die in Return of the Jedi, why Luke’s declaration of being a Jedi is so important, that it’s not just a guilt trip for Anakin, but it’s a rejection of the dark and an embracing of the ways of the Jedi. Luke’s death in The Last Jedi does play on this as well, his willingness to sacrifice himself (though, Kylo’s actions really have very little impact, whether he struck at Luke or not, Luke was going to die from the effort of projecting himself) to save the others, but even within just the OT, those scenes are deeply connected and resonant with each other.

Got emotional thinking about jedi lineages. 

Like. Maybe Ahsoka ties her obis in double knots because that’s how Anakin taught her. He told her it helped them stay on better.

But Anakin does it because that’s how Obi-Wan helped him, the first time he wore the robes that seemed impossibly heavy, with the weight of his new life.

But Obi-Wan only tied it like that because he had seen Qui-Gon do the same, and had desperately wanted to be perfect, so copied his master.

But Qui-Gon only did it out of habit- of all the rules of decorum that Dooku taught him that he ignored, the obi knot had stuck.

But Dooku had been trained by the greatest master of them all, so assumed however Yoda tied his robes was the most correct.

But maybe that is all because, centuries ago, a master whose name the rest of them will never know, taught his tiny padawan to double knot his obis, because they just never fit right.

And Ahsoka will never know that she got this from a jedi who lived in a totally different world from her, who she never knew and would never know her, but the legacies are there, no matter how small. And I bet every lineage has a handful of them.

I just… the jedi leave behind their blood ancestors, but they still have things running in their families.