every night as i fumble to plug my phone into its charger i think of how bbc sherlock holmes would classify me as an alcoholic

if you’re ever worried about how weird your fanfic is just remember that Aristophanes wrote about Aeschylus and Euripides having a rap battle in the underworld while Dionysus croaked at hell frogs

This is my favourite baroque painting

Puscifer // The Humbling River

Angel, angel, what have I done? I’ve faced the quakes, the wind, the fire. I’ve conquered country, crown, and throne. Why can’t I cross this river?

Mallory Ortberg strikes again with Dirtbag Macbeth, next in her Dirtbag Shakespeare collection over at the-toast.

#SWAG RATING 100/100 (via bearatheon)

Independence Day, when we celebrate that fateful day way back in 1996 when Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved us from the alien invasion

art by upoyk

But Confucius has answered them with the final whistle, it’s all over. Germany, having trounced England’s famous midfield trio of Bentham, Locke and Hobbes in the semi-final, have been beaten by the odd goal.

laughing with a mouth full of blood // st. vincent

my type of girl is “girl” and my type of boy is “stand 20 feet away and fill out a form about your political views, give me references, tell me where you want to be in five years, please buy moisturizer and do something different with your hair and we’ll consider your application and get back to you in 20 business days”