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hit over my head (repeatedly)

@ruidust / ruidust.tumblr.com

steph 24 she/they back from the dread
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Anonymous asked:

Lexa is back?????

Yeah. Kinda. (No, not really because Jrot is the worst and would have never given us that).

So if you’re like me, you haven’t watched the 100 in years and kind of forgot that the show was still on the air, until two weeks ago when Bellamy died and there was a riot/dance party on twitter, depending on your leanings. I still think the show is crap but it ate such a big part of my brain during a really difficult time, so since the series is ending tonight (and because ADC showed up in the finale), I decided read the recap. Apparently here’s the deal:

The big bad of the series is this whole crazy cult centered around some supreme beings of light (???) or some shit who are coming to judge all of humanity, and it’s been building up to one big test where the human race to either get destroyed or “transcend and join a universal consciousness.” The judged species gets to send a representative to take the test on its behalf and based on that test, the fate of humanity is decided. (It’s like a dumber version of S2 of the Good Place, with no Maya Rudolph and bad CGI. )

ANYWAY. For whomever takes the test, the Judge which will take the form of that person’s “greatest enemy, greatest love, or greatest teacher.”

Human Cult Leader tries to take the test but gets shot midway by Clarke who takes over the test. Clarke fails the test and Raven appeals for them. So the three forms we see the Judge takesare Callie for the Big Bad (worst rival/enemy), Abby for Raven’s (greatest teacher) and Lexa for Clarke (her greatest love).

And in case you were thinking that maybe Lexa was greatest teacher or whatever:

I guess Raven is able to convince them that humanity is worth saving, because Octavia gets everyone to stop fighting? Anyway, humanity gets to transcend or whatever.

HOWEVER, since Clarke shot Cult Leader and failed, she doesn’t get to transcend and gets condemned to live alone for the rest of her days. Like even the dog transcends (WHEN DID THEY EVEN GET A DOGGO?)

Last scene of the series is Clarke being all sad when she finds this out and goes, “I don’t want to live alone.”

But then Judge appears next to her as Lexa says, “You’re not.”

Turns out her friends decided not to transcend with everyone else and decide to stay with her. As Clarke gets to live her life with her friends, Not!Lexa disappears as all the core cast (who hasn’t died yet) shows up, and that’s where the series ends.

Since Bellamy died two episodes ago, he get the “honor“ of being right but cannot transcend since he dead. As such, Bob never shows up in the episode at all.

According to JRot, “they can never procreate and they can’t transcend, so this is it for them. They’re going to live their days together as a family, grow old together, and when they die, the human race is over. It’s OK, though, because we transcended and joined the universal consciousness. So it’s a happy ending for the human race.”

But in conclusion TLDR: Lexa is cemented as Clarke’s greatest love but we don’t really get her back, she, Abby, Bellamy and everyone else who died before stay dead, Clarke doesn’t get her kid because Madi decided to stay with the human collective rather than die alone as the only significantly younger person in the group, and the human race is over.

But it’s a happy ending because they all get to die together?

(What a trash show).

So yes, for those keep track of the ship wars, because that’s really what you’re asking about: Clexa Endgame, Bellarkes get Beliza, everyone in canon dies, and we are all free of this terrible, absurd show forever.

THE END.

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reblogged

The Last of Us 2 - Symbolism of Eyes

—MAJOR SPOILER WARNING—-

I would like to talk about something that really stuck with me after playing The Last of Us 2, and which really made me think a lot. This is gonna be a loong post lol. Not sure anybody will read this. 

We know that the motto of the Fireflys is “When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light.” Quite obviously, the ongoing problem addressed in The Last of Us 2 is that our characters “have stopped looking for the light.” The game revolves around blind hate, revenge and retaliation. And loss as the origin of those. 

Ellie’s journal entries are as dark as can be. Most of them are dedicated to Joel of course. You’ll probably have noticed that she never draws his eyes. All she does is practice drawing eyes a lot. What’s more, she keeps talking about feeling blind herself, she says she’s lost the light.

For me, it’s like she doesn’t see any hope, no joy, no future in which she can find true happiness ever again. She’s *had* this hope. She wanted to forgive Joel for what he did, start anew. They’ve wasted a lot of time because Ellie understandably couldn’t forgive him so easily for what he’s done. At the end of the game, we get to see the last conversation that happened between them, the night before Joel dies. In this conversation, Ellie tells him that she “would like to try” to forgive him. And that’s probably the moment they reconnected after years of distance, tension and resentment. Ellie speaks of this last conversation in one of her early journal entries: 

I was thinking about the meaning of Ellie not being able to draw his eyes. One that came to my mind is that whenever she tries to imagine them, all she can see is his disfigured face right before he dies. 

Ellie looked him in the eyes and begged for him to get up. It was the last time they really looked each other in the eyes, had this connection, maybe saw all the things they went through together flash before them right before it was taken away from them. We find out that she has PTSD or something very similar to it when she lives on the farm with Dina. She can’t get the images out of her head: 

Despite them having other people in their lives after settling in Jackson, they complemented and gave each other what they needed the most. 

Despite Ellie saying it, we know that they they could never be done with each other, because too much connects them. That’s what the first game was all about, after all. 

Ellie had hurt Joel over and over again. He’s not a hero, but we love him, because we love Ellie, and because we can understand why he did what he did. And Ellie does too. Her pain and hurt is just as understandable. She met him with almost cruel resentment and rejection all the time, got angry at him for small things, even when he meant well (like after she kissed Dina). 

It’s this fight they had that she remembers right before deciding to finish what she’s started, to find Abby and kill her. When she couldn’t sleep on that farm, she got up, went to her room, closed the window, knocked over the guitar and thought of that night. 

And I don’t think this is all about revenge. I think Ellie feels deeply guilty for having been to him that way, because she understands how much she means to him, and because she understands how deeply hurt and broken he is himself. She never wanted things to be like this between them, and she just wanted to forgive him in the end - she loves him and understands his pain better than anybody else.  

But she never got to get things right. This chance was taken away from them, her forgiveness came “too late”. I think Ellie is so deeply broken herself, and I feel like she hates herself. Hates that she was the one who didn’t turn when Riley did. That her life only would have mattered if they killed her to make a cure. All these years, she was mean and cruel toward him. Now he’s dead, and part of her wants to make it up to him. 

By wanting to kill Abby, she doesn’t only want to avenge Joel, she wants to redeem herself. 

Notice how she can’t draw Joel’s and Abby’s eyes, but she can draw JJ’s and Jesse’s eyes? 

I think that that she can’t draw their eyes has a good reason. With Joel, it’s not only that she can’t get the images out of her head. I also don’t think it’s because she can’t remember what he looked like - I think she can. All too well. 

I think it’s because if she imagined his eyes before her, it’s like Joel would reflect everything she does and did. His eyes would “stare” at her, as she wrote in one journal entry, but then she replaced it with “smile”. She associates him with warmth and love, but what she does is losing herself. And he’d never want that. She does things that deeply traumatize her more and more. She tortures people, kills a pregnant woman. Looking him in the eyes would mean reflecting on her actions and on herself. Putting loved ones at risk and prioritizing revenge while neglecting her family and other relationships. Looking him in the eyes would mean for her to acknowledge that Joel would never condone that. He’s gone and nothing she does can change it. And he’d want her to be safe and stay true to herself and her values. Not be blinded by hate and grief. 

Abby’s eyes represent something similar. Ellie knows that Joel crossed a lot of people. She knows he killed hundreds of people, especially Fireflys, including Marlene (although we don’t know if she knows that). She knows that he did a lot of bad shit in the past. Abby and her friends spared Ellie and Tommy, and that indicates that they aren’t universally bad people. Even when Dina asks Ellie what she thinks why they spared them, Ellie doesn’t want to talk about it and says that it doesn’t matter. But it does. 

And she’s avoiding and denying this gray area. She’s dividing the world into good and bad now, disregarding everything in between. Even in the end, when she sees that Abby is just a normal human being like Ellie is, taking care of Lev, she feels obliged to kill her. 

Jesse and JJ don’t represent her blind hate. They represent the love and people in her life that still make her happy and care about her. The life she could have, if she were able to “leave it all behind”. She doesn’t associate them with pain and loss. 

Only when she finally has the choice to kill Abby, she remembers the last conversation she had with Joel - and it was about forgiveness. But it was not only about deciding to forgive him. It was about understanding that the world isn’t as simple as good and bad, black or white. People are more than that, just like Joel was neither a hero, nor a villain. Just like Abby is neither a hero nor a villain. 

Of course, by deciding to break the cycle of revenge, which is the most obvious topic in the game, she spares Lev of going through the same pain Ellie and Abby did. But I think something deep inside her forgives Abby for what she’s done. I think Ellie understands that Abby isn’t just a bad person, just like Joel wasn’t. By stopping there, Ellie undergoes the growth not to be like Abby and kill the one who’s responsible for her loss, just like Abby grew and decided not to kill Dina despite the fact that Ellie killed Mel. 

And she finally lets her mask slip. When she decides to let Abby live, she finally accepts that Joel is dead and “reconciles” with him. She decides not to turn into something she’s not and let her grief and hate get the better of her. Ellie understands what she’s done, the mistake she’s made. How she’s lost herself and how she wronged Dina. 

And that’s when she can finally draw his eyes. 

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clacing

We as a fandom focus a lot on Catra’s feelings for Adora and not nearly enough on Adora’s feelings for Catra so I’m starting a list of little underappreciated moments on Adora’s side that spoke to me as a person:

- Adora doing the Locker Lean while flirting with Catra and laughing in the dorkiest way then jumping when Shadow Weaver comes in like she’s been caught red-handed

- That flirty ass “Why don’t we go find out?~”

- Adora clinging to Catra’s arm when the skiff picks up speed and the camera focusing on it

- Adora’s soft smile when she wakes up after a nightmare and sees Catra at the foot of her bed

- The fact that Adora couldn’t sleep “without anyone around” for the first time, and so sneaked into Glimmer’s room and slept curled up at the foot of her bed like Catra used to do with her

- “Is this what love feels like?”

- Adora grabbing Catra by the waist when her HAND was RIGHT THERE

- WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS TH

- The Look

- “I want to be the best She-Ra, I want to protect the planet, but Catra… she’s just… in my head.”

- Adora obsessing over Catra for the entirety of s2 and blaming her when literally anything goes wrong

- Adora spending a whole episode worrying about what Catra is planning and creating contingency plan after contingency plan because Catra knows how to get to her - and when it’s go-time and she’s told Catra isn’t even there she looks……. disappointed? 

- And jealous?

- IN THE VERY NEXT EPISODE after the one spent worrying about Catra picking her off and distracting her from the fight, Catra manages to do just that. How? Turns out she just has to run and Adora will follow.

- Bonus Scorpia and Entrapta just standing there like “what the FUCK are we supposed to do”

- The fact that loopy!Adora could barely remember who Glimmer was, but she remembered Catra’s favorite 5-digit number

- More of The Look

- That flirty ass “Oh yeah?~”

- She’s so happy

- Adora watching Spinnerella and Netossa, who are literally married, bickering and being competitive but still loving and caring about each other so much just like she and Catra used to do, and looking like this

- When Scorpia realizes that Shadow Weaver being in Bright Moon is the reason Catra’s been acting so weird and that she’s going to get even worse now that she’s left too and Adora looks at Shadow Weaver in guilt+anger

Feel free to add

The fact that she still pulled this little move even when she had made it clear she was done trying to redeem Catra. The fact that she didn’t use her own residual hurt/anger as an excuse to treat Catra or anyone else like crap (seriously, how many times have you seen that narrative play out in “heroes betrayed by villains” stories?)

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ncamferdam

One of my favorites has always been Adora’s introduction.

We learn a lot about how Adora’s had obedience, structure, and deference to authority drilled into her for her entire life. Perfect soldier, subordinate yourself and your loved ones in service of the First Ones Horde and all. So the fact that the very first thing we see her do is straight up lie to an authority figure to cover for Catra is a nice nod to what she’s actually about

So no one’s going to talk about this

“Hey, Catra”

You’re all absolutely right and I can’t believe I forgot Adora’s flirty “Hey Catra~” knowing Catra was watching before punching a bot

Also:

- Adora is just. internally screaming

- The fact that Adora stole a skiff and planned a romantic getaway because Catra was upset

- Looking at her lips

- Looking at her lips again

- Adora being told by Light Hope to let go of Catra, specifically. And we know now that this had nothing to do with her being from the Horde because Light Hope didn’t care about the Horde and had her own agenda. What she cared about was severing Adora’s strongest connection so she would have no qualms about activating the Heart of Etheria (caps from here because I’m lazy and screencapping Netflix is hell)

- “I told you it’s not because I like you” “I mean, I didn’t- say anything~“

- The absolute tenderness when Adora says “Hey. I miss you too.” like I still haven’t recovered from that I’ll hear that and have a stroke

- How they both just. revert to playing around with each other afterwards. Does Adora laugh this hard with anyone else. Does she. I’m in pain

- The Look. Again

-  “You don’t belong with the Horde” she says as she grabs Catra’s arm with both hands God the yearning the PINING

- Catra’s betrayal at the end of the episode bringing Adora to tears

- This random guard bothers Catra, Adora goes all protective girlfriend on him, and Catra is very smug about it. You didn’t know they were what, random guard

- Intricate rituals

- Adora saving Catra repeatedly in the Portal because she’s not going to leave her behind again then sobbing when she “dies” despite the fact that Catra was literally trying to kill her

+ bonus stuff that isn’t strictly in the show but I’m going to treat as canon:

- “Because I miss you, Catra, and I will always miss you. I miss your smile. I miss the gleam in your eyes when you beat me in a race during training. I miss laughing with you when we would play pranks on the other cadets in the barracks. I even miss you snoring in the bunk above me.”

- “While She-Ra was busy talking to her friend-” “It was more complicated than that!! But yeah we were talking for a while”

- Adora understanding why the Fire Princess destroyed her entire kingdom when she sees Catra with Scorpia

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reblogged

you know what? it’s been long enough i think we can admit that abc’s once upon a time was dumb as all shit and that’s why it fucks

the evil queen’s mom was the queen of hearts, and also the miller’s daughter from rumpelstiltskin. rumpelstiltskin is also the beast from beauty and the beast and peter pan’s son. his wife eloped with captain hook and his mom kidnapped his secondborn son with belle to use as a weapon against his daughter-in-law 

there were four rapunzels- one who only appeared in one episode and then was never mentioned again, and then three from the final season- one of whom was mother gothel in disguise (who is also a nymph and had a scene identical to the prom scene in carrie), one of whom was lady tremaine, and the final of whom was alice in wonderland, captain hook’s daughter

hades fell in love with the wicked witch of the west and also was that guy from ally mcbeal and we were supposed to take that 100% seriously 

maleficent got impregnated by a mystery man and laid an egg, out of which hatched a human baby. they went to find her dad and never showed up in the show again. we find out in the last episode that her dad was zorro and nothing else is mentioned of this 

the frozen characters were all there, completely based on canon with no alterations like everyone else got, and nobody questioned this. cruella de vil was also there and now is probably fighting with king arthur over custody of hell

mérida was there for like a season and a half and not once did she ever get a costume change. they were at a funeral and you can see her bright bluegreen dress just. there 

henry jumped on a lion in new york and gave a speech about how magic is real 

at the end they crowned the evil queen empress of everything just bc 

there was a musical episode

nothing in this show made sense and that’s why it’s fucking hilarious 

HENRY HAD A LOVE INTEREST FROM CAMELOT AND IN HER FINAL APPEARANCE SHE RETCONS HER BACKSTORY AND SAYS HER DAD WAS FROM EARTH AND WE FIND OUT HER DAD WAS THE CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT 

WHICH IS NOT ONLY THE FUNNIEST RETCON IN HISTORY (funnier by the fact he does have the right name, meaning that this was planned and they just forgot to drop any foreshadowing) BUT IF YOU FOLLOW BOOKCANON IT MEANS THAT HER BIRTH NAME IS HELLO-CENTRAL

LITTLE BO PEEP WAS A MOB BOSS

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THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

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swordlesbean

inch resting. i can absolutely accept catra as a burned hufflepuff using slytherin style methods to achieve her goals, but i’m not at all convinced about adora being a slytherin.

If you think about the ambition side of slytherin though. Adora spent her childhood trying to be the best, to be force captain - and she got there. Not just there, but the top scoring ever. Then when she finds out she’s She-Ra, part of her leaving the Horde is because of ‘what’s right’ etc. but it could also be read that she achieved her ambition and is looking for the next step. It’s a crossroads moment. Either she becomes force captain, just another cog in the machine, or she becomes this being who’s destiny is to save etheria which is one hell of an ego stroke and a massive ambition to have. And once she picks that path, sure she masquarades as for loyalty and bravery, but if you read it as slytherin values, it’s just the ambition she chose to pick and she will do anything to reach it - which is why friendships deteriorated last season, even though the gryffindor she wants to be promised angela she’d look out for glimmer. But on top of that you have the aspect of slytherin loyalty, where once it’s earned, they will cut a bitch for you. And you can’t deny that Adora has cut a lot of bitches for her best friend squad. And she clung on to her loyalty to catra for ages, even though she in no way really fought for the friendship after the first few episodes. And i guess what we tend to overlook in our portrayal of dumb jock adora is that she is cunning and tactical. She led a team to the highest scoring test results in episode 1, multiple times she has single handedly won fights against Horde soliders - who train their whole lives. She figured out a bunch of she-ra stuff by herself, and has been put through a bunch of light hopes simulations. She figured out razza’s riddle, she figured out how to stop light hope, to get inside the minds of her enemy. And she’s had to very quickly assimilate into Bright born, so much so we often forget a lot of it is still new to her. She’s using clues around her, and detailed analysis, preparation and planning (ie princess prom) to blend in, because that’s what tactically benefits her, we just don’t notice half of it because we see her being dumb half the time.

Best explanation of this. Thank you

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I wish that ao3 had an option to filter warnings (and tbh certain authors) out like I will never ever want to read it and just seeing it puts me off so much that often I end up closing my browser because that content upsets me so much lmao

There is a way to do this but I can’t recall how to do it. it’s something you type into the box for “other filters” or something, I don’t remember. who knows?? It’s not a great option, and I don’t know if you can sort out authors that way, but it’s better than nothing if someone can reblog this with how to do it!

Alrighty friends! It takes some specificity, but you can do this. Let me show you how!

So I started with going to the Sherlock (TV) section of Ao3. On the right we find this lovely section! ((I know I’m going over things you already probably know, but I figure this post may go to new Ao3 users, so bear with me.))

Underneath this, I chose sort by Kudos, because that’s a quick way to find most popular fics, for the sake of this demonstration. 

With those filters on, we end up with this being our first two results: 

As you can see, we have Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68, and The Internet Is Not Just For Porn by cyerus. So what if I am utterly sick of seeing earlgreytea68 on my list? Let’s pretend I’ve read all their fics, or that I just don’t like her, or whatever. I want this author out. I go to this section on the right: 

In “Search within results” I type earlgreytea68 into the bar, with a minus sign in front. This gives me the following page, upon hitting the sort and filter button:

There goes earlgreytea68! But now I’ve decided that Crack is just not my thing, I’m sick of that, too, for heaven’s sake, I want something reasonable in my gay slash fanfiction about detectives that solve crimes about glowing dogs and irish megalomaniacs. Heaven forbid this get ridiculous.

Well, then I add this to my search:

Which gets rid of everything with that tag. My results are now:

Performance in a Leading Role is now my first result!

You can do this as many times as you want; the biggest problem I have is trying to filter out multi-worded tags. For example, “Secret Relationship” is hard to filter. Better to go with authors you dislike or with words like “DubCon”. 

I hope this helps! Also remember that googling site:archiveofourown.org and then adding search terms will mean google searches Ao3 for you, and sometimes that works far better. 

Good luck!

An excellent in-depth guide! Thank you!!

omg changed my whole ao3 rarepair game

An excellent guide to filtering on AO3!

You can filter out phrases by enclosing them in quotes. For example, if ABO and Hydra Trash Party are not your things, try:

-“alpha/beta/omega dynamics” -”hydra trash party”

I have more advice!

Say, you’re in your random fandom- I went with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, since I’ve been reading Iron Man stuff recently. Tony Stark is awesome.

But anyway, you’re on the page, and you see that there are 174,774 works! That is way too many for a casual afternoon’s browsing.

And you see that the first one is Peter Parker/Tony Stark and that is not your jam. It doesn’t work for you, or it squicks you, whatever. Wouldn’t life be easier if you could browse without seeing that pairing (or whatever pairing you don’t like)? You can!

First, click on that pairing tag(You may want to open this in another tab, actually.):

and it’ll take you to the page for that pairing tag. Click this button:

and then look at the address bar! The actual page is unimportant. Copy the numbers located here:

and go back to the original search page! Down on the side, in the same place you can get rid of other tags, type -relationship_ids:”the number you just copied”

Then hit ‘sort and filter’ annnd… magic!

The fics with that pairing are gone! You can also do multiple pairings, get rid of any tags you don’t like, and sort it by date or length or kudos, or whatever.

Enjoy.

I’d just like to add that these sorts of search modifiers ALSO WORK IN GOOGLE AND MOST RESEARCH DATABASES. The more you know.

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itsmajel

Just a quick reminder that AO3 uses Lucene as a search and index engine.

That means you can pretty much use all the Lucene Query Syntax in the “Seach within result” field.

I don’t think AO3 indexes the whole fic for searching but definitely it’s meta data. Combined with Lucenes awesome query syntax you can do pretty much every search you heart desires.

Addtional Lucene Query Syntax that has not been mentioned yet and you might find useful:

Wildcard Searches

You can use wildcard searches within single terms. For a single character wildcard search use the “?” symbol. For a multiple character wildcard search use the “*” symbol.

AND/OR

Lucene allows you to combin terms through logic operators. You’re looking for fics that are either “reunion” or “enemies to lovers”?

Just put in >“reunion” OR “enemies to lovers”< into the field

and you end up with all the stories that are either or but not both.

But wait, now you’re looking for fics that are both “reunion” and “enemies to lovers” at the same time? Now worries Lucene got you covered.

Just change it into >“"reunion” AND “enemies to lovers”“<

and you’ll get all the fics that mention both “reunion” and “enemies to lovers” somewhere in their meta data (note: it’s not just tags. It’s also title, summary …)

Boosting

You can also boost specific terms when doing a multi term search.

You can use the “^” Operator followed by a number to boost a specific term.

Say you’re interested in fics that are either “first kiss” or “bed sharing” but you’re much more interested in “bed sharing” fics and feel they are more relevant.

You can use the search >“first kiss” “bed sharing”^5<

to manipulate the order of your results in a matter that the score of every fic that contains beg sharing is multiplied by 5. Therefore all fics containing that term are given priority and shown at the top of the list.

You can also combine all of the above, target specifc fields (that’s what you did with the “relationsship_id:xxx”) and many more things.

For more info about the Lucene query syntax check out Apache’s Lucene Query doc.

^ sharing this because we all love fanfics and @itsmajel is a freaking nerd 👌

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Necromancer that doesn’t know they’re a necromancer and thinks they’re just a really good emt

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raimagnolia

That is the funniest thing i have ever read

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ofgeography

the thing was, she wasn’t going to be able to pass the recertification exam, and she couldn’t figure out why. annabelle studied. she practiced. she pulled out every trick and shortcut she’d learned during her two years as an EMT and none of it worked. she just – she didn’t get it. it made no sense.

“wake up,” she urged the dummy, pressing her hands to the pulse points on its wrists. “come on. what the fuck.”

“yeah, i don’t think that asking nicely is going to do the trick,” hank said, his eyebrows raised. his helmet, the special one they’d decorated for him with craft supplies from michael’s when he’d gotten promoted to firestation chief, sat askew on his head. “i can see now why they didn’t pass you.”

annabelle rolled her eyes. “it’s a psychological thing,” she said. “it’s like, you give the brain an instruction and it follows naturally. and the pulse-point thing always works. i don’t know why it’s not, like, in any of the books, but i swear to god it’s worked for me every time.”

it was true that annabelle had the best record on low body counts, which was good because she was the smallest person on the team not counting Georgie, who was a corgi. jake and lillian were always making fun of her for having been the shortest of their whole rookie class. but it hadn’t ever been a problem before; annabelle rarely had to carry anybody out, because she was good enough at getting them on their feet.

but none of that would matter if she couldn’t pass her stupid recertification exam, because they’d take her badge and she’d have to go be, like, a doctor or something.

hank blew out a long breath and sunk down to where she was kneeling on the station floor in full fire gear, giving CPR to the practice dummy, whom they called dierdre. there was a little light that went on when you’d saved its life. it had been a dull gray for an hour now.

“look, AB. i know you’re a good firefighter, and i know you know how to deliver CPR. just do it like you do it during an emergency. you’re overthinking it.”

“but this is what i do during an emergency!” annabelle cried, throwing her hands up. “i put my hands on their pulse points and i use psychological mumbo-jumbo and they just get up and walk!” 

hank blinked. “…really,” he said, voice flat. “people who’ve been inhaling smoke for half an hour just … get up and walk.”

“the brain is an incredibly powerful organ,” said annabelle, shrugging. “look man, i don’t know, okay? but it works. i haven’t had to actually do CPR in like a year and a half.”

he gave her a long, quiet look and said, “well….huh,” before pushing himself back up onto his feet and frowning off into the distance. “keep practicing,” he said after a minute, and left her there.

-

hank switched her team.

“what the fuck, man,” she said, sliding into the truck next to him as the sirens went on. “i can’t get CPR on one fucking dummy and suddenly you don’t trust me to do my job without supervision?”

carl and bethany very carefully did not meet her eyes in the rearview from the backseat. bethany pulled a magazine from beneath the seat and said loudly, “look, carl, jennifer aniston and brad pitt are getting back together.”

“thank christ,” said carl. “i’ve been really worried about jen.”

hank gave annabelle the flat look that had gotten him promoted to firestation chief in the first place, the one that said i’m your dad and you don’t want to disappoint me. as always, annabelle wilted underneath it, sliding down in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. it was a difficult feat in full gear but she wanted him to know she was feeling sullen.

“i trust you completely,” hank told her, his voice a light scold. “i want to see you in action so i can help you figure out what’s going wrong with the dummies. sometimes it’s hard for the brain to accurately remember everything that happens during a crisis.”

annabelle rolled her eyes. “i told you,” she said. “it’s just – it’s the same thing every time, I’m not like, blacking out.”

“great, then i’m about to learn a cool new trick,” hank said serenely, and pulled the truck out of the lot. annabelle kept her gaze focused out of the window, watching the city pass as carl and bethany talked loudly about which celebrities were dating which other celebrities and who wore what better. she tried to swallow down the nerves that tightened her throat. maybe the dummy was right. maybe she was doing something else and didn’t remember it. maybe the last two years had been a fluke and she had no business being a firefighter. maybe she was about to get fired.

there wasn’t a fire, though the alarm was going off. instead they found a bag of smoking popcorn and the collapsed heap of a forty-five year old bachelor type, down to just his boxers and a pair of slippers with llamas on them. he had no pulse. 

hank held carl and bethany back, directing them to deal with the smoke from the popcorn; annabelle he pointed toward the resident with a jerk of his chin. 

she sighed, kneeling by his side. she pressed her hands flat to his heart and then dragged them across his chest and down each arm, to his wrists. with her thumbs on his pulse point, she hissed, “let’s go, man. up and at ’em. you’re not meant to die in your underwear while cooking popcorn, come on.”

she held her breath for a few moments, conscious of hank’s eyes on her, and let out a long sigh of relief when she felt his pulse jump beneath her, watched his eyes flicker. “what the fuck?” he asked, voice a croak. “what happened?”

“you gotta eat more vegetables, bud,” annabelle told him, and looped his arm over her shoulders to help him get to his feet. she was so relieved she could have wept, but instead met hank’s eyes with a challenging glare. see? she thought. i told you. “let’s get you to the ambulance.”

-

“the bad news is that you have a lot of practicing to do if you want to pass your recert,” hank said without preamble, showing up at her apartment. she didn’t think she’d ever seen him in jeans before. it was weird. “the good news is i understand your problem now.”

annabelle stepped aside, beckoning him in. “what problem?” she demanded. “it worked! you saw it work. that’s the opposite of a problem.”

hank shrugged. he handed her a trifold that he’d clearly printed off at home. it said so you think you’re a necromancer. annabelle blinked down at it, and then up at hank, and then down at the trifold again. “i … don’t understand what’s happening here,” she told him honestly. 

“i’m not in the community and they’re kind of cagey, so i can’t really tell you a lot,” hank told her, stilted and visibly uncomfortable. “but i have a cousin who is, and um, i just want you to know that this doesn’t change anything. you’re still who you’ve always been and you have my complete support. we’ll figure out how to get around the recert. maybe i’ll – i can put you on admin duty to give you time to study. we’ll say it’s because of an injury.”

“hank,” annabelle said, with some urgency. “hank, this flier says the word necromancer.”

“yes,” agreed hank, looking relieved. “oh, good, you’ve heard of it already. i thought i was going to have to have the whole your body is changing talk.”

annabelle shook her head. “no, i – hank. you know that … um, you know that necromancy isn’t real, right? people can’t bring other people back from the dead. that’s crazy.”

“annabelle, not four hours ago you instructed a dead man to stand up and he did.”

“okay, he wasn’t dead, obviously. he was almost dead, at best.”

“no. he was dead.”

“i felt his pulse! it was very faint!”

“you called his pulse. no one else would have felt it, because it wasn’t there except in response to you.”

“hank, what the fuck.”

he shrugged. “read the flier,” he instructed. “and bring dierdre home with you. you’re going to have to practice a lot if you want to get recertified, considering you haven’t one time had to use any of the skills you learned the first go around.”

he bussed her temple as he went by, letting himself out of her apartment with a friendly wave. annabelle looked down at the flier in her hand with a frown. when she unfolded it, the first page said, everyone’s necromancy journey is different, but most people discover their gift by accident. have you ever brought a pet back to life? touched an elderly relatives hand and seen some of the color flood back into their face? or perhaps, more subtly, been able to keep cut flowers alive long past their purchase date?

annabelle looked at her kitchen table. she’d had the same vase of tulips on it since she moved in, three years ago. it was true they periodically started to wilt, but she usually just changed their water and they were fine, popping back up one after the other as she slid them into the fresh vase. 

“well shit,” annabelle said, letting the flier fall from her hands.

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surreal

i started seeing screenshots of tumblr users receiving messages from a blog called “sexygirlmax2019”

this is, of course, standard on tumblr, to receive porn bot messages

checking the timestamps, all of sexygirlmax2019’s posts have been made today they’re formatted impeccably like bot messages and posts but they’re just a little off

this isn’t a bot this is a human controlling a blog acting like a bot all of the links?? aren’t porn links mysterious bit.ly links to this site: https://max2019.neocities.org/ if you “click here to instantly transport” you get taken to > /seraphim.html if you click it again > /cherubim.html again > /thrones.html …which returns a “Page Not Found” error

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drpepperphd

Porn Bot ARG

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fantashic

So I ran the mp3 you could get from /cherubim.html through a sstv scanner and got this back

Which is just straight up the image from /seraphim.html.

But the it’s weird, when I went back to /cherubim.html the page changed from a picture and an mp3 download to this:

And when I clicked on that I was taken to /firstsphere/thrones.html which looked like this:

When I clicked on THAT I was taken to /secondsphere/dominions.html and greeted to this disturbing image:

The last eye was apparently clickable which took me to /secondsphere/powers.html which looked like this:

the text on it reads: “H.U.R.L

Hierarchy of Uniform Resource Locators”

??????????

So /dominions.html just changed to this:

and /powers.html changed to:

BUT since making this update, the file for the image is no longer there! So it looks like:

Clicking on the (now missing) picture, it takes you to /secondsphere/light1.html which looks like:

Clicking that takes you to /secondsphere/light2.html, whick looks like how /powers.html looks:

Clicking that takes you back to /secondsphere/light1.html, which has JUST NOW gotten worse:

/secondsphere/light2.html now has the same image as  /secondsphere/light1.html but it now takes you to /secondsphere/light3.html which looks like:

which takes you to /secondsphere/virtues.html which is currently blank.

/secondsphere/virtues.html updated and now looks like:

Clicking on the image currently takes you to /thirdsphere/principalities.html which looks like:

The text reads “Struggle with thy doubts! Cast them aside! Forsake not thy faith! Sickness will not take thee!”

and the image is a gif titled wrestling

the next page is titled /archangels.html; currently blank

someone get night mind on this

So I tried to talk to her and I’m a little nervous now. Do you think this person might actually be in danger….?

I may overthink a lot, but this could be something bad..

UPDATE: There is now a /thirdsphere/angels.html page

(Added both still image and gif)

It is a gif much like the ones above, with the angel glitching out and disappearing and such. Nothing has been updated beyond this as of yet.

it says “found you” in the tab title

it says “it hurts” if you hover over that image

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reblogged

#buymelodramaonitunes

  • the reason melodrama is so complex is that it simultaneously celebrates and criticises parties as a place where the rules no longer apply 
  • parties give us an illusion of control? confined in the world of the party it’s all ‘our rules, our dreams’ and we are ‘kings and queens’
  • homemade dynamite is such a call to arms for our generation okay it feels like a metaphor for the potential we all have to create change 
  • but equally could be a metaphor for our self-destructive tendencies??? 
  • the louvre is beautiful because it glorifies the tiny beautiful moments, relationships that don’t last forever but are still beautiful and priceless and are still works of art - masterpieces and still good enough for the louvre
  • also this is a song about writing a love song? ‘broadcast the boom boom boom and make ‘em all dance to it’ that is literally the conventional role of pop music? 
  • okay but hear me out i think liability/hard feelings are two versions of the same story, liability immediately after the split and hard feelings in retrospect!!!!! there are so many parallels!!!
  • let go of this endless summer afternoon vs. every endless summer’s eating me alive 
  • well i guess i should go vs. well i guess i’ll go home 
  • big mistake of dancing in my storm vs.  how you’d dance for me 
  • i am obsessed with how sober ii explores the performance of being a young adult like ‘oh how fast the evening passes’ and the references to ‘champagne’ suggests some form of performed sophistication 
  • ‘we told you this was melodrama’ could play on this idea of performing a role, or alternatively could play on the way society views the lives of millennials - melodramatic and ridiculous!!!
  • ‘they’ll talk about us, all the lovers, how we kissed and killed each other’  reminds us that this is our legacy, this is how we live forever - it’s super self-reflective and seems to call on us to consider the mark we are leaving on the world BUT also ‘romanticises us making us the stuff of myth and legend, we are immortalised forever in our scandal 
  • writer in the dark!!!!! so like to begin with that double meaning - kissing her literally in the dark / kissing her while he kept her in the dark about how he really felt 
  • this is lorde’s ‘blank space’ revenge song okay fight me on this 
  • her secret power is being able to keep him forever bc she ‘locks him in her heart’ he’ll rue the day he kissed her because in doing so he sealed his fate!!!
  • this is actually REALLY CREEPY I WANT A CREEPY MUSIC VIDEO!!!!
  • okay so love of my life supercut: every chorus is like the actual supercut playing back all the good parts back - that sunny pre-chorus with the repetition, mirroring the idea of a highlights reel playing over and over again
  • but it’s also a metaphor for seeing a past relationship through rose-tinted glasses/the way nostalgia makes things beautiful - she is only remembering the beautiful parts
  • okay but the ultimate storyline of the album seems to be from green light, sober, homemade dynamite we get the impression that ‘all there is, is the party’, whereas liability reprise suggests that ‘maybe all this is the party’ which is such a beautiful and hopeful discovery for the album to make - leading straight into perfect places, which celebrates life with all it’s imperfections and flaws!!!
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ms-mazarin

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

Edit: People, I’m an English and creative writing double major in college; I understand that there’s nothing wrong with simply using “said.” This was just for fun, and it comes in handy when I need to add pizzazz. 

Source: msocasey
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jasonptodd

I had a dream they announced all the women in Overwatch were lesbians and you could get a poster with all of them on it that said “LESBIANS” in the Overwatch font

this took me like an hour but i did it @jasonptodd 

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shroom1up

here have the improved version:

The ridiculousness of this post has become so dense it has achieved singularity.

we may not even are

WE MAY NOT EVEN ARE

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dededddddd

You bored, or feeling artsy but don’t have any inspiration...? *updated!*

Do you need to distract yourself? Or are you simply bored? Here are some great websites to make the time pass.

Still haven’t found something that would float your boat? Try these:

Maybe none of these peeked your interest-maybe you’ve been wanting to create an o.c, but never really knew how to start-or you just enjoy making O.C’s….

This masterlist is to help you in making your own OCs….it can also apply to developing RP characters i suppose! (´ヮ`)!

How to Write Better OCs:

Character Development:

Need an Appearance idea?

Diversity

Mary Sue/Gary Stu

Villains

Relationships

ARCHETYPES

NAMES

APPEARANCE

DETAILS

Need Item names?

Other stuffs!

Love ya

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